Who thinks they’re better than they really are? You or your playing partner?

Et Tu Brute?;n8886603 said:
I play about three times a week and most of the guys I play with play even more often than I do. It would be really hard for us to have an unrealistically dreamy view of our own games. That's just too many rounds, too many scores in the computer to have any illusions.

Ever heard "The Golfer's Prayer"? Please lord, just this once let me play my usual game.

Good point... but how many people are satisfied with their regular game? How many of those people “mentally” believe they are better despite the physical evidence on the course? And should we believe we are better- how large a role does confidence play?


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Sox_Fan;n8886997 said:
Actually my normal playing partner thinks that I am better than I am. I have come to expect that about a third of the holes during a round I am going to hit one of more far less than desireable shot that will likely result in a bogey. If I could avoid it I certainly would but it is just a case of being a decent amateur golfer.

I understand tempering expectations some of the time to make the round more enjoyable....However do you believe it is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy by mentally sabotaging ourselves to expect to make bogey 33% of the time?


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I'll say my playing partner. Since most of my rounds played with a partner who is not a stranger I got paired up with randomly are with my son, I'll use him for this scenario. If anything, I think my problem is with self-confidence and feeling comfortable in my skin when playing well. Seems I always drop a triple or worse to even things out when I'm on a roll. My kid, on the other hand, feels like he should shoot a personal best every time out. He's doing better with it lately, but it used to be a really bad thing for him mentally. He'd get behind the 8 ball early and never give himself a chance to work out of it. I should watch my back, though, because it won't be long until he's beating me routinely.
 
I believe I am better than what my score dictates, but I think it's due to my lack of playing as often as I used to, along with some course management. I see glimpses of my potential during a round after a few good holes, or when I play rounds in a row or close together, I tend to get better each time.
 
Jman;n8886999 said:
Usually my playing partners. I'm one who probably should have more confidence in my game than I do.

Is there a reason you choose to be less confident? Do you start a round with zero expectations? Sometimes I play better with that approach...


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-CRW-;n8887005 said:
I have a friend that believes he's a bogey golfer, but after a foot wedge or two here, a gimme or ten there, and some bad math he should end up with more like a 105-110. But we never play for money, so I don't really care.

My son is the opposite and thinks he's not as good as he really is. He gets upset when he misses a fairway or green, or when he misses a mid-range birdie putt. My wife thinks he does it to a fault, but I think it's part of his drive to continue to get better. I don't want to suppress those emotions so much that he doesn't care. My solution was to show him the tour averages, proximity to the hole from different distances, etc. to see where he needs the most work or where he's doing fine.

I like your approach with your son. There’s a breaking point there where if not mentally harnessed, disillusionment can set in and destroy desire. Speaking of the tour, although driver length has been sensationalized (and I’m not discounting it)...I’ve realized in the past few years how much driver accuracy and short game really matters. These guys aren’t robots...It’s rare for a single pro to hit every fairway within a round. We all don’t have the ability to hit it far but we have clubs in the bag that we can hit straight and we can continually improve our short game to cut strokes....


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Jrt13;n8887073 said:
Is there a reason you choose to be less confident? Do you start a round with zero expectations? Sometimes I play better with that approach...


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Just not one to talk my own game up.

Unless I'm provoked. haha
 
OGputtnfool;n8887063 said:
I'll say my playing partner. Since most of my rounds played with a partner who is not a stranger I got paired up with randomly are with my son, I'll use him for this scenario. If anything, I think my problem is with self-confidence and feeling comfortable in my skin when playing well. Seems I always drop a triple or worse to even things out when I'm on a roll. My kid, on the other hand, feels like he should shoot a personal best every time out. He's doing better with it lately, but it used to be a really bad thing for him mentally. He'd get behind the 8 ball early and never give himself a chance to work out of it. I should watch my back, though, because it won't be long until he's beating me routinely.

Interesting... When you are playing well, do you get the feeling the proverbial other shoe is going to drop and expect a bad hole? I think what your son is going thru is the true test of growth and discipline... challenging yourself without getting lost on the big picture. For super competitive individuals, It’s hard to let the bad shots go and move on to the next shot.


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BlueHen2006;n8887068 said:
I believe I am better than what my score dictates, but I think it's due to my lack of playing as often as I used to, along with some course management. I see glimpses of my potential during a round after a few good holes, or when I play rounds in a row or close together, I tend to get better each time.

I understand. That’s kinda where I am right now after taking the game up from a long hiatus. Wondering if I can get back to where I was 20 or 25 years ago.


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Jrt13;n8887108 said:
Interesting... When you are playing well, do you get the feeling the proverbial other shoe is going to drop and expect a bad hole? I think what your son is going thru is the true test of growth and discipline... challenging yourself without getting lost on the big picture. For super competitive individuals, It’s hard to let the bad shots go and move on to the next shot.


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I dunno. I think when I'm playing well, I let down my guard and don't put enough effort and attention into the "easy" shots. Ultimately, I'll end up toeing a wedge or blasting a lag putt way past causing a three putt or something along those lines that will derail me.
 
Jrt13;n8886540 said:
Hopefully you won’t be teamed up with him in a handicapped event...


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Yeah..can't have both of us sucking lol. Winning team that does not make...
 
I have confidence in my abilities and a strong desire to improve, so I will no doubt always "think" my game is better than it is. No idea about partners. Unless someone tells me something specifically and in context, I find trying to figure out what other people think is an impossible brain task.
 
Jrt13;n8887062 said:
I understand tempering expectations some of the time to make the round more enjoyable....However do you believe it is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy by mentally sabotaging ourselves to expect to make bogey 33% of the time?


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I probably mis-worded it. I don't go into a round thinking that but I learned not to get upset when it happens. My handicap is stuck in the 5's the majority of the year for a reason. It is not out of desire to make 4 - 7 bogeys per round but with a non-perfect swing and mediocre putting skills it is going to happen. Today I had 5 bogeys and 2 birdies. If I could have putted worth a darn, those could have easily been flipped and I would have shot a 69 instead of a 75. Less than desireable putting has unfortunately always been a curse despite a lot of practice and will to improve.
 
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