Friendliness and Feeling "Welcome" At A Golf Course

[icroth]

I don't post too often here, but I do love reading everyone's posts and thought that someone here could comment on a thought I had today after a round of golf at Atlantis Golf Club in Tuckerton, New Jersey....
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Getting to play a round of golf is a real treat for me. Financially, I can't afford to shell out for a round or 2 every weeks. That's ok though because I'm kind of new to the game and don't want to get in anyone's way. I've played 5 times (today was the 5th) and have never shot a real admirable score, but is there something to be said for the friendliness and welcoming attitude of staff at a golf course? Every time I've gone to play, at 3 different courses, I've always felt like I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. I know I'm not great, but I always get the feeling that I shouldn't take too big of a divot, or look for my ball for too long, or mess up a bunker because someone on the staff will condemn me for it.

For example, today I played a round by myself. Due to COVID-19 tee times were split 20 minutes apart. I played behind 2 older men and never really got close to them. If I did get behind them I always waited until they cleared the area where I was going to shoot my next shot, took my practice swings, and hit and never thought second of it. The two men, dressed to the nines and ready for Sunday at Augusta, never looked back at me and never motioned me to play through so I just took my time. No big deal. At the end of the round the two men were waiting for me on the 18th green and it looked as though I owed them money. Before I had a chance to make some new friends and ask how their round went one of the men aggressively confronted me about my "playing etiquette." I was really taken aback and told the man that I just wanted to enjoy a cheap round of golf and never wanted to get in their way. The other man announced they didn't pay for their round because he was the superintendent. I politely apologized (for doing nothing wrong) but the two kept pestering me on the 18th.

For another example, I played a round at another golf course last month for around $25. I was really excited because it was a course I always drove by but have never gotten to play. When I went to the clubhouse to book a tee time, because there was no online setup, I asked what was the earliest time the gentleman had available. He was rather standoffish and said to me "that wasn't how it worked" and he'd get me out when he said so. Now, I might be a p**sy and non-confrontational, but sincerely I didn't know that was how it was supposed to work. In addition, on my way to the first tee, a groundskeeper approached me during my practice swings and rather rudely explained to me that if I drove the golf cart too close to any tee box there was going to be a problem.

I'm typing all this just to see if anyone else has had these sort of problems. Are all golf courses run by pompous snobs and wanna-be USGA starters? Or is it that they can tell that I'm a high handicap and therefor a risk to their golf course and others? The way I see it, I pay the same amount of money as everyone else (in the case of today I paid more) and should feel like I am welcome on their golf course no matter how good or bad I am. Does anyone else feel like when they play they are "legally trespassing" on someone else's turf? Please let me know if I'm in the wrong for being polite and oblivious to how certain golf courses do things or if I just need to grow a pair and stand-up for the money I paid.

 

[PentaKev]

I don't understand. What did you supposedly do wrong? Specifically.

 

[OGputtnfool]

I don't understand. What did you supposedly do wrong? Specifically.

Seems like that's a good question. If I were the OP, I'd list the names of the clubs so others in the area would know to avoid them. That's no way to run any business.

 

[icroth]

I don't understand. What did you supposedly do wrong? Specifically.

It was my interpretation that during today's round (with the presumptuous Superintendent and his cronies at Atlantis Golf Club in Tuckerton, NJ) they were upset that I, a single player, was playing too close to them. I followed what I understood to be normal golfing kindness and waited until they were clear of my landing area before starting my shot. Most of the round, I'd say 13 holes of which, I wasn't within a hole of them and never noticed them. I was shocked because I really thought that I was doing the right thing!

On the other day, in the clubhouse (at Ocean Acres Golf Club), I have no idea what he was referencing. I didn't see a way to sign up online so when I went into the clubhouse and asked what time's the man had available he gave me that response. The groundskeeper must've been having a rough day, because my cart, the one he said not to get too close to the tee box, was on the other side of a fence 30 feet away from the tee.

I really want to know why whenever I go to enjoy a round I always run into snobby folks out to either assert some unwarranted dominance or flaunt their power.

 

[OGputtnfool]

It was my interpretation that during today's round (with the presumptuous Superintendent and his cronies at Atlantis Golf Club in Tuckerton, NJ) they were upset that I, a single player, was playing too close to them. I followed what I understood to be normal golfing kindness and waited until they were clear of my landing area before starting my shot. Most of the round, I'd say 13 holes of which, I wasn't within a hole of them and never noticed them. I was shocked because I really thought that I was doing the right thing!

On the other day, in the clubhouse (at Ocean Acres Golf Club), I have no idea what he was referencing. I didn't see a way to sign up online so when I went into the clubhouse and asked what time's the man had available he gave me that response. The groundskeeper must've been having a rough day, because my cart, the one he said not to get too close to the tee box, was on the other side of a fence 30 feet away from the tee.

I really want to know why whenever I go to enjoy a round I always run into snobby folks out to either assert some unwarranted dominance or flaunt their power.

I never ran into behavior to that extent in the 8 years I lived there, but I'll tell you in the 2.5+ since I moved from NJ to OK, the average kindness level of the people I deal with on a daily basis has risen greatly.

