Country Club Member Impressions/Advice

Mystery Meat

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Joined a country club for the first time in my life at the end of this summer. Signed up for a one year golf only membership.(no need for the tennis or pool portion for me).The golf course officially closed sunday for the year. It's a shorter course by many people's standards (6500 from the back tees with a 70.9 rating). But extremely beautiful and a great old layout with many narrow and demanding Tee shots and small fast undulating greens. The course itself is excellent and always in superb shape. Currently i have 15 rounds since I bought my membership

Now the downside of the club. I've played here as a single for 14 rounds, the one round I invited my coworkers out and paid for their guest fees. Besides that it has been a single ordeal for a club that boasts a social atmosphere as their mantra. I've been waved thru just about everytime when approaching any groups..even a single waved me thru as well. It's almost like the members prefer to play alone or prefer to just play in their own groups. There is a week day men's club that meets Monday and Thursday afternoons and the weekends. Oddly you can't just come out and join them , you have to be invited by their group to join them. I asked to join and was given an answer a week later from the men's club president that I was approved to join in their groups. Kinda find this a bit odd and standoffish. Almost like being a paying member isn't good enough to join their groups. You have to be approved to tee it up with them. When I was told I was "approved to play".The men's club president along with another member walked out and told me on the putting green one am during my practice session. Their approval speech to me was kinda bizarre and made it sound like I should be honored to even play in their group.

Never ran into this, and now kinda miss my public golf playing days when you could join anyone with no exceptions. They seemed more open and were more than happy to have new partners join up in the public men's club groups. It's such a beautiful course and a great place to work on your game. But for the social side it has been a real let down. Kinda feel like i made a mistake in joining ; but it is only a one year membership. At this point early on I'm real hesitant on renewing and it was slightly overpriced IMHO

Anyone else run into this as a newer member ?
anyone ditch being a country club member because of the stigma/general consensus?
 
I does seem the attitude of the club members differs from club to club based on what I read from you and others. I too joined a club this year and have found the attitude of the members to be quite welcoming. Most are more than cordial in the clubhouse, the pro shop, and on the course. I find the course conditions are always above my expectations. The ball marks and divots are repaired , a majority of the time. The players will wave you threw if need be and they are willing to yell FORE. There are no leagues allowed but there are a couple unofficial members groups. Good for them. I also play plenty of other courses that are public or semi public. What I noticed and mentioned to my main playing partner, who is also a member at the same club, the attitude of public golfers, at public courses, a majority of times, is rude, stand offish, and irresponsible (cigarette butts thrown out, thrash on the sides if the course, unrepaired course damage, no FORE, etc.). I have continued my membership.
 
I joined a private club about 18 years ago and ran into a very similar attitude.

It was made even worst when I showed up at the member guest with my Harley riding buddy Tats and all who happened to be a 4 HC and we won.

Fortunately it was annual renewal and I didn't renew. But I never found anyone welcoming. Including the head pro who was about to retire and didn't go out of his way to make newcomers welcome.

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Hindsight is 20/20 but why would you join a club at the end of the summer, knowing it will close soon? Clubs are full of cliques you're the new guy it should get easier over time. Is the "mens group" organized by the club pro's or is it just a group of guys who have a set time they play?
 
Hindsight is 20/20 but why would you join a club at the end of the summer, knowing it will close soon? Clubs are full of cliques you're the new guy it should get easier over time. Is the "mens group" organized by the club pro's or is it just a group of guys who have a set time they play?
It's a year membership from when joined. The men's club is run specifically by the members only and the pro and staff have no say so in their affairs. The staff at the club is excellent,just the members are not what I expected.Its not an Augusta National, as many of the members treat this facility and the status of being a member.

i took advantage of the super low one time rate. They are really struggling and looking to increase their membership
 
It's a year membership from when joined. The men's club is run specifically by the members only and the pro and staff have no say so in their affairs. The staff at the club is excellent,just the members are not what I expected.Its not an Augusta National, as many of the members treat this facility and the status of being a member.

i took advantage of the super low one time rate. They are really struggling and looking to increase their membership

Funny. I know so many golfers that think their club is so exclusive. It's one thing to have pride in your club. It's another to be snooty about it. Ironically the golfers I know that play down the private club thing the most are the ones that belong to the most exclusive clubs Around here.


