I think what makes this worse, especially for me seeing how my family is susceptible to this horrible disease is the realization that I may pass this gene onto my daughter.
Dementia SUCKS!!!
One of a parent's worst fears.
But, MOST people that get this disease get it late in life. That's always the hope anyway.
As for those I have watched go through this, my wife's mother and both her brothers as well as her younger sister, all had/have it. That's a pretty good sign that the rest of the family below them will likely have it.
We don't have kids to pass it on to, but we also don't have kids to take care of us. So, we will be looking into long-term care insurance in a few more years (Dave Ramsey says to get it when you are 60, as long as family history doesn't prove you should get it earlier).
annsguy
Well-known member
We moved my mother in law from Florida to Charlotte about two years ago. At the time she had noticeable dementia. My wife and I both work and were fortunate to find a senior community for her thats only a mile from our house. She didn't want to go there at first but now she loves it. In the time she's been in NC her memory has deteriorated to a significant degree. It is extremely hard to deal with for all involved. It is easy to become depressed trying to make the situation better. There are moments of joy and remembrance but it's best to follow the professionals advice and step away from time to time for your own mental health.
jacobs
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Dementia is so hard to watch, and I totally understand how you all feel. My grandmother has it too, and it's been tough. She's changed so much, and it's caused a lot of problems for our family. It can feel overwhelming at times. I am really tired of that, mixed feelings. If you're dealing with something similar, I recommend checking out Canadian Pharmacy Partner. They offer affordable medications that could help manage symptoms, and their services are really reliable. It’s one less thing to stress about when you're already going through so much.
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Quickstrike
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My moms Dementia didn't start until she started on Statin's.
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i will say, at least for us, the more positive energy and the more time she spends with people really perks her up. my mom has been calling my wife every morning for probably a couple of months now. sometimes it is 30 mins and sometimes it is over an hour and you can just tell from that phone call how her mental awareness is from beginning to end. she starts out kinda slow but by the end she is rattling off things from 30 years ago and talking about everything under the sun.
I took Stations for 20 years in Sydney with no side effects, I'd tried others but had problems but I was very lucky because my Doctor was extremely good and I had a very good Cardiologist. In NZ no such luck plus the Gastapo run Health here and you can't change your Doctor unless you move to another town
bastard's couldn't organise a root in a brothel efffing useless...
Living in the US and going through the home Healthcare dramas through my step-dad while he cared for mum was shocking.I took Stations for 20 years in Sydney with no side effects, I'd tried others but had problems but I was very lucky because my Doctor was extremely good and I had a very good Cardiologist. In NZ no such luck plus the Gastapo run Health here and you can't change your Doctor unless you move to another town
He needed way more home help, but they basically waited until something happened (another fall) before they'd try to help. Kiwi Healthcare isn't what I remember
So sorry to hear this @AndyL05 
my grandmother had it. My aunt was taking care of her for a while, but she started leaving the house on her own when no one was looking. In the middle of the night, she would wander the neighborhood in her nightgown. The police found her and luckily returned her home unharmed. Got so bad, my mother and her siblings had to put her in a nursing home. She didn't recognize any of her children. Thought my mother was her long ago deceased sister.
Yes ... it does suck
I don't wish that on anyone
my grandmother had it. My aunt was taking care of her for a while, but she started leaving the house on her own when no one was looking. In the middle of the night, she would wander the neighborhood in her nightgown. The police found her and luckily returned her home unharmed. Got so bad, my mother and her siblings had to put her in a nursing home. She didn't recognize any of her children. Thought my mother was her long ago deceased sister. Yes ... it does suck
I don't wish that on anyone
I lost my mother to dementia a couple years ago. My dad and brother took care of her for almost five years after she lost all memory of our family. They had a fantastic AM/PM routine, I was so very thankful for their care of her!!!
As far as I know, my mother is the only person in my family tree who's had dementia.
As far as I know, my mother is the only person in my family tree who's had dementia.
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Yeah, my MIL is getting it badly now. They basically do nothing for it in Sweden too (single payer healthcare is terrible). My mother was starting to show signs, but unfortunately she had an aggressive cancer and passed away quite suddenly earlier this year.
Quickstrike
Well-known member
I’m glad you had no side effects. She was diagnosed with Parkinsons, they put her on meds then said it wasn’t. She got another opinion and she does have Parkinsons. It’s been frustrating and sad seeing her not recognize my brother on FaceTime.I took Stations for 20 years in Sydney with no side effects, I'd tried others but had problems but I was very lucky because my Doctor was extremely good and I had a very good Cardiologist. In NZ no such luck plus the Gastapo run Health here and you can't change your Doctor unless you move to another town
I remember my first trip back not long after pandemic 'ended', mum was on different meds and she didn't know I was her son, she recognized my brother. Heartbreaking.
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Not as tough as you but my MIL has asked several times on different trips who I am. Last time (at Christmas) she asked her daughter (my wife) “who is that man sitting in my dining room? Such a strange feeling.
