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Parenting Thread

Sanzabar said:
This might come off extremely stupid and/or selfish.

For all of the dads/parents on here with two kids.... Did you ever have a thought of not being able to love your second child as much as your 1st? Me and my wife both want another child, but I keep getting the thought of not being able to love another human as much as I do my son. I often get misty eyed thinking about my son not getting all of the attention and him being upset because the baby is getting the attention.

Perhaps I am the only person that thinks like this, but I hope some folks can relate.
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Best part is, think of how much you love your son and how cool that is. Now think of loving two kids like that. It's pretty cool.

Disclaimer: I wouldn't want to love any more than two kids. That's just too much.

It's definitely tough at times, especially when the two don't want to play together. But the majority of the time it's fantastic. It is also super awesome when you get to spend time with each of them and it's just you two. It's cool to experience their differences and all that.
 
Sanzabar said:
This might come off extremely stupid and/or selfish.

For all of the dads/parents on here with two kids.... Did you ever have a thought of not being able to love your second child as much as your 1st? Me and my wife both want another child, but I keep getting the thought of not being able to love another human as much as I do my son. I often get misty eyed thinking about my son not getting all of the attention and him being upset because the baby is getting the attention.

Perhaps I am the only person that thinks like this, but I hope some folks can relate.
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I have three and, have never thought this for a minute. I think giving a child a sibling can be a great gift too, another person who is going to love you no matter what. There will be rough days, weeks and even years but I have never for once second considered a smaller family than we have.

And its not stupid or selfish to consider the things you are talking about.
 
Jman said:
So, this family "riff", for lack of a better term, is killing me.

Lotte is happier than ever before w/ my gma daily, shes on a routine, learning, and is all laughs because she's engaged all day. Plus, my gma is my gma again for the first time since my grandpa passed 9 years ago. So all is good there, I adore it, its well worth the 2+ hours driving each day.

But there is a coldness and almost cut-off feeling coming from the other side now, where Lotte was kept 4 days a week half of last school year and was loved/adored. It was asked if we had day care yet a couple weeks before school started out of nowhere because it was a lot of stress to watch her daily and that was a shock to us, so we got on wait lists, freaked out, and eventually were saved by my gma taking her on to keep her out of daycare. Lotte is happy, but I almost feel guilty that they are missing SO MUCH now, heck its been over 2 weeks now since shes seen them and since then shes taller, babbling nonstop, crawling, standing, and close as all get out to words. This breaks my heart and because shes at my gmas now there is almost an attitude like we cut them off? I don't know. It SUCKS.

Sorry all, I just needed to vent a bit.
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Hang in there buddy, that does suck, we went through that with my mom in law last year, she had my daughter every day before and after, and they both loved it, then she dropped a bomb that she didn't want to do it anymore, so we scrambled to find someone, and we got lucky with a college student who could come over before/after.

I just keep waiting for my in laws to miss the time they had, maybe I'll be wrong.
 
Sanzabar said:
This might come off extremely stupid and/or selfish.

For all of the dads/parents on here with two kids.... Did you ever have a thought of not being able to love your second child as much as your 1st? Me and my wife both want another child, but I keep getting the thought of not being able to love another human as much as I do my son. I often get misty eyed thinking about my son not getting all of the attention and him being upset because the baby is getting the attention.

Perhaps I am the only person that thinks like this, but I hope some folks can relate.
Click to expand...
Your feelings are completely normal.

I worried about that when we were on the cusp of expanding the family. A wise person - maybe our pediatrian or minister - told us something to the effect that we have more love to give than we know. It is like our "pie of love" just gets bigger, so everyone can have a slice. (I know I'm not telling this the right way, but that's the gist of it)

There's no doubt in my mind that I love both of my children equally. I remember not believing that as a child, but as a parent I know it is 1000% true. Sure, you don't have the ability to give #1 the same level of attention. BUT #1 has this whole other person (#2) to give to and get attention from. They will have their own unique relationship completely independent and apart from you and that fills up the gap from what you can no longer give to #1.

Believe me when I say it will all be okay. Stop worrying and go grow that family!
 
Jman said:
So, this family "riff", for lack of a better term, is killing me.

Lotte is happier than ever before w/ my gma daily, shes on a routine, learning, and is all laughs because she's engaged all day. Plus, my gma is my gma again for the first time since my grandpa passed 9 years ago. So all is good there, I adore it, its well worth the 2+ hours driving each day.