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Also 5 mins from my sons daycare. And jumping on a cart and just taking off for a wide open facility was appealing to me. When on the course the attitude changes to very cold and stone faced. It's not the end all, it's not an auto renew membership. So even though the location is so ideal, I can travel 15 more minutes and play the local municipal.

Will see what next season brings
 
That sounds horrible. However, given the other positives - nice course, good facilities, close to your son's daycare - I'd stick it out. Social stuff sometimes takes time. That may be especially true in this type of environment where people have longstanding relationships.
 
While I am currently a golf bagabon so to speak, I have been a member of 3 private clubs because they were a business venue and a business perk. I've also have been a guest a several private clubs, again mostly business related. It's my observation that much like individuals clubs have personalities. It is important that the club's personality and your personality can co-exist, so to speak, and are a match. . .
 
I joined a very nice club in September and am not regretting it in the least.

I have found the members to be extremely friendly. Of course there are always some people you don't care for in any large group, but I haven't found them yet.

I enjoy the conditions and the pace of play is wonderful. The expense is not much more than I was paying to play on the public courses.
 
Country Club Member Impressions/Advice

I decided against joining any clubs because the one I want to join is over an hour away, and all the decent local ones have some ridiculous non refundable 5-figure initiation fee.


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I feel bad for you...
But, I don't think it's that unusual.

I just joined a CC about a month ago (only as a social member right now, but it lets me use their top notch practice facilities).

It is clearly cliquish.

I go out of my way to say 'hi' to everyone. It seems like a lot of people are caught off guard by a simple stranger saying 'hello', and making small talk. But after that initial reaction they start to open up (especially the more they start to see you around).
I'm the new guy. In 3, 6, 12 months I will be a familiar face, and things will be very different.

If money's not an issue, I think if you give it time, and make an effort, you will find they are friendly folk.

I'm not saying this in a good, or bad way...but I think it is inherent with joining a CC: you have joined into a large 'clique'. Right now you are on the outside of that clique...in time you won't be.
 
California is a fairly transient place. Almost none of my neighbors are from the Sacramento area, they all grew up somewhere else so maybe the view towards necomers is more open here. 90% of the members at my club are super friendly to newcomers, the exception being a small group of about 16 that are resistant to newcomers playing/joining their group. There are a few other small groups of 12-20 guys that tee off the same time every week but they have not been opposed to me getting in on their "game". These money games are small stakes - it's hard to lose more than $15. There is also a group of about 8-10 scratch golfers that tee off every Friday at 11:00-11:20 that prefers you're at least a 5 or lower index before playing with them but they play a no handicap team game so you really don't want to be any higher than a 3 or 4. The first time I played in that group I was actually as nervous as I had been in 20 years. It was a week after joining the club and they asked be to join them I think to test to see if I was a legit player. Luckily I got rid of the butterflies after a few holes and shot 73 off the 6980 yard tees.
 
I actually really like the attitude present at Country Clubs. It seems like the higher the dues, the more particular the members are about who they are playing with, and I personally find that to be fantastic. My course has around 3-400 members at any given time, and I've had very little issue finding groups to play with who have similar interests and are worth having a beer with after the round.

On Saturday and Sunday, there are large groups that play together in a structured manner, and I've been invited to play in a couple of them despite the age difference. I've opted out from a majority of the invites due to the pricey games they play, but I think my demeanor on course opens the door to at least have that option. There are also groups who have never bothered to invite me, and I'm not offended at all because I know some of the guys who play with them regularly and I just don't see eye to eye with them.

I think there are two ways to look at it. Bitter as though it was a bunch of high school drama nonsense, or convenience as it creates structured opportunities for playing partners. There is no reason to expect that the game of golf unifies the entire membership, and I certainly don't expect an invite from 100% of my membership -- But I have enjoyed creating solid relationships and can feel comfortable finding a tee time and a foursome any day of the week.

