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The dad joke thread

Was is the sky so unhappy?

It has the blues.
 
Blessed are the constipated... For they don't give a ****! :egyptian:
 
When you see the duck flying over head, Do you know why one side in the "V" is longer than the other?

There are more ducks on that side.....
 
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What do you call a cow that just had a baby?

Decalfinated.
 
It turns out when you are asked which child is your favourite, you are supposed to pick one of your own...
 
I'd like to thank student loans for getting my kids through college.

I don't think I can ever repay you.
 
Why did the candle quit his job?

Wait for it..........................................;)

He was burned out. :laughing:
 
I clean all my weapons with tree sap.
Some say I’m crazy, but I’m sticking to my guns
 
The first rule of passive aggressive club is...
You know what, nevermind. It’s fine.
 
Just got offered a job teaching poetry in prison. Spent all night thinking about the prose and cons.
 
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eye. Now I have Heintzsight!:glasses-nerdy:
 
I ran out of toilet paper, and am now using lettuce leaves.

Today was the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen!
 
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza! I should have used Aloha temperature!!🤣🤣🤣
 
What did the red light say to the green light?

Don't look, I'm changing.
 
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