The Morgan Cup - Want to be a Tour Player?

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I've got something in the works for the Effin Wow Factor though, he's going to wish he never signed up for this event. You'll see on Monday. Unless it is ready early, then you'll see it this morning, but believe me, when you're seeing it....you'll know you just seen it. The Effin Wow Factor is a pansy. Did you know he tucks his shirts into the inside of his underwear? What a freakin' weirdo.

Buddy, I already wish that were the case.
And you are correct, I do tuck my shirts into my underwear. Why you ask? Its the only weigh to keep them on because of the the 3rd leg that is trying to force them down. See Puttin4bearattacks, its kind of like a tripod and gravity takes over. So a little duct tape on the shirt and they stay up no problemo. However I would rather that be the issue than your partners the rash brothers openly discussing no underwear for their match together. When you see them reading greens for each other (poorly I might add), it will all come together though.
 
Silly Puttin4comedy, he believes the Wow Factor is only about the golf course. Clearly you have skimmed. The ladies love me and the men all want to be me.
 
Buddy, I already wish that were the case.
And you are correct, I do tuck my shirts into my underwear. Why you ask? Its the only weigh to keep them on because of the the 3rd leg that is trying to force them down. See Puttin4bearattacks, its kind of like a tripod and gravity takes over. So a little duct tape on the shirt and they stay up no problemo. However I would rather that be the issue than your partners the rash brothers openly discussing no underwear for their match together. When you see them reading greens for each other (poorly I might add), it will all come together though.

WOW (pun intended). That is some funny sh*t there!!

JWOW bringing it this morning!
 
HAHAHAHAHA. Wow... I'm not quite sure what to make of the effin wow factor but it's cracking me up.

I still feel like a DB though.
 
You're weird, we are the only continent in the world who is so rich, that we decided that it would be fun to "live like a poor person for a while." You know what half the world calls our "camping", living! Its cold, dank, boring and altogether unpleasant, kind of like a Team Paradise team meeting.
That is a pretty good analogy, we've worked so hard to have all these great amenities in our lives. Then we take them all away, live out of a freakin' cooler and start fires to cook our food. Again, I'm more of a veg on the couch and watch my 56" HDTV kind of a guy but.....
 
Silly Puttin4comedy, he believes the Wow Factor is only about the golf course. Clearly you have skimmed. The ladies love me and the men all want to be me.
I haven't skimmed your Wow Factor messages, I'm just not sure if the WOW that comes is one of those good wow's like "WOW, look at that!" or this kind of wow, "wow, that poor SOB, you just gotta feel for a guy like that."
 
I haven't skimmed your Wow Factor messages, I'm just not sure if the WOW that comes is one of those good wow's like "WOW, look at that!" or this kind of wow, "wow, that poor SOB, you just gotta feel for a guy like that."

I think we both know the answer to that puttin4jakestraight
Hell, you just told me that you had a dream that you were me, felt fantastic, woke up and looked in the mirror and cried a little bit.
We both put our pants on the same way...Which is FREAKING FANTASTIC...The difference is twofold.

1. I dont fall over putting the 2nd leg in.
2. And they look freaking fantastic on me.

But I digress with the philosophy that you already know all of this. You know just how fantastic I am. How the JB Cup has been permanently mounted on my desk and that if you are lucky enough, I will let you get a glimpse of just what greatness is. On the first tee, you will show me the white towel that is in the golf cart and say "In Fargo we get some shovels to move the snow, here they got nifty towels". By the 3rd tee, you will attach it to your 9 iron. And by the 7th tee, you will be waving it for mercy. Why? Because school is in session son, and your teacher is the man of the hour, the reason for power, and the scoring tower. The Effin WOW FACTOR.
 
JB has me cracking up this morning, its like if "storage wars" and "Jersey Shore" had a baby with With Brad Pitt, thats how awesome it is.
 
JWOW has me cracking up this morning, its like if "storage wars" and "Jersey Shore" had a baby with With Brad Pitt, thats how awesome it is.

FIFY...
 
Just got back from both an awesome and terrible round of golf. So what is the awesome you might be asking, good question:

AWESOME:
- Driving the ball really well, probably the best I ever had.
- Putting, starting to really see the lines.
- Score after 9 holes, 38 (2 over par)
- My caddie said I had the nicest ass he'd seen all summer.

THE TERRIBLE:
- On 8 fairway I got an emergency service call from a big client and I had to leave before seeing if I could break 80.
- Caddie cried as I left.

Dude, thanks for letting me Caddie for you yesterday

A little golf today. Anyone else getting out and playing?

Played yesterday, on my nemesis course...a course I hate. All dogleg left. Shot an 85. Should have been better. Drained a 60 footer on 18 for birdie. I was happy.

