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Funny things on the course that make you laugh to yourself?

I definitely am "that guy".

This might be kind of a "you had to be there story"... Waiting at the tee on a par 5 with the group ahead about 230 yards out. I don't normally hit that far but will on occasions, so I wait. Guy and his wife pull up in a cart behind me, the husband yells (not in a bad way) to go ahead and hit my tee shot because I'll never reach them. I yell back that I don't want to take the chance of hitting into them, that I'm going to wait. He tells me again there's no way I'll reach them. I offer to let him play through but he doesn't want to.

Thirty seconds later, the group clears and with the couple behind watching... I of course hit the wimpiest slice ever that, needless to say, doesn't get anywhere near to the spot the group was at.

After finishing the hole, I wait for the couple to pull up to the cart path just to explain I didn't want to take the chance (the fact that I felt the need to do that is kind of silly). But before I say a word, he immediately starts apologizing, tells me he shouldn't have opened his mouth, that his wife got on his #!@% for saying something... she's shaking her head and rolling her eyes. We laugh at the situation - my shot, him regretting saying something. We shake hands and go about our business.
 
hailoffire said:
Drunk people make me laugh to myself on the course.

My son and I played a round back in July and it was hot as hell and humid. We were both chugging water and Gatorade the whole time. We came up on 16 which is a par 3 and we see a twosome under a tree sitting in the mulch, Indian style. They muttered something at us and waved us through. We had no idea what was going on. I teed up my ball and in my backswing a slurred "goo shart!" was yelled (good shot for sober folks). Before we headed to the green...we offered some water and both declined saying they had found the secret which was 3 beers and then 1 gatorade. I dont know if they finished or passed away right there but we still laugh about how ****faced they both were.
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It’s all well and good until they’re obviously in it for the beer, are on pace for a 4.5 hour nine (yes 9), won’t let you through, and then throw their putter and charge at you from 170 yards away when you holler at them to hurry up or let you through (yes I was being a bit of an ass but it shouldn’t take half an hour a hole to play golf under any circumstance).

Funny thing was it ended up being that I’m back to back neighbors with the one guy that did the “I’m holding you back bro” dance with another guy that lives right down the road that charged at me. I’m good with him now, in fact last Wednesday night(??) I got home from work about 10:30 PM and he was having some sort of a hot tub party and just blaring music as well as having flashing lights (guys in his 50’s, lol). I acted the part of the Richard neighbor and went storming out my back door charged over and yelled “turn the **** down! My kids are trying to sleep!” Then I smiled and said just messin, crank it louder for all I care. He had a good laugh becuase after that incident on the course I don’t think he knows how to take me. He does now:)
 
I want to add a new one to the list for the current circumstances:

People who roll a putt over the edge of the cup and say “if that foam wasn’t in there that putt would have went in”.
 
I always laugh about the perceived misgivings of the group in front of you.

they are slow, take too many practice swings, line up too many putts, wait too long for the green to clear, just suck at golf, and are basically just a bunch of morons.

meanwhile, there’s a group behind you saying the same things about you...
 
I chuckle at the people who move every shot just a little even if not improving the lie. They've cheated themselves so long it's a habit.
 
The guy who insists on playing the back tees and never gets it past the forward tees....

Golf is hard enough, why punish yourself even more?
 
I love when I get to the realizization that I'm really not that good and at times I take the game way to seriously. It is a good feeling when you give yourself grace to simply laugh at your own dumb-assity.
 
Guys teeing up at the tips like pros that really suck big time and lucky if they hit it 175-200 out - hilarious!
 
Sean said:
I don't know if it's funny or sad, but when I see guys my age (almost 65), or a bit younger, hitting on the cart girl. As if they have any kind of shot. They are simply embarrassing themselves.
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I occasionally play with a guy who's pushing 60, and is no prize. He still thinks he's a lady killer and we almost have to pry him away from slobbering all over the cart girl. He's happily married and would never cheat on his wife, but he just likes to feel like he's still got it. He thinks he's funny and smooth, but it's actually painful to watch.
 
Snowman said:
I occasionally play with a guy who's pushing 60, and is no prize. He still thinks he's a lady killer and we almost have to pry him away from slobbering all over the cart girl. He's happily married and would never cheat on his wife, but he just likes to feel like he's still got it. He thinks he's funny and smooth, but it's actually painful to watch.
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I have seen the type. It boggles the mind how they deceive themselves.
 
Playing at the muni with random and asking “ where do you usually play?” “Augusta National, Pebble Beach, Prairie Dunes, Pinehurst....”
 
I’m always chuckling at the sign that reminds people to fix their ballmarks.
 
This guy I have played with before, a good friend of my brother, has a hard trouble counting past 6.
The last time we played we were in a par 5 and he was far left everybody else in the fairway. We played and went to go help look. When we got there he said I got it. Picked it up from the scrub brush and put it in the rough. Duffed 1(that’s 3 now) next one in the fairway (4) green side (5) on the green (6) 2 putt (7-8)
When asked for scores he hollered out 6! I looked at my brother and said HUH?

then we were on a par 3 over water. His first one in the water. 1 in 2 out hitting 3. Ok well he dropped in the green side of the water (benefit call it 3) chip on (4) lag out 10 feet past (5) short (6) tap in (7) Harry what you have “gimmie a 6, that tap in doesn’t count!” I look at my brother again and like WTF?
At the bar-Harry what you finish with? He responded 84!
i just laughed.... cause I had an 85 and I knew if several that he didn’t count!
 