 

[Snickerdog]

Generally if I go to a course and get treated the way you describe I won't go back. I will also write a review about the experience so others know.

 

[YukonLiving]

That’s surprising behaviour. I’ve never experienced that before... usually folks are just happy to see another golfer out so long as you’re not taking jumps in the cart Jackass style.

Those guys probably just had a garbage round and were looking for any excuse.

Helps to have a little friendly banter, I find anyway.

 

[YukonLiving]

Generally if I go to a course and get treated the way you describe I won't go back. I will also write a review about the experience so others know.

100% this.

 

[icroth]

That’s surprising behaviour. I’ve never experienced that before... usually folks are just happy to see another golfer out so long as you’re not taking jumps in the cart Jackass style.

Those guys probably just had a garbage round and were looking for any excuse.

Helps to have a little friendly banter, I find anyway.

I definitely agree! I generally pretty friendly and will always try to at least say hello and ask how someone's round is going if I encounter anyone else. I was going to ask these two gentlemen how their round had went considering I only saw them play maybe 5 holes at the most. I also figured they didn't let me play through because we were so close to the end anyway. But, instead I was greeted with a scolding. And these are just two stories of encounters I've had!

 

[YukonLiving]

I definitely agree! I generally pretty friendly and will always try to at least say hello and ask how someone's round is going if I encounter anyone else. I was going to ask these two gentlemen how their round had went considering I only saw them play maybe 5 holes at the most. I also figured they didn't let me play through because we were so close to the end anyway. But, instead I was greeted with a scolding. And these are just two stories of encounters I've had!

I wouldn’t let it bother me too much. Chalk it up to some people will be...

When I started going on my own as an adult, I made sure to say hello to anyone who looked my way. Helps though that it’s a couple smaller courses and you eventually see the same people again and again during the season and you start to build rapport. Positivity goes a long way.

 

[Muchmore]

Every course has those people that think they are the best thing to walk the course at the moment. The employees aren't usually like that though so that's some bad luck encounters you've had. The majority of the golfing population I've found to be very friendly so just keep at it an you'll run in to the nice ones! More interaction here and I have no doubt you'll find great people as well! And hey, you could always look to enter THP event contests too, that way I can guarantee you will have an absolutely incredible time golfing with some great people

 

[WLG1952]

I have played golf for a few decades. I have seen my fair share of arrogance, and pompous attitudes.

For some reason, some golfers, and course employees think these ignorant attitudes are a part of every day golfing. They tend to think they are better than anyone else, which of course they are not. I suspect these types of people have been around since before golf became a more public affair. I also suspect these types of people will continue to be around in golf for future decades.

When I run into ignorance at a golf course, I just shine it on, grin about it, and move on with my own golf game. I basically just ignore arrogant, pompous people no matter whenever I find them. I have found great satifaction over the years when at the end of "some rounds", my score card looked better than ignorant person(s) I was paired with.

 

[Brucem609]

I have played both of those courses in the past. They both have some Interesting holes. But the attitude and pestering is nit necessary and uncalled for. Rudeness on the golf course is unacceptable.
Now that being said....a single has no “right of way” on a golf course, but if you are playing well, a deuce could be nice
Let you through.
additionally if you have a group behind you up your A** for a few holes you can say something on a tee box to the fact, hey if you guys want to go through and pick up the pace, I’m all for it.
we had a 4 some behind us hit into our group 3 times and each time we spoke to them. The 4th time I hit it back to them. We waited in the next tee box and told them to please be gentlemen and respect the game and the etiquette.
they complied the rest of the 4 holes.
Bad attitude from staff, and poor manner on the course is counterproductive to a good time on the course.
Take your money elsewhere

 

[BigMac]

I've played golf for around 35 years. Have run into my share of pompous/inconsiderate a-holes, but it sounds like you just had a couple of unusually bad experiences back to back. Rest assured that all of golf isn't like that. It's just like anything else in life, a few bad apples give everybody else a bad name. I definitely agree that I'd leave a bad review for those courses so other people see it, though.

 

[Mr Moke]

Yes I have had similar experiences, it’s unfortunate.

 

[G-Man]

I only play Muni type courses. So all are friendly. Even today was running late with family items jumped in the car and have a call saying I'd miss my tee time and knew they were extremely busy. The guys behind my desk said no problem, starter tried to sluff me off as a missed tee time but considered it again and sent me off.

Usually groups ahead are fun as I am polite and courteous. Behind as long as distance is met sounds good...I keep my play up

 

[Maric]

I think we've all run into this from time to time. As a new golfer it can be unnerving because you're not familiar with all the etiquette, I know I felt this way.

 

[redneckwop]

Don't let a couple of bad outings stop you from playing. People can be a**holes in all areas of life. I've had the marshal tell us we need to speed it up & we are waiting on the group in front of us. Keep playing & enjoy the game. You ever get a chance come to the Grand Junction are & play, it's always enjoyable.

 

[icroth]

I have played golf for a few decades. I have seen my fair share of arrogance, and pompous attitudes.