Not for nothing, we all remember when our mum lost their **** on you as a kid, it hits different when you're a stranger to her in your home.
Both my father and step-mother are showing signs yet have not been diagnosed. Back around Thanksgiving they went for a drive that was 15 minutes away and ended up over 2 1/2 hours away in Pismo Beach, Ca. Just tonight my dad went missing and luckily I had his iPhone saved in “Find My” and when I got to his location the sheriffs office was already there. He locked his keys in his car and couldn’t figure how to get them out so he decided to try and break the windshield.
He’s 88 and always been active. Was diagnosed with skin cancer around the head/face/ears. Has had tons of radiation therapy. He hasn’t been the same since.
He’s 88 and always been active. Was diagnosed with skin cancer around the head/face/ears. Has had tons of radiation therapy. He hasn’t been the same since.
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Wow. We have all heard of or dealt with our loved ones going through this doing strange things, but wow. That's not something I would have thought of.
Are you guys going to be taking the keys away? I mean, they made it to Pismo just fine, which isn't an easy drive depending on the route they took, but wow.
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Friend's mother was in deep and towards the end she would get out the guns (no ammo in the house!) and if anyone she didn't know would come close, she was gonna shoot 'em. That was in Montana. The whole ordeal can be a bit stressful!
Another PSA: I didn’t mean to mislead anyone regarding Hospice being available for all dementia patients in the US. They typically only come into the picture and are covered under Medicare if the prognosis is 6 months or less.
I had misspoke and said that “hospice wasn’t only for end of life care” and meant to say it “wasn’t only for end of life care for cancer patients.”
Hospice of the Valley has been helping with my father-in-law and they have been great.
I had misspoke and said that “hospice wasn’t only for end of life care” and meant to say it “wasn’t only for end of life care for cancer patients.”
Hospice of the Valley has been helping with my father-in-law and they have been great.
Hospice is a word that's poorly understood.
At home mum went into palliative care, which 'normally' means end of life care but it also included hospital level care.
Brutal disease, but my father-in-law is no longer suffering. Hospice was a big help this last month.
Larry Charles Brewer
August 27, 1941 – May 16, 2025
Larry Charles Brewer, 83, of Gilbert, Arizona, passed away on May 16, 2025. Born in Kansas City, Missouri, Larry grew up with a sharp mind, a strong work ethic, and a dry wit that stayed with him all his life.
He attended the Missouri University of Science and Technology in Rolla, becoming part of one of the first classes to graduate with a degree in computer science. He went on to spend more than three decades at IBM, starting with Selectric typewriters and finishing his career in mainframe support. He was known for mentoring younger colleagues and for his eye for detail, along with a healthy dose of sarcasm about corporate life.
Larry married Diana, the love of his life, and together they shared 53 years of marriage. They raised two children, Jenni and Tom. He wrote often about the joy and mess of family life, including holidays, road trips, pets, garden experiments, and neighborhood adventures. He found meaning in the ordinary and humor in just about everything.
After retiring, Larry kept busy hiking, journaling, fine-tuning his compost piles, and venting about politics and poorly installed cable. He questioned authority, valued honesty, and had little patience for nonsense. He was sharp, funny, thoughtful, and deeply loyal to the people he loved.
Larry is survived by his wife of 53 years, Diana Brewer; his daughter, Jenni Callahan (Sean); his son, Tom Brewer (Brandy); and five grandchildren who brought him great joy.
Private services will be held.
Larry Charles Brewer
August 27, 1941 – May 16, 2025
Larry Charles Brewer, 83, of Gilbert, Arizona, passed away on May 16, 2025. Born in Kansas City, Missouri, Larry grew up with a sharp mind, a strong work ethic, and a dry wit that stayed with him all his life.
He attended the Missouri University of Science and Technology in Rolla, becoming part of one of the first classes to graduate with a degree in computer science. He went on to spend more than three decades at IBM, starting with Selectric typewriters and finishing his career in mainframe support. He was known for mentoring younger colleagues and for his eye for detail, along with a healthy dose of sarcasm about corporate life.
Larry married Diana, the love of his life, and together they shared 53 years of marriage. They raised two children, Jenni and Tom. He wrote often about the joy and mess of family life, including holidays, road trips, pets, garden experiments, and neighborhood adventures. He found meaning in the ordinary and humor in just about everything.
After retiring, Larry kept busy hiking, journaling, fine-tuning his compost piles, and venting about politics and poorly installed cable. He questioned authority, valued honesty, and had little patience for nonsense. He was sharp, funny, thoughtful, and deeply loyal to the people he loved.
Larry is survived by his wife of 53 years, Diana Brewer; his daughter, Jenni Callahan (Sean); his son, Tom Brewer (Brandy); and five grandchildren who brought him great joy.
Private services will be held.
So sorry for your loss...
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So sorry
Sucks, but it's always a good thing to know they are no longer suffering. That is a help when remembering them the way they were before the disease hit them.