Brucem609 said:
This guy I have played with before, a good friend of my brother, has a hard trouble counting past 6....
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I used to play with a guy like that years ago. My attitude is if we're not playing for money and not in a tournament, I couldn't care less what you want to write down on the scorecard - that's on you (we weren't keeping handicaps at the time). He'd slice it OB off the tee, drop one out in the fairway without taking a penalty stroke, top it two or three times, use the 'foot wedge' from behind trees, hit into a bunker, take three or four strokes in it and then toss the ball out onto the green and proceed to three putt, and when I asked his score he'd say "Gimme a 6". I didn't care until he started crowing after the round about beating me. I'm not afraid of losing, but if I'm gonna lose it's going to be fair and square and we're going to play by the same rules.

He wasn't very happy our next round when I started calling him on all his BS and writing down his actual scores. He asked when did I become "Mister Rules Guy", and I said "When you started bragging about beating me when you're cheating your a** off". I don't remember the exact score, but I beat him by about 15-20 strokes that day. He kept his mouth shut from then on out.
 
I was golfing with two Japanese guys. After each hole when they got bsck in their cart, they, in their own language, would start yapping with each other about their score for that hole. I had know idea what they were saying, but it sounded much more important than it needed to be.

If any one remembers watching the movie Donovan's Reef, and the Asian characters playing that broken slot machine, that's a perfect example.
 
Brucem609 said:
This guy I have played with before, a good friend of my brother, has a hard trouble counting past 6.
The last time we played we were in a par 5 and he was far left everybody else in the fairway. We played and went to go help look. When we got there he said I got it. Picked it up from the scrub brush and put it in the rough. Duffed 1(that’s 3 now) next one in the fairway (4) green side (5) on the green (6) 2 putt (7-8)
When asked for scores he hollered out 6! I looked at my brother and said HUH?

then we were on a par 3 over water. His first one in the water. 1 in 2 out hitting 3. Ok well he dropped in the green side of the water (benefit call it 3) chip on (4) lag out 10 feet past (5) short (6) tap in (7) Harry what you have “gimmie a 6, that tap in doesn’t count!” I look at my brother again and like WTF?
At the bar-Harry what you finish with? He responded 84!
i just laughed.... cause I had an 85 and I knew if several that he didn’t count!
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I occasionally play with a guy who is in some respects the opposite. He gets his own scores correct but, when I putt out for a 6, he will say “is that a 5 for you?”. It is always a lower score. If it was our first round together, I might think he was testing my honesty, but we have played numerous rounds together over the years and he always does it. He just can’t remember all of his opponent‘s shots. If I didn’t correct him and just put down the scores he suggests, I’d be a scratch golfer!
 
A course was so busy one day last year that they teamed me and my buddy up with 3 other dudes. 2 of them got so snot faced drunk by the back 9 they could hardly swing a club. What a total waste of my time. The only good thing that came out of it was that one of the guys was decent and he did not let the alcohol get to him.
 
Tee markers aimed at hazards intstead of fairways and watching people (usually my HS kids) set up to the tee marker instead of the golf hole.
 
Any time I see both carts on a hole parked right next to the person hitting, I laugh. Then I proceed to lose my mind and realize this is the reason the course is backed up so badly. People need to drive to their own ball and learn the ready play concept! Wait was this supposed to be a positive thought or a rant? Oops. :ROFLMAO:
 
I'd say the commercial of the golfer that says don't count that repeatedly is a great funny scene. I laugh when I play with one that works in finance and can't count to 6/7. Everytime it's pars and bogeys.

Or the guy that says he doesn't feel it togeayywith his driver because hes not hitting his 270+ bombs he usually does... Barley 225 Everytime I play... Always blames equipment and says he is upgrading.
 
The amount of practice swings some people take...very comical sometimes.
 
It makes me laugh, but it's something I do myself. We have a course by us that has a periscope by one of the tee boxes so you can see up and over the hill to make sure the group ahead is clear. I always think it's so cool to use, makes me feel like a kid to pretend I'm in a submarine or something. When I see it, I just have to laugh to myself.
 
Saw it a lot yesterday. 4somes of guys my age or younger, so 25-35, standing by their carry bags waiting on golf carts to go play but nobody on the tee. The whole parking lot was backed up. The cart kids was running around like crazy, wiping down carts and these guys just waiting. They get their cart and rush to the tee, to wait on the rest of the group.
I asked one guy i knew, if he’d ever thought of using those straps that came in his bag.


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Golfers that underestimate the club they will need for an approach into a stiff wind. I lived in a pretty calm area for 20 years and many of the golfers had this lack of wind awareness on the rare occasion it was really blowing. Many times they had zero chance of getting their shot to the green with the club they selected even if you gave them a bucket of balls. A lot of them simply wouldn’t play if the wind was over 10-12 mph, and if they did they were constantly bitching about the wind, lol.
 
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