So I woke up this morning.
Pissed regular old pee
Ate my eggs scrambled not raw
Showered and brushed my teeth
Put some clothes on.
Returned some emails
Then sat down to do his work (perfectly of course).

See while there are many pretenders out there that burn during using the restroom or eat raw eggs because Hulk Hogan once did, the REAL EFFIN SHOW does not need to do any of that. Excellence comes so naturally that upon waking up, its already in the other room practicing. Excellence cannot be faked and when the Wow Factor steps on the first tee and Ronald Mcdonald and Long John Silver start to quiver, the cameras can zoom in and get a nice tight shot of what we at the highest level like to call panic!

I dont burn, I just piss excellence. Your cool, but you are obviously lacking somewhere. I cant wait to kick your A$$ in the Morgan Cup joshua
 
I think we both know the answer to that puttin4jakestraight
Hell, you just told me that you had a dream that you were me, felt fantastic, woke up and looked in the mirror and cried a little bit.
We both put our pants on the same way...Which is FREAKING FANTASTIC...The difference is twofold.

1. I dont fall over putting the 2nd leg in.
2. And they look freaking fantastic on me.

But I digress with the philosophy that you already know all of this. You know just how fantastic I am. How the JB Cup has been permanently mounted on my desk and that if you are lucky enough, I will let you get a glimpse of just what greatness is. On the first tee, you will show me the white towel that is in the golf cart and say "In Fargo we get some shovels to move the snow, here they got nifty towels". By the 3rd tee, you will attach it to your 9 iron. And by the 7th tee, you will be waving it for mercy. Why? Because school is in session son, and your teacher is the man of the hour, the reason for power, and the scoring tower. The Effin WOW FACTOR.
You're impressive alright Effin Wow Factor, bordering on narcissism actually. I knew this side of you was in there somewhere, but under the Firebush wig and the funny accent mocking we couldn't see it. I bet you feel like a new man, like Coolbreeze when he came out of the closet for that time during college. FINALLY you're not hiding the real you, this is great for you!

Great work on the rhyming though, the man of the hour, the reason for power and the scoring tower, you have a little Snoop Doggy Dog in you too actually. I like it!
 
I found those videos to focus too much on other people and not enough about me. So they had been shelved. I thought about the latest video which would just be a camera focused on me as I stare at myself. Instead, Im taking my time writing a 4 hour script of what I will say to KFC and Long John Silver during our match.

No way it takes 4 hours to play 12 holes. hehehe

Just got back from both an awesome and terrible round of golf. So what is the awesome you might be asking, good question:

AWESOME:
- Driving the ball really well, probably the best I ever had.
- Putting, starting to really see the lines.
- Score after 9 holes, 38 (2 over par)
- My caddie said I had the nicest ass he'd seen all summer.

THE TERRIBLE:
- On 8 fairway I got an emergency service call from a big client and I had to leave before seeing if I could break 80.
- Caddie cried as I left.

Glad to see you playing some good golf, and I didn't mean for you to see me cry.

Team Hackers. I'm still not conceding any putts and I would appreciate if you'd stop asking. That's for people who like to have fun.

TC I've got my eye on entertaining the masses that day. People like Mexican and pudgy. It's a fact.

Sent from my PG86100 using Tapatalk

I know I do.
 
I dont burn, I just piss excellence. Your cool, but you are obviously lacking somewhere. I cant wait to kick your A$$ in the Morgan Cup joshua

Few things.
1. We dont play against each other.
2. Its clear your captain did not think you were worthy.
3. The Wow Factor does not do JV dude!

And the only thing JB lacks is an opponent that deserves even sharing a tee box with him.

1 A Canadian with tiny feet? Really?
2 A red headed guy that likes to imitate Hulk Hogan?
3 A pile of melted cheese?
4 A politician?
5 A guy that is more known for Jake Straight and losses in FL than his work here?

I mean do you see the what the common trend is here Jarret (with one T)? Outside of course with how fragmented your team is match up wise? The Wow Factor steps on the tee box and tears come into play. And yeah Paradisians say "tears of joy". And they are damn right. Because they do cry a little bit being around a superb being. The undeniable thoughts creep in that say "Who the Eff is this guy and how the hell can I be like him" are heard loud and clear.

JB OUT!
 
Few things.
1. We dont play against each other.
2. Its clear your captain did not think you were worthy.
3. The Wow Factor does not do JV dude!

And the only thing JB lacks is an opponent that deserves even sharing a tee box with him.

1 A Canadian with tiny feet? Really?
2 A red headed guy that likes to imitate Hulk Hogan?
3 A pile of melted cheese?
4 A politician?
5 A guy that is more known for Jake Straight and losses in FL than his work here?

