Lamkin Grips

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Here at The Hackers Paradise we review a lot of different things. Equipment, Accessories, Apparel, and so much more. This one however was incredibly unique. It is not often that we get to review a product that is more for fun than anything else. A golf ball that is designed to produce longer drives than anything else out there. Sure, every golf ball company makes these claims, but they are playing by the rules. Foo-King-Long golf balls say openly that they are not USGA compliant. In fact they openly say that they are the “first illegal ball designed for optimum performance”.

The Legend
As experts in their own discipline, ninjas were constantly searching for new skills, and keeping the secrets of their society would have been their top priority.  However, a tale that was passed down thru the generations has given us some insight into a highly skilled individual known as Foo-King-Long.

The infamous story is told as follows:  One afternoon among the alpine plants of Mount Kita, Long was in deep meditation in preparation for his next mission.   His thoughts focused toward an attack from a longer distance in which his enemy could not see or hear him.  His mind raced furiously as he began to pack special, mystical powders into a tight, solid core.  He then took a second piece of rare elements only found in the Akaishi Mountains of Japan and formed a shield around his project.  After meticulously carving 432 dimples into the shell, Long had created a ball that had such an advanced nucleus that it optimized spin and control while drastically exceeding any standard of distance.
 
Whether the target was heavily guarded by a dense forest, thick sand dunes or natural water, an enemy at 350 yards did not stand a chance when Foo-King-Long was around.  With a single swing of his sword, Long would quietly launch his weapon of choice and attack his enemies with ease.  He would leave his name firmly inscribed in the projectile beside his fallen enemy as a warning to others.

Foo-King-Long’s death is still a mystery.  It is rumored that he returned to Mount Kita and laid down for a final time among the spiritual elements.  All that was left of his legacy was the projectiles that he had scattered all across the country side in one won battle after another.  

First Impressions
THP was contacted by the company to review the Foo-King-Long golf ball and we were a little confused. We could not use them in real rounds, we were not sure if most of our readers would purchase a product quite like this. When the package arrived, both myself and the others in the offfice, could do nothing but laugh. The box itself is absolutely hysterical. Quotes like:

Illegal Core = Ninja like speed
Do Not Put Foo-King-Long In Water
Foo-King-Long has been known to attact Beer Cart Girls
And Quite a few more

With the first impression that we were getting from the packaging, the ball itself was almost an after thought. But once we examined the ball, it looks like a golf ball. However there is a noticeable seam that you just do not see much of anymore. With all the laughter we were eager to try them out on the course.

Driving Test
Myself and 3 other golfers parked ourselves on the tee box and we were each armed with 6 Foo-King-Longs and 6 Titleist DT Carry. Each one of us took turns hitting drives and we alternated between the Titleist and the Foo-King-Long. In between the laughter and fun, the results did not lie. Every single one of us hit the Foo-King-Long’s further by an average of 8.6 yards. To take it a step further showed that the Foo-King-Long golf ball did not get out driven on a single drive by any of the testers.

The following day we rounded up the same 3 players and went to a different hole and each hit the same 6 Foo-King-Longs and compared them to our regular golf ball off the tee. We came away with almost identical results. Our regular golf ball just did not stack up distance wise against the Foo-King-Longs. We did not believe it going in, but after the testing was complete, we are starting to become believers.

Short Game Test
Could a ball illegally built for distance perform around the green? Well, the answer is yes and no. First we setup at the 100 yard market and each took turns hitting approach shots. The ball soared high and landed soft on the greens. No spin really, but a soft landing and a nice high ball flight. We then setup at 40 yards and hit pitches into the greens, and this is where the trouble started. The ball just would not check up for any of us. To be fair, it is not really supposed to, but we run our tests with every golf ball we review. Chipping was really no different than pitching, in that the ball was just not checking for us. We moved to the putting green and were surprised that we all really liked the putting with the ball. All of us said that the ball had a nice audible tone and it did not feel “clicky” at all.
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Overall
For sheer fun and enjoyment, the Foo-King_Long golf ball delivers on all everything. It works as advertised off the tee and going in, I just did not think it would make a difference. We were all stunned by the added distance and have since played them again and again and the stats off the OnPar GPS just do not lie. Off the tee, the ball travels further than our regular balls do.