For some reason, some golfers, and course employees think these ignorant attitudes are a part of every day golfing. They tend to think they are better than anyone else, which of course they are not. I suspect these types of people have been around since before golf became a more public affair. I also suspect these types of people will continue to be around in golf for future decades.

When I run into ignorance at a golf course, I just shine it on, grin about it, and move on with my own golf game. I basically just ignore arrogant, pompous people no matter whenever I find them. I have found great satifaction over the years when at the end of "some rounds", my score card looked better than ignorant person(s) I was paired with.

By the look of that gentleman's swing, I could definitely tell that ANY 30 handicaper had a better day than he did!

 

[icroth]

I have played both of those courses in the past. They both have some Interesting holes. But the attitude and pestering is nit necessary and uncalled for. Rudeness on the golf course is unacceptable.
Now that being said....a single has no “right of way” on a golf course, but if you are playing well, a deuce could be nice
Let you through.
additionally if you have a group behind you up your A** for a few holes you can say something on a tee box to the fact, hey if you guys want to go through and pick up the pace, I’m all for it.
we had a 4 some behind us hit into our group 3 times and each time we spoke to them. The 4th time I hit it back to them. We waited in the next tee box and told them to please be gentlemen and respect the game and the etiquette.
they complied the rest of the 4 holes.
Bad attitude from staff, and poor manner on the course is counterproductive to a good time on the course.
Take your money elsewhere

It really is a shame because, as you probably know, both the OA course and Atlantis are NO Pebble Beach or Bethpage Black. These are cheap rounds of golf for any handicap to go and have a nice day and the courses conditions definitely reflect that. I kinda like going because I know somewhere deep down inside it's a stressfree round but after today's Close Encounter of the Jackass Kind I don't know if I will look at the place the same.

 

[ArmyGolf]

There are a**holes everywhere, and golf is no exception.
Don't let it get you down or put you off. Keep putting yourself out there and you'll start running into all the great people who enjoy golf.

 

[TheDoctor]

Unfortunately you will come across courses/people like this at times, even to the point that some people think you shouldn't be allowed on a course unless you are at a certain level of ability and have proven it by taking some sort of test
Complete bull in my opinion as it does more to turn people off taking up golf than it does to encourage them to play

If a course makes you feel unwelcome I would simply not go back again, and maybe do what @Snickerdog says and write a review, but don't be aggresive with it, just state the facts to let people know you were made to feel unwelcome - any decent course will take steps to rectify that situation because if they need to rely on green fees and people don't want to play because they have a bad reputation, they won't survive

Now that being said....a single has no “right of way” on a golf course, but if you are playing well, a deuce could be nice

A single has exactly the same rights as any other group on the course

we had a 4 some behind us hit into our group 3 times and each time we spoke to them. The 4th time I hit it back to them. We waited in the next tee box and told them to please be gentlemen and respect the game and the etiquette.

Nice way to be as irresponsible as the group behind

 

[USAF Retired]

Generally if I go to a course and get treated the way you describe I won't go back. I will also write a review about the experience so others know.

Agreed. Go somewhere else, as there's plenty of courses that make you feel welcome!

 

[Phil75070]

A single has exactly the same rights as any other group on the course

Exactly! The Rules USED to state that a single "had no standing" but that changed several revisions ago. Etiquette calls for slower groups to let faster groups play through and a single is now considered a "group".

To the OP, not knowing exactly how close you came to the gentlemen you were following and the attitude of the guy in the clubhouse regarding getting out on the course. part of it may be that people are a little on edge with this COVID-19 situation. Some courses aren't even allowing walk-ups, people who do not have a tee time either booked on line or by phone in advance. So when the guy says it doesn't work that way it may just be due to restrictions put in place to maintain safety for everyone during this pandemic.

As others have said, I would either not go back, write a bad review or maybe go back and talk to the GMs about your experiences. They might provide an explanation at the very least, possibly apologize or even offer you some compensation such as a free round of golf. You never know.

 

[Luchnia]

Always can be some jerks around. What often surprises me is how someone that pays the same money as I do to play thinks they have sort of throne sitting so far above me and I need to bow down to them. What is it that makes that person need to be superior to others fascinates me. I simply let them have their say and move on. Life is too short to have a bad day because of jerks.

Late last year, me and a buddy was playing a local course were you have several road crossings in extremely quiet residential areas. We hit a ball just over the edge of the road in the ditch. It was near a cul-de-sac so we took the cart down about 50 feet (if that) and turned around and came up the edge carefully and picked up the ball. Next thing you know here comes the marshal and tells us we are not allowed to have the cart on the roads.

I apologized to the marshal and thanked him for letting us know and that we were unaware of the rule there concerning carts. It was as obvious as the day is long that the guy needed something the grump about and we just happened to be near enough to him to be his grump target. You could also tell he simply did not want to be there that day.

Later my buddy laughed and said to me, "so do we pick the cart up while we cross the road from now on?" We both got a chuckle out of it and each time we cross roads on golf courses we both look at each other and make a remark about like, hey, road crossing - we need to stop and carry the cart across the road.