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Balancing Parenthood and Golf

I love golf but I love my kids 10000000x more. I think the hard part for me is I would rather spend time with my kids than playing golf. So my time playing/practicing is when they are napping. Or I hit balls in the backyard into my net and can let my kids practice with me. They are 3.5 and 1.5 but they like watching, hitting, and picking up the balls in the yard when we are chipping around. I also putt a lot at night when the kids are asleep. I also will run to my local course once a week during lunch to putt or hit some range balls.

I try to maximize the time I can pick up a club during times that I’m not already with my kids or they are asleep.

They are only young for a short time and it goes quick so I want to maximize my time with them. And eventually they will get older and hopefully they will want to play with me at some point.

Hope that helps.
 
When my kids were little I gave up the game for a handful of years. Money was tight and those years a good to be apart of. Once they hit the double digits I started hitting the range from time to time and then started golfing. I like some others don't do a ton of practice type things. Around here a large bucket can range from 15-20$. If you plan ahead I can golf a 9 hole course for that playing 18 holes.. that's what I do for practice.

Enjoy your kids golf will be there when you can get out.
 
Everyone has had some incredible advice on here, and a lot of heartwarming stories. Figured I'd provide a little more context:

Family will always be #1, but golf will inevitably be an important part of my life too...it's truly my one activity that I have a passion and love for. That being said, I never plan on missing a game or event or whatever for a round of golf. My parents were at EVERYTHING and I still remember the impact it had on me for them to always be there, it's honestly a big part of why I got out of working in the golf industry and got a "regular job"

Time management seems like the #1 tip! Luckily my wife is on board with the local tournament schedule I try and play, and I always reciprocate for whatever she wants to do to have her time as well.

Pretty amazing and supportive community of people here, I appreciate all the love and advice! And a lot of great parents!
 
For me a few things that have helped are:
-Finding the times that are minimally emotionally/mentally taxing for my partner for me to go play. 9 holes during nap time has been a safe bet for us, and it worked out that she would like to take the kids to the Y on Saturday mornings where they had childcare, so a good chunk of my regular Saturday morning game she wasn't having to watch them. Now the kids are older and play well together, so even if one of us is gone the load is pretty low compared to what it used to be.
-Finding ways to do "golf stuff" in 10-30 min chunks. For me having an indoor setup has helped a lot here but it could also be getting your work done 15 minutes faster so you can stop by the putting green for a few minutes on the way home. Sounds like you've figured this one out a little bit.
-If golf is your "thing" then it kind of has to be your only thing. With a more flexible job than I had when I started having kids, I actually probably play a little more golf than my early adulthood, but I don't spend much time if any doing things I used to like watch a lot of sports, play video games with friends, etc
-Looks like you are in RI. I think something that helps the balance here is there is a 4-5 month offseason where I'm home basically all the time except for a couple days I go into the office. So there is kind of a rhythm where maybe in the summers I'm playing on a lot of Saturday mornings, but if you zoom out to the whole year I'm home with the kids on weekends way more often than I'm not
 
We raised two Daughters, who didn't golf. During that busy time with them, I built a golf practice area in my back yard. Framed, and built my own net for full swings. Also a putting/chipping green. My Wife even helped with decorative shrubbery. So all that was available to use as time permitted.

As the Girls grew older, they took up softball. My golf net then doubled as a batting cage. The chipping/putting area doubled as a play area for our youngsters, and their friends .

We were a "family first" home, as much as our work schedules permitted.

Since golf was good for my work networking, I played most of my golf during the work week. I could usually find a couple hours most weekends to see my swing guru.

The best advice I can give about armature golf is to keep one's priorities straight. Some things are just more important than golf.

On another happy note, when our girls started their own lives, we thought our free time would improve. Not so. Grandkids happened, and the whole child raising thing started over......to a point.
 