Would I play them regularly? Probably not. They would be fun in scrambles off the tee and they certainly make a great conversation piece during an entire round. They also make great stocking stuffers for that golfer that has just about everything. The cost is about $25 per dozen and in my opinion worth every penny. You can check out so much more about these Ninja like golf balls at their website, www.fookinglong.com.

Till Next Time

Josh B.

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Category: Equipment, Golf Balls

About the Author ()

Josh is the Publisher of The Hackers Paradise and co-founder of THP Media with his wife Morgan Babbitt. Together they share a passion for golf, and they travel the country along with their two dogs in the THP Tour Van bringing their love and knowledge of the game to golfers everywhere.

Comments (15)

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  1. Osahar says:

    So the mystical claim of being longest off the tee has finally been proven! And all it takes is the mystical ninja powder. =)

    Something like this would be great in certain situations, like for-fun scrambles & such.

  2. Smallville says:

    These would be fun just to try out. If I were to get them it would likely to be as a souvenir, possibly giving a couple sleeves out as gag gifts.

  3. bonknhead says:

    I agree with Smallville – these would be fun to try out and give as gag gifts, given the humorous packaging. It’s great to see that the ball delivered on its claims of being long. Thanks for the thorough review!

  4. Duff Myercord says:

    I got a couple of dozen and was amazed that this ball is longer than my regular ball. Additionally, I play with a partner regularly. We have always wanted to have a regular threesome…..as advertised, Foo-King-Long helped our chances and we now have a regular threesome! Thanks Foo-King-Long!

  5. Marco Jorge says:

    I like the sound of this ball, i wonder if they ship internationally?

  6. Lefty says:

    this is going to make a hilarious x-mas gift.

  7. G says:

    I was going to buy some ProV’s with “this is not your ball” stamped on them as Christmas gifts but now I have to get these for my golf buds.

  8. Golfingcop says:

    I’ve been to a restaurant in San Jose, CA called Fuk-yu. I wonder if there’s any relation? LOL.

  9. Gofnut159 says:

    I agree with “G” who posted earlier. I was going to buy my buddies some ProV’s for Christmas, but the Foo balls are going to be an even better and funnier gift for them.

    I’m not sure if they will hit them any further, but they will be laughing their butts off when they open them up for Christmas.

  10. v3.0 says:

    That second section (the legend) was a ‘riot’: Well done!

  11. Dane says:

    Ummmm! These things really work! My friends were amazed. Glad I am the only one that has them in my foursome! Lol! Ha hahahahahahah! mu la hahahahahaha!

  12. Kari says:

    My uncle told me about these, he lives in Wimberly, TX. He gave me one to give to my boyfriend here in Arizona. He hit a 298 yard drive and all of his friends were like, WTF? So he and his cousin ordered 4 dozen. They love them!! I’m from Oklahoma too,where I believe these are made. Nice job!!

  13. William says:

    I am 70 yrs old the 3 other guys are all 16 to 30 yrs younger than me. This past sunday I was past them by at least 15 to 20 yards. Thanks Foo.

  14. Jd mayfield says:

    I hit my first hole in one with this ball. I drive at least 15 yards longer compared to prov1x. the ball is hard to check while chipping and pitching. Overall I enjoy playing it.

  15. Jack says:

    I purchased a box and have not regretted it. It is noticeably longer (distance varies depending on flush vs. non-flush strikes, of course) as I approached distances off my drive never before reached. I don’t always hit the fairways and because these balls are long, I am looking forward to ordering a new box, maybe two. As mentioned in the article, the box writings are hilarious and part of the reason I’m buying more is I inadvertently threw away all the boxes now that I’m down to my last few foo-king-longs. Want to keep the empties for nostalgia’s sake.

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