Golf or your Spouse

[Mmaynard11]

I think someone was trying to get some of us in trouble with our responses on this thread.:glasses-nerdy: Hahahaha...my response is family always come first...not to mention my wife would rather have me out of the house.

 

[Drumdog]

If a spouse is that controlling to give an ultimatum like that, I want no part of that relationship.

Fortunately for me, my wife says things like..."take me golfing or lose me forever" ! :banana:

 

[dduarte85]

I think someone was trying to get some of us in trouble with our responses on this thread.:glasses-nerdy: Hahahaha...my response is family always come first...not to mention my wife would rather have me out of the house.

My only caveat is that family comes first when appropriate ... as in if you have small kids and a tight financial landscape you shouldn’t be taking trips to Pebble.

However, if playing golf with your buddies at the local muni has zero financial impact and rather it’s a spouse who doesn’t like you away from her / the family that’s where it crosses the line for me. At that point, you’re in an unhealthy relationship.


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[SouthernShred]

Is this even a question?

Family over everything. Always.

100%. Regardless.

 

[SHIFTY]

I drop like 30lbs every summer walking for golf, so I'd probably never leave the couch after this. Could be a big guy after a few years, lol

 

[Campbell Toe]

I’m going to have to think about this one...


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[Stryker]

No doubt in my mind family first. My wife would not do that either although she might get mad from time to time about how much I play. I typically play during the day while she is at work and she never knows I was on the course most of the time though. When I do play weekends, I usually take her and my 3.5 year old son with me for the front nine. We drive separately because 9 is about all he can handle before he starts getting tired and after they leave I play the back 9 alone. I love having them with me for these outings because it allows me to both play and spend time with them. The best part is most of the time we are out there because my little boy is begging us to take him. I can't tell you how much I enjoy watching that little fart with his little tiny wedge(still to big for him) and little putter(also too big still) go out and have a blast. This was the main reason I started playing to begin with. I was hoping it would be something he would enjoy and we could do together as he and I both get older. I don't teach him any swing stuff. I only teach him etiquette things for now though. He is still too little and young for instruction in my opinion.

Anyway, yeah family is what got me in to golf to begin with and if the wife said her or golf it would be her every time but she is not going to do that.

 

[Mmaynard11]

My only caveat is that family comes first when appropriate ... as in if you have small kids and a tight financial landscape you shouldn’t be taking trips to Pebble.

However, if playing golf with your buddies at the local muni has zero financial impact and rather it’s a spouse who doesn’t like you away from her / the family that’s where it crosses the line for me. At that point, you’re in an unhealthy relationship.


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Totally agree and luckily I’ll never have to be put in that position where those decisions need to be made.

 

[WMac19]

I asked my wife if she'd choose me over the Hallmark Channel.

...said that she'll get back to me on that.

 

[Badger_Golfer]

Id help her pack her bag and show her the door. If golf is something that you love and you arent neglecting your signifigant other or spending all your money on golf to where you cant afford to pay the bills; theres no reason to give up golf and anyone who would expect you give it up, "just because" doesnt really love you anyways.

 

[shmelton]

Such ultimatums are indicative of other issues in the marriage.

Agreed...I would examine why she gave me the ultimatum, 1st. Do some soul searching, and make the decision with a clear head.

I would quit golf tomorrow if it was causing family problems or marital issues. But my guess is golf is not the problem, golf is a way to get away from the issues.

A client of mine told me just yesterday. That he used to play golf 4 days a week. He couldn’t wait to leave work, and go to the golf course during the week because he work with his wife. He couldn’t wait to get to the golf course on the weekends because his wife was home. He moved out 2 yrs ago, and is divorced now, and has played golf 4 times since he moved out. He said he doesn’t miss it at all. He actually loves being at home piddling around it just relaxing.

I don’t think golf is ever the problem. Something else is causing one to stay away.


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[GolferGal]

I feel like this would have to be situation based. If your spouse is trying to be controlling and doesn't want you to have any activities that don't involve them, then I would have to thin long and hard about that relationship. Now, if you are spending all your free time and all your family income on golf, than I side with the spouse on this one. It really all depends.

 

[Smiter]

Definitely this. Of course, if I'm doing my job as a father and a husband this hypothetical situation would never be a reality.

Not necessarily. My wife of 16 years just left and while I have my share of personality defects, I have always provided well for all and never been abusive in any shape or form.

My situation boils down to clinical depression of the highest level for her. I’ve been the scapegoat “I’d be sooo happy if it wasn’t for you” type situations. Even though I’ve NEVER mistreated her. It was easier for her to have me as a scapegoat for everything that was wrong with the world rather then deal with her depression.

Sometimes there is absolutely nothing that that you can do to save a situation and that’s where we were.

 

[wubears71]

Divorce - we would have some serious issues in our relationship if she ever asked me to quit golf.

 

[rlefig]

It is always fun to go golfing with wife too

 

[MrMom]

Not necessarily. My wife of 16 years just left and while I have my share of personality defects, I have always provided well for all and never been abusive in any shape or form.

My situation boils down to clinical depression of the highest level for her. I’ve been the scapegoat “I’d be sooo happy if it wasn’t for you” type situations. Even though I’ve NEVER mistreated her. It was easier for her to have me as a scapegoat for everything that was wrong with the world rather then deal with her depression.

Sometimes there is absolutely nothing that that you can do to save a situation and that’s where we were.

You're absolutely right, Smiter. I made some pretty hefty assumptions when answering this thread and I see how wrong and potentially insensitive my response was. A far-fetched hypothetical situation for one might be much closer to reality for others. I didn't consider that. Apologies to you and anyone else I offended.

 

[Big SoIL]

Is this even a question?

Family over everything. Always.

Absolutely agree. I’m very confident I’ll never have to make that decision though.

 

[dduarte85]

No doubt in my mind family first. My wife would not do that either although she might get mad from time to time about how much I play. I typically play during the day while she is at work and she never knows I was on the course most of the time though. When I do play weekends, I usually take her and my 3.5 year old son with me for the front nine. We drive separately because 9 is about all he can handle before he starts getting tired and after they leave I play the back 9 alone. I love having them with me for these outings because it allows me to both play and spend time with them. The best part is most of the time we are out there because my little boy is begging us to take him. I can't tell you how much I enjoy watching that little fart with his little tiny wedge(still to big for him) and little putter(also too big still) go out and have a blast. This was the main reason I started playing to begin with. I was hoping it would be something he would enjoy and we could do together as he and I both get older. I don't teach him any swing stuff. I only teach him etiquette things for now though. He is still too little and young for instruction in my opinion.

Anyway, yeah family is what got me in to golf to begin with and if the wife said her or golf it would be her every time but she is not going to do that.

My home course sucks in this respect... anyone on course MUST be playing... so no partners, caddies, kids etc... period. I saw a guy get turned around because he made a tee time for a single (his 16 year old son) and was not allowed on the course. He was PISSED


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[Smiter]

You're absolutely right, Smiter. I made some pretty hefty assumptions when answering this thread and I see how wrong and potentially insensitive my response was. A far-fetched hypothetical situation for one might be much closer to reality for others. I didn't consider that. Apologies to you and anyone else I offended.

No worries on my end. Blanket statements sometimes don’t always apply. I didn’t take it as insensitive, just not applicable to my situation.