High School golf tryouts - is this expected?

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In other words, the tryouts system is completely "rigged". Disgusting.
The tryouts system is what it is. Hopefully your nephew will deal with it and make the best of it moving forward. Locking himself in his room and crying isn’t going to accomplish anything positive.
 
Sorry man, I don't know what you want us to tell you. There's been a lot of solid advice in here. Passing this sort of attitude onto this kid is not going to help him moving forward.

I guess I am surprised that most people find this action from the golf coach to be acceptable.

I get the part about using it as a motivation to get better.
 
Sorry man, I don't know what you want us to tell you. There's been a lot of solid advice in here. Passing this sort of attitude onto this kid is not going to help him moving forward.

It could also cost him a spot on the team next year if he wanted to try out again.
 
Hopefully your nephew is able to take this and use it as motivation and come back stronger next year. There is more I could say but others have said a lot of what I’m thinking and it hasn’t taken. No need to keep pushing something that isn’t agreeable to you. Best of luck to him going forward
 
In other words, the tryouts system is completely "rigged". Disgusting.
Had he gone out there and shot 40, he would have made the team. Some of those kids are known quantities and the tryouts help the coaches find new talent.

Like I said earlier, when I was in school and running, I probably could have skipped tryouts, because the coaches already knew me from junior olympics and road races. Seems pretty similar to the situation in the original post.
 
So what kind of message are the golf coach is sending to the kids? That the tryouts is mainly a dog and pony show, and score is not important, and the outcome is already determined.

I don't know what kind of world you live in but the objective of golf is to get the ball into the hole with the least amount of stroke, no matter how ugly that stroke might be. It is a three days tryouts and not a single day tryouts. 12 people with the lowest score should make the team, no exception.

What the coach did is disgusting.
You Are Absolutely Wrong! I am a coach and if a kid went out and shot 4 under every single round but was a poor teammate or had a bad attitude, he is not making the team! There are many variables to putting a team together!!!
 
In other words, the tryouts system is completely "rigged". Disgusting.
That's not at all what he or anyone is saying. You obviously didn't come here with your post to glean varying viewpoints.
 
This is where I have issues with your premise. Last year was done and over with. Everyone has to prove him/herself over again every year.

Where I work, my compensation is based on this year performance. It has NOTHING to do with last year performance. If I do not perform well this year, I will be fired regardless of how well I performed last year.

Have you ever heard of the phrase "Past performance is no guarantee of future results."?
This is taking away that kids improve and if they have already performed at this level then I could see why the coach went with this decision. If it was close and you've seen someone do it in the past it is based on merit.

I meant you stated it in your OP. The other kids have experience and your nephew doesn't and it was close. It's not like he was the 2nd best and got skipped over. That just means he needs to go get some experience and enter some tournaments. If he really wants to golf he should just ask to assist the team this year and continue to be around the team and go get tourney experience along the way.
 
This is precisely what happens when somebody in the “everybody gets a trophy” era gets their first taste of real life.
 
Bottom line: Kids who find themselves in this position are taught to be victims, or victors, overcome, or overcomers. Choose wisely.
 
My wife and I have coached teams of various sports at both the junior high and high school level for years. I know you are upset, but there isn't anything you described in the coach's evaluation that is unreasonable. It's unfortunate when in a situation where you can't take everyone you'd like. But that is reality.

I would suggest that a far more productive approach for your nephew would be to have a constructive conversation with the coach that goes something like this. "I realize I would benefit from more experience and I'd really like to make the team. How can I get the instruction and experience I need to get there?"

Most coaches would LOVE that attitude and challenge. Most junior high and high school sports have summer leagues and camps where your nephew can develop. I wouldn't be surprised if that coach coached a team in the summer or participated in a camp. Most coaches do. He might even be so impressed with your nephew's attitude that he would let him practice with the team.
Can you explain taking people with worse scores? Legitimately I do not understand how this is acceptable. That type of evaluation seems like the definition of unreasonable. This isn’t like a basketball, baseball or football tryout where there is subjective evaluation. There is literally an objective measurement in golf - your score. Golf is a game about getting the ball in the hole. If one kid does it better than another during the stated tryout period he deserves a spot.
 
