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When Life Rears Back and Kicks You In The Gonads

OGputtnfool said:
Sorry to hear that. Can't say I've ever been in that position from the husband point of view, but I've experienced much of that as a kid.

If you ever need to chat, PM me a number. I'm available 24/7.

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I’ll take you up on that, OG. I won’t bug you tonight but I’d really like to hear it from the kids POV. That’s what I’m most concerned about as that’s what’s most important to me. Doing what’s best for them.
 
Parrot said:
I hate it for you. As someone who has litigated far too many of this type case, and seen what it does to kids most every time, this sucks big time. My experience has been that the kids will assume they did something wrong. I know you know this but I’ll say it anyway - kids are bargaining chips and aren’t leverage. Don’t put them in the middle. Talk to your kids and let then know it’s not their fault in any shape, form or fashion and that you love them no matter what. The rest of this deal will play out one way or another.
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Thank you. I made the mistake of speaking with her tonight, first time since before she left. Ugh. When we’d spoke in the past (prior to her leaving) it was always about shared parenting and what’s best for the kids. That doesn’t seem to be as big of a priority to her anymore, as screwing me over seems her number one agenda.

I texted my kids every night, even when I knew they weren’t getting the texts, telling them I’m sorry they’re going through this and that I love and miss them. I hate that they’re going through this. My parents divorced when I was an adult and when they told me, almost 20 years ago, that was the last time I cried as an adult until I got home Sunday. I lived 100 miles from them and was on my own at that point and it still upset me.

Life will go on, but as bad as I feel for me, I feel worse for them. Now I’m left wondering why I didn’t tell everyone what was going on with my health? This may have all been avoided, at least until they were old enough to be on their own. But there’s no going back now. I’ve made that decision and just like hers, it can’t be undone.
 
Smiter said:
Thank you. I made the mistake of speaking with her tonight, first time since before she left. Ugh. When we’d spoke in the past (prior to her leaving) it was always about shared parenting and what’s best for the kids. That doesn’t seem to be as big of a priority to her anymore, as screwing me over seems her number one agenda.

I texted my kids every night, even when I knew they weren’t getting the texts, telling them I’m sorry they’re going through this and that I love and miss them. I hate that they’re going through this. My parents divorced when I was an adult and when they told me, almost 20 years ago, that was the last time I cried as an adult until I got home Sunday. I lived 100 miles from them and was on my own at that point and it still upset me.

Life will go on, but as bad as I feel for me, I feel worse for them. Now I’m left wondering why I didn’t tell everyone what was going on with my health? This may have all been avoided, at least until they were old enough to be on their own. But there’s no going back now. I’ve made that decision and just like hers, it can’t be undone.
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Shoot me a PM if you need another ear to bend. I don’t have many answers but, through life’s experiences, in a lot of cases, I can share with you what makes sh&t worse.
 
Wishing you all the best. You've been given among the toughest hands anyone has to play, but you can get through this.
 
I'm so sorry to hear that Smiter. Saying extra prayers for you and your kids.

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What the hell, that is an absolutely insane situation to be in, so sorry to hear that and I can't even imagine!

As others have said top priority is your boys.. also, be sure to audio record your conversations with her, if/when it goes to court you have evidence you were civil and composed. Ive had clients who had such extreme left field situations that if they just had the evidence they hoped they wouldn't have been in such a mess... But also ask your attorney about the recording thing..

And I believe once you have the attorney on board any and all communication goes thru them.

Thoughts are with ya, hope you can keep yourself busy and occupied so racing mind doesn't get the best of you!

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greekelite said:
What the hell, that is an absolutely insane situation to be in, so sorry to hear that and I can't even imagine!

As others have said top priority is your boys.. also, be sure to audio record your conversations with her, if/when it goes to court you have evidence you were civil and composed. Ive had clients who had such extreme left field situations that if they just had the evidence they hoped they wouldn't have been in such a mess... But also ask your attorney about the recording thing..

And I believe once you have the attorney on board any and all communication goes thru them.

Thoughts are with ya, hope you can keep yourself busy and occupied so racing mind doesn't get the best of you!

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I know from some of my responses here it’s probably difficult to imagine that I’ve remained pretty calm, but I really have. It became heated a little on the phone when she said I can’t have the boys over Wednesday because it wasn’t convenient for her. Her response was, “I don’t want you to know where I live”. My reply to her was that it wasn’t lawful for her to deny me knowing where my kids lived, but I wasn’t a jerk about it. I offered to pick them up and it was still a NO!

I’d love to record every conversation but I’m 99.9% sure at least here in Ohio that it’s a felony to record a phone conversation without the others knowledge. At the very least it wouldn’t be admissible (because my attorney would tell me it’s a crime:)). So no point there, although I wish there was.

I find it interesting that I’m the one accused of all the wrongdoing, yet she’s the one that is actually doing it.

But again, don’t care. I want my boys to get through this as whole as possible.

Her stated reason is that she doesn’t want me to pick up my car that she drives and take off with it. Never mind the fact that I know where she works and if I wanted to do that I’d have already done so. Probably should even, since she’s screwed me over every chance she can get. But I’m not going to because that wouldn’t benefit my boys. There may come a time for that, but for now I’m just trying to remain calm even though the dumpster fire is less than a stones throw away.
 
What a tough situation. I can’t really offer any good advice. I just wanted to wish you the best working through this awful time.


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Sorry to hear Smiter. Best of luck with everything.
 
My God. That's awful! Please lean on THP. Take care.
 
Hang in there dude. Things have a way of working themselves out.
 
Wow. Sorry to hear about all of this and what you are going through. I think it’s going to be important for you to speak with the attorney and listen to what he or she has to say.

Best of luck my friend.
 
Damn man. Easier said than done but keep your head up.

I know you mentioned the equipment and such from the event but THP will always be here. Life comes first man, take care of that first.
 
I'm sorry that you're going through this, I cannot imagine how you're feeling nor can I offer any advice from life experiences. All I can say is that I hope everything works out in the end buddy.
 
Hoping for the best for you. But like others have said - please take care of yourself.
 
This totally sucks. But the one glimmer of hope in there is that you got the kids for at least one night so far. Definitely do everything through the attorney. You don't want to make anything worse, even if accidentally.
 
Sorry to hear this man. Good luck going forward, hope the best
 
Smiter said:
I’d love to record every conversation but I’m 99.9% sure at least here in Ohio that it’s a felony to record a phone conversation without the others knowledge. At the very least it wouldn’t be admissible (because my attorney would tell me it’s a crime:)). So no point there, although I wish there was.
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Feel free to run it by your attorney, but if this is current, I think you're in the clear.

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Wow... Thoughts go out to you during this life changing situation.

Keep your head up and keep fighting the good fight for your kids. Best wishes...


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Sorry for the shock, your handling it better than most...when life gets tough smile...the good is coming. Their will be a silver lining, just be patient and excel at other things you can around you...keep busy, stay around good people, volunteer, run a tied day for a good nites sleep.
 
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I don't have words. I am truly and deeply sorry for this turn of events. Just keep in mind, this will all work out. You will get through this. You will have a life with your kids. It will get better.
 
No words. Just hope you get through this ok man.


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Sorry to hear this Smiter. I've been through something similar.

It will get better. You can't see that now but must trust this.
 
Keep your head up Smiter!
 
Smiter, wishing the best for you. Kick in the gonads doesn't come close to what you're going through.

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