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- Jun 13, 2017
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- White Mountains of AZ
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I'm the worst golfer I know. I don't say anything anymore. Figure it out yourself. I'm dealing with my own sh!t.
Golfing with good friends who are struggling.
I’ve played with worse. Checks your HC. Yup. I’ve played with much worse.
Cousin of mine. Sets up 45* left every shot. Doesn’t care about getting better. Never legit broke 130. Maybe not 150. Plays quick and has fun. I could actually help him but he doesn’t want it so I don’t.
Uncle just took up the game. Three range sessions, a thousand putts a day on my Putt Out Mat (dude get the F out of my living room sometimes!-yes I have a Putt Out Mat in my living room-I’m single!) and his first time on the course he breaks 100. As a 58 year old playing from 6600 on a 72.0/130 course.
He took the time to learn a mostly correct swing. And works (too much when it’s damn midnight) on his short game like crazy. Have a taught him much? Some. Mainly how to setup. How to properly practice. Mainly on the mental side of it. He is so knew he has seven hundred things going through his head. I see and smell smoke.
The one day he addressed the ball for at least 6-7 seconds on the range. I told him “back off, come here”. I smacked him playfully on the shoulder and told him to step up and hit the f’ing ball. He did without thinking and it was the best shot of the session.
Disclaimer-I was an Asst Pro for one illustrious season. I am somewhat qualified although I do not try to teach the full swing. If you’ve seen mine it’s ugly.
I had to teach my kids, but otherwise my goals when I help out are simple. 1. Make sure the person wants advice. 2. Offer only advice on things I know well enough to offer it. Generally that’s on simple stuff with beginners.
Dad likes to tell me what I’m doing wrong. Only problem is is he’s not right 50% of the time,
. Case in point, I’m hitting a 60 yard wedge shot and have an early season blade from a crap lie. Tells me my feet should be together. I tell him “no, but the closer I am the closer they’ll be on a normal shot”. 60 yards I don’t want my ankles rubbing. That’s a low spinner from the back of my stance usually. Feet slightly inside shoulder width. So I stick with advice that is wanted and I know something about. Will most people break 100 with three lifetime range sessions, three live short game sessions, and a thousand Putt Out Mat putts? Likely not. But with a modicum of athletic talent it can be done. He’s not bad at concentrating either.
Hell, I was on 100 watch my first round this year. Might be next, who knows? So far this year everything I did bad last year I’m good at. Everything I did good I now suck. But it’s early.
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2021
- Messages
- 326
- Reaction score
- 86
Im usually the best of the 4 when i go out and I know how to help people. I spend a lot of time watching people make mistakes. I try to avoid sounding like a know it all cause I hate those. If someone asks me if they are doing anything wrong during the swing, I might point out one thing and no more than that. My dad might ask, "how far is this club supposed to go, or do i hit a high or low shot here, Andy." I can tell him that answer but he never asks me about his swing. 
It was mostly a rhetorical question but you're exactly right, we want badly to help a friend who's frustrated and we think we can. There have been times when I've kept silent and hoped they would ask "what am I doing wrong".
I'm not saying the advice is always wrong. Certainly there have been times (when help is requested) that giving advice is both appropriate and helpful. But in my experience, unsolicited advice is often given as a specific move... in the middle of a round.... when someone is doing a lot of things wrong and just trying to execute to the best of their ability. From the person in that position of struggling, when asked "can I give you some advice", I will decline the advice with a "thanks but no thanks" (I'm not a lot of fun to play golf with, Lol)
If after the round that same playing partner were to ask "can I give you some advice", that would be great and well-received. IMO, that's the proper time to ask someone if they'd like some advice. And yes, I realize
5150
Well-known member
If people ask, I’ll usually say well I am no golf pro, but when I’ve struggled with <whatever their issue is>, sometimes it’s because of <whatever my root cause was>, but we’re all different.
If I notice a persistent alignment issue, like they consistently line up right of what I think their target line was, I’ll frame it as a question AFTER the shot - hey what was your target line there, and were you looking to draw, or fade, or...?
Gives them an opportunity to say well I lined up right because I’ve been pulling it, OR if they say I was looking dead center, I can say well, it looked like you were lined up down the right or something...
If I notice a persistent alignment issue, like they consistently line up right of what I think their target line was, I’ll frame it as a question AFTER the shot - hey what was your target line there, and were you looking to draw, or fade, or...?
Gives them an opportunity to say well I lined up right because I’ve been pulling it, OR if they say I was looking dead center, I can say well, it looked like you were lined up down the right or something...