I mean do you see the what the common trend is here Jarret (with one T)? Outside of course with how fragmented your team is match up wise? The Wow Factor steps on the tee box and tears come into play. And yeah Paradisians say "tears of joy". And they are damn right. Because they do cry a little bit being around a superb being. The undeniable thoughts creep in that say "Who the Eff is this guy and how the hell can I be like him" are heard loud and clear.

JB OUT!

I'll let you know that politicians always have some dirty tricks up their sleeves. Beware my friend, beware.
 
You're impressive alright Effin Wow Factor, bordering on narcissism actually. I knew this side of you was in there somewhere, but under the Firebush wig and the funny accent mocking we couldn't see it. I bet you feel like a new man, like Coolbreeze when he came out of the closet for that time during college. FINALLY you're not hiding the real you, this is great for you!

Great work on the rhyming though, the man of the hour, the reason for power and the scoring tower, you have a little Snoop Doggy Dog in you too actually. I like it!

Bordering? There is no bordering! The only borders we talk about at the JB Cup is the one your partner crossed to be here and the place you used to go to buy this book!

small_The_Wow_Factor_-_Jacket_copy.jpg


Of course Im not hiding the real me anymore. I heard all about the real me for a few weeks, why hide it anymore? This train is on its way to Reunion and with the Silent Ninja and the Real Deal next to him, the only trainwreck will be the vomit from fear from Team Paradise members after watching greatness stand next to them.
 
Few things.
1. We dont play against each other.
2. Its clear your captain did not think you were worthy.
3. The Wow Factor does not do JV dude!

And the only thing JB lacks is an opponent that deserves even sharing a tee box with him.

1 A Canadian with tiny feet? Really?
2 A red headed guy that likes to imitate Hulk Hogan?
3 A pile of melted cheese?
4 A politician?
5 A guy that is more known for Jake Straight and losses in FL than his work here?

I mean do you see the what the common trend is here Jarret (with one T)? Outside of course with how fragmented your team is match up wise? The Wow Factor steps on the tee box and tears come into play. And yeah Paradisians say "tears of joy". And they are damn right. Because they do cry a little bit being around a superb being. The undeniable thoughts creep in that say "Who the Eff is this guy and how the hell can I be like him" are heard loud and clear.

JB OUT!

I know we dont play each other Joshua(with One J). Its because you were nervous of my ability to play hungover.

When you look at me on the range on Friday, and I make you look funny in your clothes because I will be wearing the same ones, you may cry. I will smoke a cig, you will smoke a bloog. You may be hitting wedges, but I will show you how to hit a flop shot with a driver. I have 7 leg hairs. all of which will intimidate the hell out of you. DOnt hate!

One-T Out
 
I know we dont play each other Joshua(with One J). Its because you were nervous of my ability to play hungover.

When you look at me on the range on Friday, and I make you look funny in your clothes because I will be wearing the same ones, you may cry. I will smoke a cig, you will smoke a bloog. You may be hitting wedges, but I will show you how to hit a flop shot with a driver. I have 7 leg hairs. all of which will intimidate the hell out of you. DOnt hate!

One-T Out

This explains the JV team so much.
Cant compete with the amazing heat and are about to get beat.
The factor is here to bring that tear that will fall in your beer.
Did you hear?

The EFFIN WOW FACTOR!
 
LOL at Jake still calling him Snoop Doggy Dog.

Hey Jake, I just heard of this awesome new technological advancement in lighting! Coming to soon to a Fargo Wal-Mart near you:

clapper-01.jpg
 
I love how JRod = the silent Ninja!
 
I love how JRod = the silent Ninja!

He emails me constantly talking about all of you. I call him the backstabber Ninja.

Behind his back, of course.
 
I love how JRod = the silent Ninja!

Hell yeah he is the silent ninja. He dices up Paradisians like a Ginzu through a tin can. He breaks things off at a moment's notice and wrecks matches with the skill of a ninja.

I mean think about it.
His length + actual accuracy.
Then the amazing wedge game of yours truly.
The fact that this was requested was egomaniacally comical and yet none can touch the narcissism of this guy (nor the ability).
 
This explains the JV team so much.
Cant compete with the amazing heat and are about to get beat.
The factor is here to bring that tear that will fall in your beer.
Did you hear?

The EFFIN WOW FACTOR!

Oh, you call yourself the wow factor?
you look as cool as Dirtydawg driving a tractor.
you and the silent ninja teamed together will be a hit
have i mentioned KFC and Long John Silvers Makes me Sh!T?
you may think I am nervous or scared of your witty banter
when I put on that Cally gear I will be known as the sex panther.
For an epic round of golf sunday will be
When its Puttin4giggles against JB
After 18 a victor will stand
we know it will be puttin4jumbalaya with Wallack in hand.
On the first tee you will give a Marine yell.....Hua!
Cause you are the man, the myth, the legend....JOSHUA
 
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