But there is a coldness and almost cut-off feeling coming from the other side now, where Lotte was kept 4 days a week half of last school year and was loved/adored. It was asked if we had day care yet a couple weeks before school started out of nowhere because it was a lot of stress to watch her daily and that was a shock to us, so we got on wait lists, freaked out, and eventually were saved by my gma taking her on to keep her out of daycare. Lotte is happy, but I almost feel guilty that they are missing SO MUCH now, heck its been over 2 weeks now since shes seen them and since then shes taller, babbling nonstop, crawling, standing, and close as all get out to words. This breaks my heart and because shes at my gmas now there is almost an attitude like we cut them off? I don't know. It SUCKS.

Sorry all, I just needed to vent a bit.
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Maybe something as simple as calling them up in a few weeks and inviting them out to dinner? Let them see their g/daughter and play with her. I get the feeling you are a more direct person (like myself) but sometimes perhaps the other way is better????
 
UglySwing said:
I bet there is a really good chance he's crying not simply b/c he's going to miss you, but b/c he's actually worried about you, and it makes him sad to think you are the one that's sad.

I remember going away for my first hockey tournament when I was a kid. My mom and sister were out of the country, and my dad couldn't come with me (we were going to be gone for a week or two).

I was heart broken saying goodbye to my dad, and it took everything I had to not cry. I wasn't crying b/c I was going to miss him, but b/c I was sad for him, and thought he'd be lonely.

My little 7 yr old went to Canada and was really sad before leaving. I was staying behind and meeting them up there a week later.

I thought she was crying b/c she was going to miss me. It turns out she felt bad for me (I was looking forward to daily rounds of golf without getting in trouble from my wife).

She made me promise that I would have my best buddy come over and sleep over every night. I lied and told her I would....and just like that, she was totally fine with me staying behind.

You are building a great bond with your son that will last a lifetime. Just talk to him and make sure he knows that you are fine.
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Thanks UglySwing, I hope that is the case. He asks for me to come always maybe he thinks I will be lonely. And yes I am if I had it my way he would live with me. But that cannot happen. We always make the most of our times together and have many great memories and have our own special specials where to go to get away from it all. Cheers

Sent from my SM-G900W8 using Tapatalk
 
Yes Dan!!!
 
Awesome buddy!
 
Canadan said:
Soo... Tutorials for a babyseat on the golf cart, anyone?
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Never done it, but I guarantee you could use one of those ratcheting tie down straps to act like a seat belt to hold it in place.
 
So glad to see this thread pop back up... I need baby proofing advice these little dudes are all over the place haha
 
TheCrest4 said:
So glad to see this thread pop back up... I need baby proofing advice these little dudes are all over the place haha
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Plenty of gates and the magnetic cabinet and drawer locks are nice, doorknob covers. Anchor any heavy shelves, dressers, TVs, etc..
 
moosejaa said:
Plenty of gates and the magnetic cabinet and drawer locks are nice, doorknob covers. Anchor any heavy shelves, dressers, TVs, etc..
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We use the toilet bowl lock as well ... kid would love to play with the water in the bowl if we'd let him (we don't).

My wife gets annoyed when I make the comparison but ... if you have had dogs, you treat your kids the same way. If there is something you really like, or can be broken, or can prove to be a danger ... just like you'd move it out of reach of your pet, move it out of reach of your kid. Same principle really ... they're a danger to themselves, so you need to stay one step ahead of them. Picture frames, glass knick knacks, lamps ... all need to be put out of arms reach. Those kids seem to have go go gadget arms sometimes too ...
 
deuce said:
We use the toilet bowl lock as well ... kid would love to play with the water in the bowl if we'd let him (we don't).
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Lol! We haven't had to worry about that one. That reminds me of the movie where Amy Poehler couldn't figure it out and peed in the sink :)
 
Canadan said:
Soo... Tutorials for a babyseat on the golf cart, anyone?
Click to expand...

drp3434 said:
Never done it, but I guarantee you could use one of those ratcheting tie down straps to act like a seat belt to hold it in place.
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What about just throwing the carrier or the baby in the basket in the back? Some pillows to make it comfortable should work.

Congrats Dan. Life as you know it is over.
 
deuce said:
Congratulations. Welcome to the land of the sleep deprived!
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Yes congrats and good luck with that sleeping the next few months. More sleep deprivation comes later when they start driving and show up with 5 of their buddies at 11:00 pm to make sandwiches in your kitchen and hang out in the basement like my son did last night��
 
Every now and then I read this thread to remind myself not to have a kid for at least 8 more years lol.
 
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