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To be to the point, yeah the coach can do that. If he knows those others are tournament players who had a bad day it has to be taken into consideration. It sucks, but it’s up to the coach.

I don’t cut at my program, boys or girls, but given the brevity of the season I understand why many do.

As to what you can do? You can raise a stink, but if the coach is following policy and it’s his discretion then it is what it is. Additionally, it’s smart to keep in mind you’re getting one side of the story, and it’s one you have an emotional toe to.

Personally, I’d use it as motivation for the future.

This is a big reason I’m a no cut program, it saves headaches and gives kids motivation to improve.
As a parent of a kid who beat people during tryouts on the scorecard and got cut, thank you for being no cut. That experience was one of the worst ever.
 
Can you explain taking people with worse scores? Legitimately I do not understand how this is acceptable. That type of evaluation seems like the definition of unreasonable. This isn’t like a basketball, baseball or football tryout where there is subjective evaluation. There is literally an objective measurement in golf - your score. Golf is a game about getting the ball in the hole. If one kid does it better than another during the stated tryout period he deserves a spot.
Golf has a very rich and deep history and present emphasis when it comes to character development, sportsmanship, and developing maturity. We see this throughout our sport from 1st Tee to the highest competitive levels of the sport. Golf, of all sports, would be the sport you would expect other criteria besides score to enter into the criteria. But it's not the only sport that does so. Certainly there are many schools and sports programs at the middle school and high school level that hold similar values and priorities.
 
Let's face facts here. Most "high school golf coaches" are not coaches at all, they are "van drivers"! They work out a schedule and get the team to the venue on time. Very little coaching or instruction goes on.

This. I am out on the driving range some evenings when the HS golf team shows up, and those kids aren't exactly receiving 1 on 1 lessons from Phil and Tiger. They're pretty much just pounding range balls with a little more structure... coach forces them to go chip for 15 mins, etc.

Maybe some high schools take it more seriously, I don't know.
 
I was very upset when my 18 year old son was cut from a club soccer team when he was 12 because I felt he was robbed. He was better than 3 or 4 of the 15 that made the team, but the coach chose players that were on the team prior. I am sure if my son was better than 12 of them, the coach would have made the tough decision to cut one of “his” players, but it just wasn’t the case. I was only upset because it was my son; the coach did nothing wrong.

Coaches have tough decisions and don’t always make the right ones, but they are their decisions to make. None of us have a complete picture of who made the team and why. Your nephew should keep playing and go back next year and kick butt. Maybe try to attend some of the coach’s clinics or enter some open tournament.
 
The OP is the exact reasons that coaching youth sports is one of the most brutal jobs out there. All sorts of advice and perspectives have been shared as to why someone may not get picked, for good reason, to be on a team, and yet the whining and justification to a bunch of strangers continues.
I really hope the discussion about the supposed injustice hasn’t taken place in front of the young man. He will be set up for failure and blaming everything around him the rest of his life with the example he is being shown.
 
Welcome to the real world. Things happen.
 
Just looking at it from a couple of sides, what does the OP's son think about this? Is he taking it on the chin and using it as motivation to improve, or has he let it completely demotivate him.

When I was at school I played rugby for the school, every year there were tryouts and the squad was built from there. If someone was playing well then they made the team, but if there were clearly better players who just had an off day then they would be given a pass for obvious reasons. If I got cut from the team, and my old man went storming to the coach, and referring to him as an a**hole online and saying the decisions were disgusting I would be absolutely mortified and humiliated. From there on in, if I ever did get a place on the team, I'd worry that everyone else would be looking at me thinking I only got a place on the team because my dad kicked up a stink.

Life isn't fair, and to be honest, the sooner a lot of kids realise that the better. Does it suck for him? Yeah, of course it does and I feel for him. But if this is the worst setback that he ever has in his life then lucky him.
 
