Question about what's proper and what's not!

Fingerz

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Hello all,

Can someone please advise me on what to do if I'm ever in this situation again? I'm open to all comments.

Background: I have played for the last few years but usually with the same group or alone. This past weekend I played with a co-worker who is a beginner. This was her 7th or 8th game and we were having a decent game. Prior to playing, she took about 15 lessons over a period of 3 months. So our games have progressed along nicely without losing any balls or spending time searching the weeds for them. The course was a public one and we pretty much had it to ourselves. We had made it to hole 4 before I realize a single had popped out of now where and was right behind us. After we teeing off, on hole 4, he asked to join while we were in the fairway. I was hesitant but said ok and that we were playing a very casual game. Because she is new to golf, I didn't want any pressure of scoring or anything else to scare her away. He said ok.

This guy ran through the holes like he only had 30 minutes of life left on earth. By the time we got to hole 6, I could tell she was no longer having 'fun' and neither was I. She wasn't striking the ball like I had seen her do. After talking to her I found out that we both felt rushed by this guy and it just through our game off. She said she felt nervous and uncomfortable in general. It was as if we were holding the guy up. It was so bad that after teeing off on hole 7, we just picked the ball up in the fairway and left. I was upset with myself for just quiting once I thought about it at home.

So my question is how do you deal with that situation? What is proper? Could I have told him to just play through or that we wanted to relax a bit more? I had never experienced it before and I didn't quite know what to tell my friend.

Fingerz
 
Be polite and let him know you'd rather play alone as you guys are beginners and he is welcome to play through. If there is no where to go then he stays behind or plays at your pace.

But you should never feel as though you have let someone play with you. It's polite and good to do but not at the expense of your comfort.
 
Agree with this.
great advise.
 
A single playing fast it is kind of surprising that he even wanted to join as other group, although some like playing with others rather than alone. Anyway, best thing to do is casually ask if the single if he wanted to on by himself so you didn't hold him up. If he doesn't take the hint, then after a hole is done just make up an excuse to stay back and insist he goes on ahead so you're not holding him up. Just tell him you think you left a club or head cover behind and you have to go get it.
 
Thats too bad and a pity it ruined your round. I know how you feel as I am not a slow player by any means but I struggle when playing with "speed golfers". Golf isnt a turtle-derby but it shouldnt be a race either.

I dont think its improper to just ask him to go on ahead. If he asks why just tell him the truth, he'll be fine.
 
Just suggest he go ahead alone.
He's playing fast, he's not going to hold you up, you and him both will have a more pleasant round.
 
Be polite and let him know you'd rather play alone as you guys are beginners and he is welcome to play through. If there is no where to go then he stays behind or plays at your pace.

But you should never feel as though you have let someone play with you. It's polite and good to do but not at the expense of your comfort.

Good advice, Tad. Can't say much more than this.
 
I joined up with a group one time and the wife was playing very poorly. I'm not sure whether she was doing that before I joined, but her husband said having others around was making her nervous. He asked me to go on ahead, which I was happy to do.

Nobody should have to play when they're uncomfortable, so it would have been no problem for you guys to simply ask him to go ahead of you.
 
I know when I play as a single I never ask to join a group, only other singles. I actually feel that he should have just played through when he got there and it was he who was rude to intrude. I hate that he messed up what was an enjoyable round before he barged in. You now know what you plan to do should this happen again so in my mind it is another learning experience and still was a valuable day on the links.
 
Seems like golf etiquette is a thing of the past for the casual golfer
 
You could give him an excuse such as "Im giving her a lesson" or "We're playing competitively" and then kindly allow him to play through.
 
Play your game at your pace...he asked to join your group. Since he asked, I would think he should follow suit to play along with your pace. If he didn't like joining in then maybe he should have been the one to drop out.
 
you need to play and be comfortable, if that means just you and co-worker, decline his offer to play along and have him play through. i am a 10 handicap and have caught up to 2&3 before, i do not ask to play with them, they have offered, but i do not force the issue. i hit the ball pretty good and can make beginners or high handicaps nervous. if he is a golfer, you will not hurt his feelings
 
I had this EXACT same thing happen to me. A couple guys caught up to me and I told 'em to go ahead. They insisted I just join them so I did. However, after just a couple of holes it was clear these guys were speed golfers for sure. They damn near ran to their ball, no joke. So on the third tee box I told 'em they played at a faster pace than I wanted to play and asked them to go on without me. I was very polite about it and they very much understood and went on with their round. No harm no foul. I still see the guys from time to time and we're friendly. Never be afraid to speak up if you feel uncomfortable. Most don't get out to the course as much as they'd like so when you do get out it's imperative that you're able to really enjoy yourself.
 
All sorts of good advice above. As a single, he is probably happy to play alone, so just politely have a word that the pace is intimidating and allow him through.
 
No shame in telling someone "That's ok, but why dont' you just go ahead and play through." Even when you played a few holes together and things were uncomfortable, tell the single to just go ahead and that you 2 were going to work on something on the green. No shame at all.
 
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