When Life Rears Back and Kicks You In The Gonads

Smiter

Dunce Cap For A Bit
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So last weekend, I had the golf time of my life. I left my house around 11am on Thursday, met up with my Roomie (Hoosiermess), my Pardner (djt311), and Vortex for a round at Shale Creek. We played a format likely to be seen in the upcoming THP Bridgestone Championship and ended 18 A/S. Good food and drink followed meeting up with more folks about to embark on our journey.

Played at Fox Meadow as Pkorf‘s guests on Friday, only missing Pete379 to have the full contingent of THPer’s that were playing in the THP Bridgestone Championship. Again, followed by more good food and drink.

Then we embarked on the most awesome thing most of us amateur golfers will ever be offered. Playing in an event and feeling like a celebrity the entire time. THP and Bridgestone were awesome hosts and it was a great time. Sometime along the way I forgot how to golf (sorry Pardner!) but still had the time of my life. I can’t thank THP and Bridgestone enough.

In the meantime things at home had been less than stellar for quite some time. I have an illness that I haven’t disclosed to most, and certainly not to my family. I suppose that may have been a mistake in retrospect but I didn’t want any of my kids worrying about me if I can pull through with little to no issues (a decent probability). My oldest boy is a worrier and he’d likely struggle with it. So I said nothing. Meds I’m on have made me even more absent minded and forgetful, and I very recently realized that drinking alcohol in any amount just exacerbates that effect.

Anyways, I’m returning home Sunday and I pull into the drive. The garage door is closed, which was a bit uncommon given my kids are in and out of the house all day during the summer and we usually leave it open. No biggie, I thought maybe my wife went somewhere. My garage door opener doesn’t work so I went to the front door expecting my little doggie to be going nuts. Nothing.

I walked into the foyer, took a couple steps, and just about died right then. There is nothing in my house. No wife, no kids, no dog, almost no furniture. Huge mess everywhere, but very little else. WTF?

Went three days with no contact with my kids (my wife cut their number off from me and mine from them). I pretty much knew what had happened and at least in Ohio, absent a court order, what happened was kidnapping. A felony of the first degree. Times 3. And she took my dog! That’s just cold. Sometime day 2-3ish she reached out to a family member to have them tell me what happened. She packed up, took my house as a giant free flea market, and moved out with the kids and dogs. I actually called the sheriffs department and was explaining to them that I just wanted something on file Tuesday(ish?) and told them my plight. They asked if I wanted to report it and and I said yes but I didn’t want it acted on. The person I spoke with told me that if I reported it they were under obligation to issue an amber alert and they would find her and arrest her. I didn’t want that, I want what’s best for my kids so I promptly told them never mind at that point.

Since then I have seen my kids (and my little doggie). She still won’t tell me where they live, also illegal, but whatever. I get why as everything is in my name. I could go and pick up my car that she drives tomorrow and sell it for roughly a 9k gain. The other vehicles are in my name too but I have control of them. House is in my name. I do understand that half of marital property belongs to each but her car would retail for 14k or so, good luck finding it for 4500. That and she cleaned out almost everything of value from inside the house already. I don’t care, I want my boys to be ok. That’s it.

This is getting too long to read, but I wanted to talk this out. I don’t know where this goes from here. I don’t care, just so long as my kids are taken care of. I’m not sure she’s capable of that, but I’ll give her that chance. I also have every intention of honoring my commitments to reviewing the Bridgestone gear, but golf is about the furthest thing from my mind right now. I’ll chime in when I can but right now Life is getting in the way.

So I’m sorry if I’m not being real active right now when I should be. I truly appreciate what THP and Bridgestone have done for me. Life is currently in the way and once it’s straightened out some I’ll be more active.
 
Jesus, that is rough. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
 
Best of luck with everything.
 
Wow, man, that is unbelievably rough. I'm sorry you are going through it.
 
Can't imagine man, sorry you're going thru this. I definitely wish you the best and hope things start picking up.

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Oof that's unimaginable! Good luck navigating everything, but mostly I hope your kids are all OK.
 
Damn. I’m sorry to hear that smiter.
 
Adults can take care of things, you in it for the kids. Stay positive for their sake, so sorry man, best of luck.


***Make sure you have a good attorney so you will have access to your kids****
 
Sorry to hear that Smiter, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I hope things turn around for ya quickly.
 
Wow. Will be praying for you and your boys! I can’t even imagine.


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Good luck navigating through this. Ouch.
 
Yikes dude. Hope everything turns around for ya soon. That’s awful man.
 
Man I'm really sorry to hear about that. I hope you're able to come to some kind of resolution quickly.
 
Damn man, that is absolutely terrible! Praying that things work out the best for you and your kids.

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I don't know man.. I know you want what's best for the kids, but I'm not sure kidnapping (let's be real, that's what that was) is really instilling a good thought in their heads. They'd probably love to know where their dad is, and why they can't see you. That might be worth contacting someone who could contact her, and see what you can do to put that thought in her head a bit.

Well that, and maybe call from a different number and see how far you get?
 
I'd speak to a lawyer for advice, if possible.

By not filing a report against her, I'm wondering if down the road Family Court may allow her to turn the tables as to (as ridiculous as it sounds) abandonment on your part. Yes she left but absent verifiable documentation as to your disagreement with her actions and irrefutable attempts to retrieve your kids, who knows?

If custody of the kids may be a future battle that you may face, I'd seek the advice of an expert now so you may be better prepared for the unexpected.

I can only speak to my experience in NY. There, all she'd have to do is articulate (even making it up) that you are/were a danger to her and/or the kids and the benefit of the doubt would slide immediately to her favor. Domestic Incident reports would be filed, criminal complaint reports if necessary, child welfare would be notified. Ultimately, absent of an agreement between the parents, family court would hear the case and decide temporary custody.
 
Thinking of the kids first and everyones health.....hope it all works out man.
 
Sorry to hear you are going through this man. Hoping everything will get worked out in the end. Hopefully everyone can put the kids first and you and her can come to a good resolution.

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Sorry to hear that. Can't say I've ever been in that position from the husband point of view, but I've experienced much of that as a kid.

If you ever need to chat, PM me a number. I'm available 24/7.

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Unimaginable! Sorry to hear that you're going through this. Hope it will all work out. Hang in there.

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OMG! I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you get some answers soon.

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Good luck getting through this. I hope your kids will be okay.
 
Hoping everything is looking up for you in the near future, Smiter.
 
Thanks all. It’s been a tough week.

For those wondering I do have an appt Tuesday AM with an attorney. I’d hope to avoid using him, but if it comes down to it, I snagged the best in town first.

I appreciate the support though, that’s for sure.

I couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger on filing the police report since they would investigate and then it would be up to the law director to press charges. May or may not have happened but if it did it sure wouldn’t have been in the kids best interests.

I just had my first conversation with her since this happened and I think my hopes of anything being amicable just went out the window. I was calm and measured but I guess I didn’t realize how much she hated me just for being me. I’m far from perfect (look up my posts,-I’ll generally rat myself out when I jack something up), but I’ve never ever been in any way abusive to any of them. I love my kids more than anything and mainly just miss them. I did at least get to see them, they spent the night in my big empty house last night and left around 2 today.

I really hate this.
 
I hate it for you. As someone who has litigated far too many of this type case, and seen what it does to kids most every time, this sucks big time. My experience has been that the kids will assume they did something wrong. I know you know this but I’ll say it anyway - kids are not bargaining chips and aren’t leverage. Don’t put them in the middle. Talk to your kids and let then know it’s not their fault in any shape, form or fashion and that you love them no matter what. The rest of this deal will play out one way or another.
 
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