Most of us have been passed over for a job, not made a team. The pretty girl liked somebody else. Michael Jordan didn’t make varsity his sophomore year. Parents and loved ones jobs are tough. The direction you give him will be a part of how he reacts to the many set backs he gets in life.
 
This is why school teams often have a hard time getting and keeping coaches. They have to make decisions on who plays and no matter what he does, there will always be some parents and students who aren’t happy.

Sometimes the application list for a HS coaching job has only one name.

This is precisely what happens when somebody in the “everybody gets a trophy” era gets their first taste of real life.

This. Though I don't understand why anyone would be cut from practicing.

OP, you've ignored a good deal of solid advice in here. Set aside your indignation and do something constructive for the young man.
 
Freshman year of high school I tried out for football. Less than two minutes after they called to say I didn't make the team, the phone rang again. It was the cross country coach. "I hear you didn't make the football team, so your fall is open for cross country." I'll never forget that. So you know what I did? I went and ran and made varsity instead of playing freshman football.
 
I didn't pickup golf until in my 50's but I played tennis in high school and also at a D2 college. I can tell you that it happened to me in tennis. I transferred to a new school after my HS freshman year. I beat everyone on the team badly and should play #1 single but the coach did not let me. He let other players play ahead of me because they were seniors. My parents didn't put up with that BS and complained, and they let me play the #1 single.

Btw, my nephew is a straight A student with extreme work ethic. He spent three hours practicing golf, even when it rain, to get ready for the tryouts. He is been playing for less than a year. That just sucks.
It's frustrating I know. We want the people we love to do well. Sometimes they're not able to for reasons outside of their control. It doesn't sound like the coach "had it in" for your nephew... more like the other kids chosen were known quantities to him. They had experience that your nephew doesn't.:confused2:

It stings. But maybe there's a way to take the sting out... talk to your sister and nephew. Have him go to the coach and ask to be an alternate.

Another way that could help is sign your nephew up for some lessons. You get to be the cool uncle, your nephew's game improves, and there's a good chance he makes the team the following year.

Also, your nephew needs to be known at school. He needs to be seen as involved and teachers and coaches need to recognize him. Maybe that's why he was overlooked.

I know when I was in high school the only people that knew I even attended were my teachers. Outside of them, I didn't do anything extra-curricular. Your nephew needs to do the extra-curricular activities... clubs, camps, sports... the teachers will select who they know.
 
Had he gone out there and shot 40, he would have made the team. Some of those kids are known quantities and the tryouts help the coaches find new talent.

Like I said earlier, when I was in school and running, I probably could have skipped tryouts, because the coaches already knew me from junior olympics and road races. Seems pretty similar to the situation in the original post.

That's just unfair. Everyone should be judged based on their performances during the tryouts, NOT past performances. Isn't that what they are doing at the US Olympic trials where your performance on that day matters and not your performance last week or last month? That's just IMHO.

You Are Absolutely Wrong! I am a coach and if a kid went out and shot 4 under every single round but was a poor teammate or had a bad attitude, he is not making the team! There are many variables to putting a team together!!!

My nephew is very well behaved and respectful, and he does not have bad attitude. Let not go there.

This is precisely what happens when somebody in the “everybody gets a trophy” era gets their first taste of real life.

Not sure what you meant by that. My nephew beat three other kids who are seniors by at least five strokes. What you're suggesting is scores don't matter.

Can you explain taking people with worse scores? Legitimately I do not understand how this is acceptable. That type of evaluation seems like the definition of unreasonable. This isn’t like a basketball, baseball or football tryout where there is subjective evaluation. There is literally an objective measurement in golf - your score. Golf is a game about getting the ball in the hole. If one kid does it better than another during the stated tryout period he deserves a spot.

I complete agree with this post. Golf is sport where the your score is the most important thing. What else is more important than the lowest score? I would like to know.

Golf has a very rich and deep history and present emphasis when it comes to character development, sportsmanship, and developing maturity. We see this throughout our sport from 1st Tee to the highest competitive levels of the sport. Golf, of all sports, would be the sport you would expect other criteria besides score to enter into the criteria. But it's not the only sport that does so. Certainly there are many schools and sports programs at the middle school and high school level that hold similar values and priorities.

