We've launched the new forums! Read more here

Golf or your Spouse

jhtr20 said:
I won't ever have this decision with my current wife. Married 35+ and dated 7 before marriage. She likes watching, going to tournaments and occasionally playing golf. How lucky is that?
Click to expand...

You are a lucky and blessed man.
 
I love my wife a lot, but part of what I love about her is that we both support each other in our passions and work. She would never say that, but if she did I would. I nearly gave it up for 12 years to raise our children anyway. I got down to playing about 2 or 3 times a year outside of my golf trip just for them. Now my son is 14 and my daughter is 10 so they don't require constant attention and I have time for golf.
 
I really really love golf but could never choose it over my wife and family.

Sent from my SM-T817V using Tapatalk
 
Since the kids are grown and gone away, she would end up alone if that demand was made. Not because of the golf, because of the demand.

If they were still young then I would feel differently, but as others have said the fact anyone would demand such a thing is indicative of much larger issues.
 
As long as my golf time and money wasn't placing unfair and unreasonable stress and neglect on responsibilities and obligations I would never put up with the ultimatum. I would just say , Im playing golf and you can leave if you want. The choice is yours.

I love my wife dearly and love her more and more as the years pass. And I respect my wife. But if she is going to ever give me an ultimatum just for sake of control with no valid reasoning, then that would be her choice to make, not mine.

You see.....giving in to demand like that one just for sake of control is going to end a marriage anyway because soon as that happens she would lose all respect for you anyway. And once that happens you will spend the rest of your life walking in eggshells and youll never get any respect. The marriage for all purposes is then imo dead whether it technically is or not.
 
My wife would never do that and I'd not put her in a position where she would even feel the desire to make such a request. I can see plausible situations where she might need me and it's no contest. I'll choose my wife any day or every day.
 
True life sometimes hits these hypotheticals....

This wasn’t my ultimatum because I was never given one. What did happen is I left for a THP event in early July and she took the opportunity of me being gone for a few days to move her and the kids (and pretty much all of my possessions) out.

Good riddance to her but the kids are another matter entirely. Throw in that she left me basically nothing but the junk, it was not a fun return.

So if she had said “it’s me or the golf!” I’d have chosen golf, duh. Hell, I offered to help her move in the past if she decided to. This was her one chance to hurt me and screw me over and I’ve gotta say, she did a great job of it. I’m not going to pretend I’m perfect, I’m far from it. But whatever narrative she told the kids, she had them drinking the kool-aid for a little while. I refuse and will forever refuse to bad mouth her to the kids. At the end of the day she’s their mom and nothing will ever change that and I want them to have a good relationship with her.

Whatever narrative was told to them of me is being forgotten as they mainly want to be around me now. I haven’t asked, and truly don’t want to know. Quite frankly it would just piss me off and I don’t need that. They know that I’ve always been there for them and always will be. They’re also old enough to know deep down that she’s always been there for her and only always will be. I hope she steps up for their sake. I don’t know if she’s capable of it long term, but I hope she is.

But.... if her goal was to get me to play less/no golf, mission accomplished. I haven’t played since I came home from the THP event. I’ve been to the range twice with the kids. Normally I’d have a dozen rounds logged this time of year since then.

To the positive.... I’ve always envisioned a Sim built in the master suite here. That was her domain when she lived here. With the vaulted ceiling in there, it’s perfect for it. Until I see how this ends, I won’t spend the $$ for it (I need to see how this shakes out first) but I have a plan for it laid out provided I don’t have to fork out too much to her.

Ha! Throw out a hypothetical and get a real time real world response. I’d have given up golf for my kids if it came down to it, but I wouldn’t give up the shaft band on my 6i for her. Hell, I wouldn’t even give up the broken tee I found and then used and then discarded without looking for it on a par 3 for her. I’d rather play 30 minute holes (and some of you know how much I enjoy that:)) than spend 30 seconds with her.

I guess I might not be a good control for this experiment though.
 
If she were the type to put that question to me she would have never qualified to be wifey

But for the sake of answering, think I'd say I have to give up the game as I'm just slightly more than a casual golfer

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
 
These threads make a lot more sense now. Sorry tenputt.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
These threads make a lot more sense now. Sorry tenputt.
 
My wife would never ask me to give up the game. She knows I love it too much. If she did, I fear that our relationship wouldn’t be the same. Marriage is about understanding. I don’t think any spouse that truly loves their significant other would ask them to give up something they truly adore.
Perhaps a question of less golf or golf commitment time is more reasonable.
 
It's sad to see these posts but I understand them.
 
Clearly married the wrong person
 
Talk about killing two birds with one stone ‍♂️ And yes I'm divorced and play golf 4X a week and incredibly happy
 
Easy one, my spouse. Of course, my wife has no problem with me playing golf 4-5 days a week while she goes to work so I'm likely the least likely person on the THP forum to deal with that ultimatum. :act-up:
 
My wife and best friend, no doubt. But of late she's encouraging me to play more and more. I wish she played.

Reminds me of two stories. One is the old Jack Benny bit in which a guy pulls a gun on him and says, "Your money or your life!" After a few seconds of silence, the robber jabs him with the gun and says, "Well?" Benny replies, "I'm THINKING! I'm THINKING!"

The second is about Billy Tubbs, former basketball coach at Oklahoma (Jman will correct me if I am wrong.) He said, "My wife came up to me yesterday and said, 'Billy, sometimes I think you love basketball more than you love me.' And I said, 'But I love you more than track and field.'"
 
Jman;n8637302 said:
Is this even a question?

Family over everything. Always.
Click to expand...

Definitely this. Of course, if I'm doing my job as a father and a husband this hypothetical situation would never be a reality.
 
Best decision was a friend of hers inviting her to golf at a ladies night of golf. My wife caught the bug and I make sure she gets something new every 3 years to keep her excited. Today, she plays weekday mornings (while I work) in no pressure fun golf on average 3 or 4 times a week, usually 9 holes or the occasional 18 depending on how she feels. Since then, I have never had pushback when I want to play golf so haven’t faced the ultimatum although before she played it was getting dicey as I wanted to take my game to another level.
 
If I had to choose it would be my wife, but considering she plays golf as well, that isn't likely to happen

In fact, sometimes she plays more golf than me as she only works 4 days a week and will often go to the club on her day off whilst I am working
 
No brainier, the spouse.
 
Tenputt;n117066 said:
If your spouse/significant other said you must give up golf or I will divorce/leave you, would you give up the game?
Click to expand...

Yes, I'd just go fishing more.
 
If you even have to ask... golf.

Your spouse shouldn’t be putting you in a positions where you have to choose things. It’s not like being addicted to a drug or booze. It’s exercise, it’s normal social relationships etc.

I struggled with this when my wife and I first met. Granted, she couldn’t wrap her head around why I played 6 days a week and watched golf channel all day.

Maybe I took it too far.

Love my wife though, she’s awesome and as we matured as a couple she’s cooled off with the golf as a negative thing. We met at 22, you change with time.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
My gf keeps asking me when we are going to play . Taken her a handful of times to the range and from the first time she’s fallen in love with the game more and more. Looking to buy her a set of her own so she doesn’t have to use mine as they are a little heavy for her. Do not want to start her swing off on a bad note.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top