In think sometimes parents go overboard where kids activities take too much time. A guy I used to work with had two boys, each on multiple hockey teams. Almost every early morning and evening, was spent shuttling them to practices. Every weekend was a tournament somewhere. He literally did nothing but work and drive them to practices and games. No time for himself, no time for his wife. He was tired all the time.

As I said before, I think it’s important that parents have at least some time for themselves together and as individuals.
 
MGoBlue said:
In think sometimes parents go overboard where kids activities take too much time. A guy I used to work with had two boys, each on multiple hockey teams. Almost every early morning and evening, was spent shuttling them to practices. Every weekend was a tournament somewhere. He literally did nothing but work and drive them to practices and games. No time for himself, no time for his wife. He was tired all the time.

As I said before, I think it’s important that parents have at least some time for themselves together and as individuals.
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Probably a separate topic, but I agree with you to an extent. We have over commercialized youth sports a lot. It used to be a lot of people played recreational level and 'competitive' sports were limited to the most talented kids who may have the potential to play at a high level through HS and college.

Now we've created a cottage industry of 'pay for play' sports where we'll create enough divisions and teams to accommodate anybody who can scratch out a check. Parents have kids specializing in a sport at 8....buying a $350 bat and $200 glove for a kid who may be done with baseball by 14 or not make the varsity team. They'll have them in a sport for 12 months of the year rather than rotating like we did back in the day. Private coaching lessons, soccer camps, volleyball clinics - the money can get insane. People will always want to provide the best they can afford for their kids - and a whole industry will be happy to cater to it.

The plus side is that it provides a lot of structured together time for families. My son and I had lots of time to talk on the way back and forth to practice each week through the years.

The downside parents give up a lot themselves in a way that feels like they are 'doing it for the kids'. And we've killed recreational sports for the kids who don't have the means to pay for the competitive sports rat race.
 
bsbmike5 said:
My question to the new and seasoned parents out there is what are some tips or things you did to help keep your golf game sharp (and playing a decent amount!) while balancing the parenthood life?
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Trade Offer GIF by Dynasty Drunks


It's all about the trade. "Honey, how about I watch the kids on Saturday so you can go out shopping with your friends, and then you watch on Sunday while I play golf?"
 
Love this thread. I struggle with this as well as a parent of 4. (11,5,3, and 3 months). Kids and family are always number one. My way to get golf in is what I heard referred to on a podcast as "golf snacks". Whether that be putting on the mat, practicing wedge swings while in a meeting, or hitting into a new in the backyard on lunch breaks.

I think all of last year I only played 18 once. I have already played once this year and have a bachelor trip for a friend where im playing five rounds over the course of three days next week (I cant even begin to tell you how grateful I am for my wife for being okay with me being gone). Other than that and this little thing called Shaft Up, I probably wont get out for 18 the rest of the year.

I really like the idea of playing 9 early on Saturday mornings. I may have to get out there and do that a few times this summer. I love being home when the kids get up so that should work perfectly. Also allows more than enough time to help get everyone ready for Soccer games on Saturdays.
 
encourage your wife to go out and do things she enjoys while you take care of the kid. For a lot of women its really hard to be comfotable doing that, mom guilt is a REAL thing. Its taken me a long time to realize that you have to help push them out of that, so they know its OK for them to go do something they want to do, when they want to do it. It will make things much easier those times you want to go get a round in.
 
bsbmike5 said:
I'm a relatively new dad (1 year old at home). Last year was brutal when it came to golf. I never got to practice, and would routinely go 6-8 weeks between touching a club. Granted, I based a lot of my playing around amateur competition, but I didn't feel like I had any prep going into those events.

Now that life is a little more under control and I have a different job with some more freedom, my golfing routine has started to improve. We have an outdoor and indoor range within 10 minutes of my office and luckily my boss is cool with me extending lunch a little bit to get some work in.

My question to the new and seasoned parents out there is what are some tips or things you did to help keep your golf game sharp (and playing a decent amount!) while balancing the parenthood life?
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I am right there with you, but with 2 under 4! for me I go to a range that's open until 9pm after they go to bed for practice, and I try and play 9 after work on a Friday (i finish early that day). I have tried to plan some weekend golf but family takes priority so I end up having to cancel the rounds. I have also previously been a member of a sim center that operates like a gym (open 24/7 and you have a key fob to get in, managed by an online booking system).. this worked good as I could practice/play virtually after they went to bed.. downside was it cost just as much as a golf membership so I only can do it for a short period at a time.
 
It’s really hard. I had an easier time finding small blocks with one kid pre-spots. With work, second baby and now that Kinsley is pretty much year round with some sport it is hard. Hopefully I can convince Kinsley to start playing as an excuse to go out with her and I’m definitely going to have Jameson.
 
When my kids were born, I would only play once per year at company tournament so it was easy to continue. I don’t think I played more than once in a year until both my boys were 16 as life was crazy busy and work was traveling in my job all the time. Once they left for university, I started to make up for lost years.
 
When my son turned 3 I started letting him ride in the cart with me. He quickly wanted his own set of clubs. At that point I let him tee off, then putt. He started taking lessons and I could take him to the range. Work gets in the way more than parenthood. This past year we went on our first golf trip together after Christmas. I'll never forget it. This year we're going to Pinehurst to play the Cradle and Tobacco Road.
 
bsbmike5 said:
I'm a relatively new dad (1 year old at home). Last year was brutal when it came to golf. I never got to practice, and would routinely go 6-8 weeks between touching a club. Granted, I based a lot of my playing around amateur competition, but I didn't feel like I had any prep going into those events.

Now that life is a little more under control and I have a different job with some more freedom, my golfing routine has started to improve. We have an outdoor and indoor range within 10 minutes of my office and luckily my boss is cool with me extending lunch a little bit to get some work in.

My question to the new and seasoned parents out there is what are some tips or things you did to help keep your golf game sharp (and playing a decent amount!) while balancing the parenthood life?
Click to expand...
Handicap slips and routine for play has changed quite a bit for me... 2 kids 4 and under
 
TJRyska said:
I love golf but I love my kids 10000000x more. I think the hard part for me is I would rather spend time with my kids than playing golf. So my time playing/practicing is when they are napping. Or I hit balls in the backyard into my net and can let my kids practice with me. They are 3.5 and 1.5 but they like watching, hitting, and picking up the balls in the yard when we are chipping around. I also putt a lot at night when the kids are asleep. I also will run to my local course once a week during lunch to putt or hit some range balls.

I try to maximize the time I can pick up a club during times that I’m not already with my kids or they are asleep.

They are only young for a short time and it goes quick so I want to maximize my time with them. And eventually they will get older and hopefully they will want to play with me at some point.

Hope that helps.
Click to expand...
This is awesome... Similar ages at 4/1.5 ... The first year I played a ton with my son and that was not working for wife or son and this time around it's ehh maybe I'll play. Very fortunate for a weekday league, but we switch personal time and that means she gets to have a night out too.

I love my time and looking forward to having my son join me out there for some 9ers this year.

I enjoy the game and have putting fun with him on the mat and have a net /mat that he is hitting tennis balls with his club.

Signed up for sat am sports and honestly don't care about missing golf. Sometimes I'll golf when they are napping or have days out with mom, but overall it's not a search for tee times and really every round is fun
 
G-Man said:
This is awesome... Similar ages at 4/1.5 ... The first year I played a ton with my son and that was not working for wife or son and this time around it's ehh maybe I'll play. Very fortunate for a weekday league, but we switch personal time and that means she gets to have a night out too.

I love my time and looking forward to having my son join me out there for some 9ers this year.

I enjoy the game and have putting fun with him on the mat and have a net /mat that he is hitting tennis balls with his club.

Signed up for sat am sports and honestly don't care about missing golf. Sometimes I'll golf when they are napping or have days out with mom, but overall it's not a search for tee times and really every round is fun
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Glad to hear I’m not alone! Thanks for sharing
 
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