My nephew is very well behaved and respectful, and he does not have bad attitude. Let not go there.

Most of us have been passed over for a job, not made a team. The pretty girl liked somebody else. Michael Jordan didn’t make varsity his sophomore year. Parents and loved ones jobs are tough. The direction you give him will be a part of how he reacts to the many set backs he gets in life.

I get that life is unfair.


Update:

I talked to both my nephew and his mother, my younger sister, early this morning. Another mom of another kid who participated in the tryouts told her that the golf coach told the mom that if a new player who has no history with the team in previous years fails to crack the top 6th (that's the starting lineup), he/she will not make the team. In other words, my nephew needs to beat the top six players or he will not make the team. IMHO, that rule is grossly unfair but it is what it is, I guess.

I have a very long talk with my nephew this morning at my house. He drove over to my house for breakfast before going out to the driving range at 6:30am. I told him that not making the golf team is not his fault and that I will do everything I can to get him better. This is just a bump on the road, just keep working hard and he will be rewarded. I said to him that the best revenge is to be successful. I said to him: Imagine at next year golf tryouts, you beat the best golfer on the team, get selected for the team and you tell the coach "no thank you, I don't want to play on your golf team". That will be the ultimate revenge. Work hard for the next 12 months and you will have your revenge.

I am going to put together a plan to help him become one of the top golfers, if not the best, at next year golf tryouts.

- I am going to convert my garage into a golf place where he can practice everyday,
- I am going to purchase the Trackman 4 with all the features,
- I am going to have him look at by two more golf instructors to make sure he gets the correct instructions,
- Play golf everyday,
- Practice on the same golf course everyday where they hold the tryouts for four months prior to the tryouts,

My sister doesn't have the financial resource to do this but I do and I am going to make this my first and foremost priority in the next 12 months.
 
That's just unfair. Everyone should be judged based on their performances during the tryouts, NOT past performances. Isn't that what they are doing at the US Olympic trials where your performance on that day matters and not your performance last week or last month? That's just IMHO.



My nephew is very well behaved and respectful, and he does not have bad attitude. Let not go there.



Not sure what you meant by that. My nephew beat three other kids who are seniors by at least five strokes. What you're suggesting is scores don't matter.



I complete agree with this post. Golf is sport where the your score is the most important thing. What else is more important than the lowest score? I would like to know.



My nephew is very well behaved and respectful, and he does not have bad attitude. Let not go there.



I get that life is unfair.


Update:

I talked to both my nephew and his mother, my younger sister, early this morning. Another mom of another kid who participated in the tryouts told her that the golf coach told the mom that if a new player who has no history with the team in previous years fails to crack the top 6th (that's the starting lineup), he/she will not make the team. In other words, my nephew needs to beat the top six players or he will not make the team. IMHO, that rule is grossly unfair but it is what it is, I guess.

I have a very long talk with my nephew this morning at my house. He drove over to my house for breakfast before going out to the driving range at 6:30am. I told him that not making the golf team is not his fault and that I will do everything I can to get him better. This is just a bump on the road, just keep working hard and he will be rewarded. I said to him that the best revenge is to be successful. I said to him: Imagine at next year golf tryouts, you beat the best golfer on the team, get selected for the team and you tell the coach "no thank you, I don't want to play on your golf team". That will be the ultimate revenge. Work hard for the next 12 months and you will have your revenge.

I am going to put together a plan to help him become one of the top golfers, if not the best, at next year golf tryouts.

- I am going to convert my garage into a golf place where he can practice everyday,
- I am going to purchase the Trackman 4 with all the features,
- I am going to have him look at by two more golf instructors to make sure he gets the correct instructions,
- Play golf everyday,
- Practice on the same golf course everyday where they hold the tryouts for four months prior to the tryouts,

My sister doesn't have the financial resource to do this but I do and I am going to make this my first and foremost priority in the next 12 months.

You just don't get it.

....you're teaching the kid that revenge is the goal and you're going to make the investment, not him.
 
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