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Confessions of a hacker (WARNING content & description may be too graphic for real golfers)

BigTreble

BigTreble

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Dear Ann Landers

I have a friend who confessed to me of violating a sacred rule in golf. While playing a round by himself, for fun he violated the Distance portion of the stroke and distance penalty. Again he was not counting this score in any way shape of form towards a leage, competition or handicap, it was just a fun round. While teeing off he watched hil ball land just off the fairway in what i would refer to as a deeper ruff. Seeing virtually precisely where it landed HE was confident he didn't need a provisional, in fact it didn't even cross his mind. Low and behold he could not find his ball. Ratther than walking back to the tee box to tee off another ball, he simple dropped another counted one penalty stroke and played on. This was utter blasphemy, i know.

He was concerned about slowing down a guy about 1.5 holes back, and the additional time to go back and play another. I'm sure he is concerned if word gets out, his wife may leave him, his children abandon him the villagers will run him out and he may loose his job.

Are there others that have done this? Any additional strokes for not taking the distance? Or do you always walk back and replay a new ball?

Sincerely
Friend of a rulebreaker( this couldn't be me)
 
Shame on him! 🤣
 
I have a friend who will do this every so often on a busy course.
 
I, personally, have absolutely done this. No shame about it!

My wife won't leave me, I'm a great cook, my children won't abandon me, they literally think showing me dirt is interesting, my village won't run me out, they are so introverted my neighbor of 6 years has literally never spoken to me even though I shoveled her drive way for 3 years Everytime it snows, and my job won't fire me because who else will fix all their shenanigans?!

My name is Adam and I bring spare balls when I look for my shanks, pulls, fades, mishits, draws, fats and thins!
 
Who is Ann Landers?
 
JDax said:
Who is Ann Landers?
Click to expand...
I’m dating myself a little but….

Esther Pauline "Eppie" Lederer, better known by the pen name Ann Landers, was an American advice columnist and eventually a nationwide media celebrity. She began writing the "Ask Ann Landers" column in 1955 and continued for 47 years, by which time its readership was 90 million people.
en.wikipedia.org

Eppie Lederer - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
 
That post said:
I’m dating myself a little but….

Esther Pauline "Eppie" Lederer, better known by the pen name Ann Landers, was an American advice columnist and eventually a nationwide media celebrity. She began writing the "Ask Ann Landers" column in 1955 and continued for 47 years, by which time its readership was 90 million people.
en.wikipedia.org

Eppie Lederer - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
Click to expand...
And her identical twin sister wrote the Dear Abby advice column.
 
JDax said:
Who is Ann Landers?
Click to expand...
Back before social media & the internet there were two forms of getting others opinion; the Jerry Springer show or advise columns in a printed paper document we referred to as the newspaper. Ann Landers was an advise columnist who knew nearly everything, not as much as Jerry Springer, but close and you could do so anonymously and blame it on another family member.

Essentially we had to take our personal problems elsewhere, thank God we now have the Facebook, snap, chat instergram and other social media where I can vent, make sure all others either know how perfect my life is or how miserable I am at the current time. Then I am able to bash others who don't share my opinions, then block them if they say something that makes me feel offended 🤣
 
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Yeah, I've done this in for fun, and practice rounds. Nothing sinister happened to me. No family members disowned me. My work still pays me not to show up. My Dogs did give me a dirty look.

Heck, I even think there should be an "amateur, hackers rule book" stipulating this type of play. Just make it a two stroke penalty.
 


But really, if a tree falls in a wood and no one is there to see it, did it make a sound?
 
A friend I play with regularly will hit a provisional ball if he has doubts of the validity of his first shot, however in all the years of playing together I have yet to witness him make the trek back to the tee/place of last shot if said ball is not found.

In fact, I can't say that I have ever witnessed anyone walking back to replay a shot during "casual" golf.
 
BigTreble said:
Dear Ann Landers

I have a friend who confessed to me of violating a sacred rule in golf. While playing a round by himself, for fun he violated the Distance portion of the stroke and distance penalty. Again he was not counting this score in any way shape of form towards a leage, competition or handicap, it was just a fun round. While teeing off he watched hil ball land just off the fairway in what i would refer to as a deeper ruff. Seeing virtually precisely where it landed HE was confident he didn't need a provisional, in fact it didn't even cross his mind. Low and behold he could not find his ball. Ratther than walking back to the tee box to tee off another ball, he simple dropped another counted one penalty stroke and played on. This was utter blasphemy, i know.

He was concerned about slowing down a guy about 1.5 holes back, and the additional time to go back and play another. I'm sure he is concerned if word gets out, his wife may leave him, his children abandon him the villagers will run him out and he may loose his job.

Are there others that have done this? Any additional strokes for not taking the distance? Or do you always walk back and replay a new ball?

Sincerely
Friend of a rulebreaker( this couldn't be me)
Click to expand...
I’m pretty sure that means he receives a 1 year ban.
However, he could file an appeal with the USGA Inquisition Court
 
Junkyard said:
A friend I play with regularly will hit a provisional ball if he has doubts of the validity of his first shot, however in all the years of playing together I have yet to witness him make the trek back to the tee/place of last shot if said ball is not found.

In fact, I can't say that I have ever witnessed anyone walking back to replay a shot during "casual" golf.
Click to expand...

I wonder if your playing with the brother of my friend lol
 
My League actually has a rule that if you can't find your ball just drop one count the stroke and play on. This is to combat slow play, or we're just to lazy to go back who knows. Anyway it happens all the time.
 
 
I am waiting for the TV show pilot ... "Confessions of a Effin' Golf Hacker"
 
kiwichris said:


But really, if a tree falls in a wood and no one is there to see it, did it make a sound?
Click to expand...


That is a philosophical question.

My buddy and I played in 2 man league at a 9 hole course called Hidden Oaks. Except the oaks weren't hidden. They are freaking huge, And border nearly every fairway. The owner of the course told us that if our ball came to rest near one of these oaks to move it away from the roots and give ourselves a clean lie. He said he didn't need golfers breaking wrists and hands out there.
 
Your friend isn’t alone!
 
Wait what? Rounds would take 6 hours at the local courses if people went back to the box for every lost ball
 
WLG1952 said:
Yeah, I've done this in for fun, and practice rounds. Nothing sinister happened to me. No family members disowned me. My work still pays me not to show up. My Dogs did give me a dirty look.

Heck, I even think there should be an "amateur, hackers rule book" stipulating this type of play. Just make it a two stroke penalty.
Click to expand...
As a side note: Dear sir, real hackers do not add strokes to their score. We use our foot wedge and our fuzzy math. The best wood in my bag is my PENCIL.....LOL!
 
 
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