If you don't like how they are, and your goal is to be welcomed with open arms at a Club, maybe it's time to find a new course.
 
I don't see anything wrong with being approved to plau in the men's group. I know our group is like that, as is Bayhill's and Lake Nona's...etc. You just joined and it will take some effort of your part to seek out people that you might befriend. It's like any other club membership, you get out what you put in. I am sure if you attend some mixers or social events you will meet people and be invited to play.
 
While I am currently a golf bagabon so to speak, I have been a member of 3 private clubs because they were a business venue and a business perk. I've also have been a guest a several private clubs, again mostly business related. It's my observation that much like individuals clubs have personalities. It is important that the club's personality and your personality can co-exist, so to speak, and are a match. . .

I'm sorry, a what?
 
I joined a private club this past year and have yet to get out and play with other members. That's OK by me as I joined this particular one to work on my game on a difficult course and I'm just fine playing with thpers
 
I don't see anything wrong with being approved to plau in the men's group. I know our group is like that, as is Bayhill's and Lake Nona's...etc. You just joined and it will take some effort of your part to seek out people that you might befriend. It's like any other club membership, you get out what you put in. I am sure if you attend some mixers or social events you will meet people and be invited to play.

This is exactly how I see it. You'll definitely get out what you put in.
 
You were invited into their group, so why not play a few rounds with them and get to know everyone? I don't find it all that odd, as many clubs have established groups and tee times, so some of them may be selective at who they let in to join, especially if they don't know you'll be sticking around.

Like others have said, all clubs have a general attitude about them and the key is to figure out whether it's some where you would like to be. When I was a member at one, I enjoyed playing by myself but would join tournaments and drink with other members and I enjoyed my time there. I knew when the more established groups would tee off and had no interest in joining them. They had their group and I was fine playing as a single or joining up with a group as play dictated.

The bottom line though is if you don't feel comfortable there after your year is up, go elsewhere. Until then, get a sense of the place, be friendly and hang out with everyone to figure it out.
 
I'm on the side of Dan & Freddie here. If I join a club it's because I want access to golf on my schedule and enjoy the benefits. I'm not joining a club for the social aspect or to be accepted by the reigning men's group. I'm fully confident I'll make friends and eventually be asked to join a group if I were a member somewhere. If I wasn't it wouldn't be the the end or a reason to not renew.
 
When we joined our club, the pro told me about all the different groups & offered to introduce me to any of them I'd be interested in joining.

It really helped break the ice & I've been playing with a regular group ever since.
 
When we joined our club, the pro told me about all the different groups & offered to introduce me to any of them I'd be interested in joining.

It really helped break the ice & I've been playing with a regular group ever since.

I agree that the key is talking with the pro and pro shop staff and seeing if intros can be made. Showing up to club events is also a great way to meet people. Or perhaps just being around the putting green and range - I've struck up conversations with a bunch of nice people that way as well.
 
I'm curious what the conversation would have been like if you hadn't been approved to join the group, and what do they use to decide if someone gets approved or not.
 
Really sucks to read this. I was fearful of the same thing happening to me, but it's been the complete opposite. This is my first year (I signed on for 3 years) at a private country club. I expected to be looked at weird as a new guy with tattoos. I have half sleeves on both arms down nearly to my elbows. I'd say 85% of the members have been great & extremely welcoming. Even going as far as coming to my table & introducing themselves as I'm eating lunch after a round. I've played golf with a lot of new people this year. I'm always urged to join them to play or "make sure you play in events so more people get to know you" type stuff. To my surprise, the 85% that I've encountered seem genuinely interested in getting to know you. I really thought I'd be fighting an uphill battle, but to be honest, this place is MUCH less snooty than the public place I was a member at for nearly 10 years. There's guys at my old public club that have NEVER spoken a word to me in all the time I was a member.

Somehow, I hope it all gets better & you can enjoy all the club has to offer.
 
I joined a new club this year as well and have found that the members are all pretty open and accepting. I suggest introducing yourself as the "new guy" to as many members as possible. Im willing to bet that most of the members are actually pretty cool but just a little shy. If you introduce yourself you make it easier for them to interact with you.
 
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