My best method of helping others goes something like this...
"Let me show you what I mean" as I place a ball on the ground, go through my pre-shot routine, get into my address, and follow it up by the worst shot imaginable.
"Now if you want to play good golf whatever you do, don't do any of those things!"
"Let me show you what I mean" as I place a ball on the ground, go through my pre-shot routine, get into my address, and follow it up by the worst shot imaginable.
"Now if you want to play good golf whatever you do, don't do any of those things!"
My brother is a cancer to play with. He needs to work on anger management if you ask me. But he’s the type of person to turn around after a bad shot and scream, “WHAT THE F*** AM I DOING”.
It’s a rhetorical question I’ve come to learn, but after 2 or 3 of those I can’t help but chime in my advice as his attitude is annoying. I then get yelled at for coaching, yada yada. I can only play with him once a month or it kills my spirit.
Other than that I never give advice unless it’s asked an even then I don’t like to do it.
It’s a rhetorical question I’ve come to learn, but after 2 or 3 of those I can’t help but chime in my advice as his attitude is annoying. I then get yelled at for coaching, yada yada. I can only play with him once a month or it kills my spirit.
Other than that I never give advice unless it’s asked an even then I don’t like to do it.
5150
Well-known member
Haha... yeah... after years in project management, where I have to try to get people who DON'T report to me to get stuff done all that time, it's second nature to phrase things in ways that don't put people on the defensive... my family calls me out on it at home now when I do it. "Dad, you're doing the work thing, stop it."
One piece of feedback I save only for good friends:
After they sh@nk one or slice it into the parking lot and yell "WHAT THE FOUL FILTH FOUL FOUL FILTH AM I DOING AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!" I go with:
"Well... so I don't usually give advice, but if you want to know... see, on the takeaway here <start demonstrating>, on that last one, and a couple others here <demonstrate, waggle the club a bit more, pause for effect>...
...what you're doing is, well, you're just no good. At all."
I'm the shaft... It's black kind of person. I would like to know more but my reality is that I don't know where to begin and I don't have the brain to figure out that stuff unless I dive into it and I'm just so busy that I don't take the time to do it. It would be nice to know more about those things but I also want the help and tips from people I play with.
If I knew how to play better I would and I don't have such an ego that I get mad at others for trying to help me. I also play with people that offer advice like an adult rather than snide comments and a sarcastic attitude.
In short, if I ever play with any of you and you want to give me advice feel free to, just be mature about the delivery and I'll be mature about the reception.
Hamfist
I promise not to murder Canadan.
- Thread starter
- #66
Mature, eh? I don't think you've read many of my posts, lol. I'm an idiot.
As to where to begin to learn about all this tech voodoo, if you are a Youtube kinda person, there's a channel called "TXG Golf" might be just "TXG". Anywhoo, it's the channel of a fitting studio up in Canada, and it's main 2 people are Ian and Matt. And they do all kind of testing of shafts heads, etcetera with all kinds of cool info on the gear using swing data from the launch monitors. The episodes are usually around 20-25 minutes, and they speak in layperson lingo so we average golfers can understand them.
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2021
- Messages
- 326
- Reaction score
- 86
for those of us who play competatively, or maybe in your country clubs club championship, its nice to play in a foursome that has people who get along, and are near play level. If one person is too good it becomes a show. if one is too bad it becomes isolating or slows play.
This is a actually a tough topic. Struggling at golf can be very frustrating and some lock into a dour mood. Among many of my golf friends, we are generally open with each other, and everything from constructive feedback to trash talk is common. But reading the person is crucial. Some days the best option is to bite the lip and give a wide berth. I am also careful on feedback. I'm just a hack who loves golf.
Hamfist
I promise not to murder Canadan.
- Thread starter
- #69
As one who used to be a mopey a**hole when struggling, I completely understand this. As I've grown older, and realized it's all for fun, I don't let a bad round bring me down. I suppose that outlook may rub people wrong sometimes. when a friend is struggling, I tell them to not worry, have fun , use it as practice. Some people have a different mindset, though, in wanting to score as well as possible.
I wouldn't be giving them pointers or things, just encouragement and skme motivation. I do feel bad if its a day where my game is on because they then get even more frustrated.
Playing on Sunday with the boys so we'll see which of us leaves our game at home
Playing on Sunday with the boys so we'll see which of us leaves our game at home
I’ll only offer advice if asked, but why on earth would anyone who has seen my Jim Furyk-on-acid swing ask me for advice anyway?? :laughing: