I’m Back…. and Worse than Ever
Let’s all take a moment and try to connect. After you read this, close your eyes, and try to remember a time when you played out of your comfort zone and things just fell apart. Maybe it was joining a random group on the course, hitting balls in front of an audience at the range, or even teeing off in front of the world during a THP Experience live stream. Try to recall that feeling in your stomach – the one that almost made it impossible to take the club back for fear of making yourself look foolish. Try to remember how that swing you worked so hard on fell apart in a matter of seconds and left you desperately trying to find something solid to cling to.
Sound familiar?
Man, have I been there. I spent years there. I visited that dark place in private and on some of the most public stages a non-competitive golfer will ever find. Maybe you haven’t experienced this, or it’s happened so infrequently that you can’t fully relate. I know there are people like you out there, but I believe more are like me than aren’t. Today, we are starting a new series devoted to you.
For those that don’t know my story, I spent five years as an equipment reviewer for The Hackers Paradise (THP). As part of a contest, I submitted an article that earned me a coveted spot as a writer for the website, reviewing just about every type of golf equipment available. THP’s ownership has always been unique in that they encourage golfers of all skill levels to share their thoughts on the game they love. While other companies may say they feel the same way, THP’s actions over the years illustrate their commitment to this philosophy. Maybe the greatest demonstration of this was allowing me, a virtual beginner with a 30+ handicap, a chance to share my opinions on golf equipment. Unsurprisingly, this experiment worked, and worked incredibly well. I can’t tell you the number of times I heard a phrase like “I read your reviews and listen to your opinions because I know you’re like me” from our readers.
Over time, the handicap dropped a little. Taking a couple lessons and playing regularly produced better scores, but I was never what I’d consider “good” at playing golf. For all the acceptance I received from THP and its community of readers, I was always my own worst critic (and believe me, I had some very vocal critics). The truth is, on the public stage, it’s not very fun to stink at golf, even if stinking at golf is the part of your identity for which people like you. I had opportunities to play with readers, industry leaders, and even professional golfers. I had many good times, plenty of good shots, and even some halfway respectable performances, but just never could slay those demons. I can’t explain to you the feelings that course through your body when you hit a shot four inches backwards in front of two LPGA players. It’s tough to shake. While I was always able to apply humility and humor to my plight, the fact remains that I had an incredible desire to improve and disassociate myself from the identity I’d created.
So, I invested a great deal of time, money, and personal effort into improving my game. I took lessons locally and via the internet, which was a somewhat archaic process back then. I hit hundreds of balls a week. I sought out advice from professionals and industry leaders. I played with, and observed, good players. I joined a club and played a ton of golf. After years of this, I managed to drop my handicap into the teens, eking out scores in the 80’s when things went well. If I’m being honest with myself, which I think is often an improving golfer’s biggest challenge, most of that improvement came through course management, familiarity, and a decent short game. Regardless of what my GHIN said, swing issues I never managed to resolve remained nearby, waiting to appear any time even the smallest amount of stress was present. My timing and club face control could disappear in a literal second, leaving a trail of unfulfilling rounds at some of the game’s premier destinations.
How bad did it get? Here’s a very candid admission: I went to Callaway Golf’s ECPC, a place where normal golfers’ dreams come true, and I barely hit any golf balls on the range. I acted too busy to spend time with some of the industry’s best fitters while an entire unreleased product line sat in front of me. Why? I can only believe it was purely the desire to preserve my disintegrating sense of self-worth.
In 2014 I gave it one last, best attempt. Again, there was some measurable improvement, but nothing close to what I hoped for. In 2015, it just became too much. I had a young family and decided if I was going to spend my limited time on personal pursuits, I was at least going to get satisfaction out of them. So, I quit. I played four rounds in seven years, always as favor to someone else, and didn’t once have the desire to begin playing regularly again.
Seven years later, my son took an interest in the game, and I eventually couldn’t avoid it. Surprisingly, even with all those years of rust clinging to the same old swing, I found joy in the game again. I saw him in me, full of hope, positivity, and determination to improve. Bad scores followed, as should be expected, but the part of me that was so immersed in the game and the golf industry began to emerge again. As I looked closer at the industry I’d ignored for so long, I saw an incredible progression in the technology available to golfers that wanted to improve. One thought became very clear to me.
What a great time to be a bad golfer.
I began to consider the possibilities. Could a fresh perspective, paired with this remarkable technological advancement, give my story a different ending? If I changed how I approached the concept of game improvement, could I finally come home from a golf trip with a little personal satisfaction? If I shared this process with THP and its readers, could I bring people along with me on this pursuit? Could I help those that joined with me find what we had been missing for so long? Better yet, could I use the power of THP and the golf industry to put a little icing on the cake – an experience they’d never forget?
Today, I invite all of you join me as I embark on a renewed process to improve. We’ll explore technology, data analysis, artificial intelligence, modern golf instruction, and much more. This week, I want to hear your stories about your desire to improve over the years, your successes and failures, and what lasting improvement looks like to you. Join in the discussion here on the THP forum.
I’ll be following along and know I share all of what you’re sharing.
Glad to see the bug bit you again
As time goes on, we have plans to make this as much about all of you as it is about me. I see dozens of you at any one time embarking on plans to improve. Hopefully this will give you some help or motivation along the way.
We’ll look deep into how we can use all this technology and actually get better. If you have anything that catches your eye out there, send a message my way.
In a few weeks I’ll discuss some framework and dive right in. I’ve been patiently waiting to get started ??
I have a somewhat similar story as far as giving up the game for a period of time. I have been playing for more than 50 years. In 2008, I stopped playing, caused in part by a failed attempt to achieve a single digit handicap. And during that time, I was not enjoying playing golf. I was too focused on score and not focused on enjoying the game.
From 2009-2015, I played once a year in a scramble. In 2016, my brother asked me to play in a weekly league. I agreed and began playing again, although with a different attitude. I promised myself that I was going to enjoy every opportunity that I had to play, regardless of how I played. That is how I continue to approach the game.
It wasn’t until last year that I decided to reestablish my handicap. I have gotten down to an 11.0 index but I’m no longer consumed with a desire to achieve single digits.
I’m currently considering taking lessons. I haven’t had a lesson since 2002 and have only taken 2 in my lifetime. I’m striving to play better golf and not necessarily chasing a lower handicap or lower scores. I go out every time and do the best that I can that day. Nothing bad is going to happen to me if I hit a bad shot or play poorly. There will always be another day and another round.
Mentally, I think I have turned a corner and can enjoy a round of golf even when my swing flies off the rails. Golf is a fun walk and even if I stray off the fairway trail (or hit 0% of the fairways which has happened 5 times this year) I can at least appreciate 1 or 2 good aspects of the game. Very rarely does my whole game fall apart during a single round. Typically I will take my lumps off the tee, drop, and see what my short game can eek out.
This will be a fun read and a good follow! I look forward to laughing, celebrating and cringing along with your story!
Please do, @BuckNasty
I’m hoping we have a bunch of topics we can commiserate on, but also learn from the community through discussion. I felt your experience last week while following the Goat Cup live thread.
And man, I hope it helps keep the motivation going to truly work on the game. Just last night at Top Golf my swing decided to desert me. Now it didn’t bother me, as the trip was my 8yr old daughter’s idea. With her there I could have cold topped every ball and it simply didn’t matter with her smiling and having fun. That said, if it had been with buddies I might have driven away with a different thought. Probably not, as I cherish that fellowship, but possibly.
Looking forward to future articles and conversations!
Love this post.
I hate to outright say this, but the reality is that unless you are fortunate to have a great instructor nearby and the money to really utilize that instructor often, the old route of lessons > beat balls is often a recipe for failure. At least that’s been my experience.
I know instant feedback is a big deal for people, which is why in-person lessons are often the preferred route. However, video-based AI and launch monitors/sims can offer something similar, as long as you have an instructor that is on-board.
We have some really cool plans with showcasing technology here and I hope it bears out in the long term.
I retired from California, moved to Texas, and after a 2 month golf layoff, I proceeded to play a round with a local THP sub-teen golfer. I could not hit anything, and was embarrassed every time I teed off. They have a rule of no worse than double the hole handicap plus 1 stroke, and I took advantage of that about 4 times. I shot in the 120s. Worse than a brand new golfer. Needless to say, I took on the mission of getting better. I joined a local club and proceeded to play once per week, and eventually twice per week and my handicap fell, a lot. I now consistently shoot in the high 80s to low 90s and I am fine with that. Do I want to get better, you bet, but I am not rushing anything. I played golf for a few years when I was in my 20s before kids came and dominated my life. I coached baseball for 5 years, was a cubmaster for same, all the while going back to college to get my BS and then my MS. Fast forward to 2019, my kids are all grown and my wife started to show an interest in golf. Her company sponsored a golf tournament for years, and she was relegated to sitting at the hospitality table for hours on end since she did not golf. After a few years of that, she realized that being a golfer would be way better than sitting down all tournament, so she took lessons. Not to be outdone (left behind), I took up the game again and never looked back. We now play together twice per week and have a blast. I look forward to your take on gaming equipment as your game seems to be in the same boat as mine.
Great post. I like that you quit chasing a number. That’s exactly where I am at mentally. The funny thing is, my hunch is that the numbers will come even without a huge focus on them. Things have a way of working out.
We also all know the feeling of a shank. It’s the utter confusion of why you can hit a perfect shot, then hit a terrible one right after with what feels like the same swing. It’s maddening enough to join a forum full of strangers to talk about it like it’s an AA meeting.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the post!
I’ve always been lucky to have a decent short game, which has bailed me out more than I deserve. That has taken a bit of time to regain over the last couple months., but I can see it slowly coming back and that has helped quite a bit. I would definitely love consistency with the full swing, and my hope is that I can simplify it and get something that works more often than not, especially under pressure.
This is so true on a number of levels.
Everybody has lives get in the way of what they would really want to do. Or better yet, sometimes it is as simple as pure motivation and lack thereof.
My swing escaped me. I went from a low single digit golfer with a pretty good short game, to a person that hopes it shows up that day timing wise. Why? Lack of play I am sure, gone from twice a week every week to every other month and no swings in between. So when I started down the lesson path, I figured it was the right call. But I didnt have the time or motivation to beat balls on the range in between sessions and get an alignment stick out. So habits crept in. Over the top came back. Steep came back and got worse. Ball position escaped. So here I am, a broken golfer, now working to fix it finally since I am playing more in THP Experiences.
I am so excited to see where @Hawk takes this because you are right, there is a little bit of this in all of us.
I feel your pain on the first part. It’s like your brain and body just rebels!
Very cool that you’ve found a way to share the game with your wife. Something I hope happens for me one day.
As for equipment- definitely stay tuned.
In my absence I never even knew that. Seems to me like you didn’t miss a beat. I’ve been watching your path to the GD and it seemed like you had a solid weekend in Myrtle. Just learning how to play when you’re exhausted will help lol.
Isn’t that the truth.
Very cool that your THP experience has given you that mindset.
Exhausted during the Myrtle trip is putting it lightly ?
Same. My whole first round at The Goat, apologizing to everyone when I hit bad shots. Just getting back into the game after years off and having to learn to enjoy it.
Great article @Hawk definitely think a lot of folks can relate.
So the last member of the GD?
Love the article… as others have posted it def feels like my story as well.
Definitely not that – new contest coming soon for that I believe!
Definitely not that, but I know the contest for the spot will be around soon!
Was thinking maybe redemption tour.
You had a great group to play with at least. Can’t think of a more positive opponent than @Canadan (while he politely dominates lol). We’ve definitely all been there.
Man, I’ve been following all the live threads and lead-up threads and to say I’m chomping at the bit to get back in one is an understatement. Hopefully 2023 for sure.
Is this the Easter Egg??
It was the most polite a$$whooping I have ever had. @JasonFinleyCG kept us in the match as much as he could, and his trash talk is untouchable .
An event with pros?? ?
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