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Father/Son...Need Advice

PUZOFAN

PUZOFAN

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Getting ready to play in my first Father/Son Tourney (Fathers Day Weekend). My son is 14 and we get along great.....except on the course. For some reason, we can't seem to pull it together when we play golf with each other.
Both of our games seem to fall apart. Need advice to make it a memorable weekend. We don't get upset with each other, but we can't seem to play well together. Either we both hit a good shot, or we both blow it at the same time.
I am about a 17 handicap and he is a beginner. When I am by myself and playing with good players I can throw up a respectable score, but when I play with him, I fall apart. Help, it is coming soon.
 
Just relax and have a good time. Don't put pressure on the day or your game.
 
PUZOFAN said:
Getting ready to play in my first Father/Son Tourney (Fathers Day Weekend). My son is 14 and we get along great.....except on the course. For some reason, we can't seem to pull it together when we play golf with each other.
Both of our games seem to fall apart. Need advice to make it a memorable weekend. We don't get upset with each other, but we can't seem to play well together. Either we both hit a good shot, or we both blow it at the same time.
I am about a 17 handicap and he is a beginner. When I am by myself and playing with good players I can throw up a respectable score, but when I play with him, I fall apart. Help, it is coming soon.
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Just play your best and enjoy your time with your son.

If that's not sufficient for you, then perhaps you and your son should have an honest talk and see if there are any "passive aggressive" issues between the two of you that's causing this erratic golf performance when you both play as a team.
 
honestly i think if you go out and just try to have a good time and don't worry about your scoring and stuff you'll prob shoot a better round. i know when theres a trophy on the line at a scramble or tourney i turn into someone that i normally am not when i am playing a fun round im very competitive and i want to win. and i usually don't play my best golf. now i really try to just have fun and i usually score better and have a better chance of winning... id especially try to have fun if my son was just learning and try to help him get better and learn from the experience. Good Luck i wish i would have played more with my pops when he played.
 
Enjoy your time with your son, priority one. Posting a score, priority two. If option two is failing, see priority one.

I know, it's a stock answer, but if you both show up to the course grinding before you even tee a ball, you are in for a long day. Keep the mood light the day before and heading to the course. Maybe don't even discuss the outing. I guarantee, the pressure/frustrations you are feeling, he is experiencing just as bad.


Wandering the earth like Kane from Kung Fu, Tapatalking on an iPhone.
 
Dude that is such an amazing opportunity to play with your son. There are for more important things in life than letting the game of golf not be something to enjoy with your son. I never had the opportunity to play with my dad, but in the short experience I have from playing the game, I can say since none of us are training for the tour, the primary goal should be to have fun.

Look at it in the sense you are blessed to have the opportunity with good health and living to enjoy this experience with your son! Have fun :D
 
I've never been a father, but I have been in his shoes. There is always a strong urge to impress your dad. I have a great relationship with my dad, and am fully aware he didn't care if I score well or not, but nonetheless I always want to play well in front of him.

Tapin for bird
 
Golf is as much mental as it is technique. Just relax and swing nice and easy also don't try to be a hero just play conservatively and enjoy your father son time. It's easier to manage the course stress when you don't show that you are stressed out during the round.
 
Don't sweat it, he is a young beginner and you are a 17 handicapper, there is plenty of time for both of you guys to work on your game and get better together. For now focus on supporting each other and having fun, don't make the competition a bigger deal than it truly is. Have fun and there will be more opportunities to play and be competitive.
 
I have had a few issues while playing with my son (17), but only because I forgot one of the things my father taught me. Namely, only give advice when it's asked for, or you really know the person well, and even then, it should be applied very sparingly. I wasn't pushy or demanding with him, just hovering too much wanting to help him succeed. I'm sure now that at times it probably wasn't even fun for him due to my constant instructions. We just had a father/son golf outing as part of his grad activities, and I decided to treat him like I would any other playing partner, especially about the above. Neither of us played well, but had a great time, with plans to do it again in the near future.
 
Great post...congrats to you for getting the opportunity to play with your son at such a young age. I agree with the others, good time with son - #1, good score - #2. Relax. Enjoy. You say that your blow up holes usually happen at the same time. Try something different. If your son gets into trouble off the tee, use the 3 wood or even a 4 iron to get off the tee and into play. Play for the par/bogey as you know your son is going to post something high on the hole. Same goes the other way around if he's willing to get the driver out of hands. Ha! In the tournaments/scrambles I've played in, having a good plan of attack with my partner going into the round faired us much better than trying to devise on out on the course.

Enjoy!
 
If he is just beggining don't pressure him and constantly give advice. Encourage his good shots step back and just let him hit the ball focus on your own shots if things get stressful talk about another comon intrest nhl finals nba finals crack a few jokes and have a common ground. He also needs to keep resonable expectaions about his game as a begginer lots of bad shots are going to happen he needs to remember that a round in the 70's is not going to happen at this stage of his golf devlopment. Have fun good luck to you both and let us know how it goes.
 
BamBooBender said:
I have had a few issues while playing with my son (17), but only because I forgot one of the things my father taught me. Namely, only give advice when it's asked for, or you really know the person well, and even then, it should be applied very sparingly. I wasn't pushy or demanding with him, just hovering too much wanting to help him succeed. I'm sure now that at times it probably wasn't even fun for him due to my constant instructions. We just had a father/son golf outing as part of his grad activities, and I decided to treat him like I would any other playing partner, especially about the above. Neither of us played well, but had a great time, with plans to do it again in the near future.
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Great advice everyone, but I think BamBoo brought it home for me. I need to keep my mouth shut unless he asks. I think I will keep my driver in my bag as well.
 
My son (13) gets very frustrated when he makes a bad shot. I used to allow it to get me down, no I do one of two things when he starts to breakdown. I leave him alone and don't talk to him or I ask him to sit out a few holes until he has it back under control. For me I've had to work hard to not allow up to get me down. Granted in a tourney you will not able to ask him to sit out.

My son has been better about getting it back under control as I suspect your son will as well if you do not feed off his bad vibe.
 
IMO, the difficult issue when playing in a partner type event is that a golfer can very easily put too much pressure on themselves. A shot that would be acceptable when playing as a single, for someone now becomes unacceptable, because you have a playing partner. We want to hit the great shot every time to prove to our partner that we are worthy. You just have to play your own game, and be fully committed to each shot.

As a 17 and a beginner, ask yourself what a good score is? Is it par? Is it bogey? If, realistically, it is bogey, then make that "your par". You goal would then be to be able to have a 2 putt for "your par" on every hole.

And, NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR A BAD SHOT!!!! Everybody hits them. Just go try to hit the next shot better.
 
PUZOFAN said:
Great advice everyone, but I think BamBoo brought it home for me. I need to keep my mouth shut unless he asks. I think I will keep my driver in my bag as well.
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Glad I could be of some help. I wasn't sure that was the issue here, but thought I'd throw it out there anyway. Hope yall have great time.
 
I'd just try to get as many rounds in as possible. You guys will find your stride. Probably some pressure on both sides and playing some ought to break it.
 
One of my biggest issues seems to be time. By the time I get off of work, we barely have time to get nine holes in. So that means no warm up. It takes me about three holes to shake off work and loosen my muscles. Before the tourney I plan to hit some balls before playing.
 
Just enjoy spending time together, golf days with your son/dad are the best days. Also remember the worst day on the course is still better than your best day at work
 
Well we made it through and had a great time this weekend. Yesterday we went 41-47 and today 43-46. My son said he could play in a tournament every weekend. Thanks for all the advice folks.
 
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