Great TV/Movie quotes

Hey, I'm on first and first. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!
~Kramer, Seinfeld - The Maid
 
Chili's is the new golf course. It's where business happens. Small businessman magazine.

I just love sales. I love it to death. It's as simple as that. And I don't get to do it enough as a manager, so I took this second job. I count it as a hobby. Some people have golf, or relaxing.

The Office
 
"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

"She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."

---Say Anything
 
Willard: You know what it is, you've got an attitude problem.
Ren: Oh I've got an attitude problem?
Willard: Yes and I'm not the first one that's noticed it. I mean we're not stuck in the goddamn middle ages here. I mean we've got TV. We've got Family Feud. We're not stuck in Leave It To Beaver land here.
Ren: Well I haven't noticed a wet T-shirt contest in town yet.
Willard: Yeah but I'm waiting. Patiently.

Ariel: How come you don't like me?
Ren: What makes you think that I don't like you?
Ariel: You never talk to me at school. You never *look* at me!
Ren: Yeah, well maybe that's because if I did, your boyfriend would remove my lungs with a spoon.

---Footloose
 
How about everyone's favorite neighborino?

“Homer, affordable tract housing made us neighbors, but you made us friends.”
- - -
“I've done everything the Bible says - even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!”
- - -
Rod Flanders: Dad, can I have this shirt that says "Get Bent"?
Ned Flanders: Well, if that means to bend down and pray, sure!
- - -
Maude Flanders: Neddy, I've had just about all I can take of Homer Simpson's torso. I'll go get some hot dogs.
Ned Flanders: No foot-longs.
Maude Flanders: I know, they make you uncomfortable.
- - -
“Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends. Well, I say there are some things we don't want to know. Important things.“
- - -
- - -
Homer: "Could God microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself could not eat it?"
Ned Flanders: (perplexed, can't answer)

- - -
“Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middleman who jacked up the price, and let's not forget the humane but determined boys at the slaughterhouse.”
- - - -
Rex Banner: Are you the Beer Baron?
Ned Flanders: Well, if you're talking about root beer, I plead guilt-diddily-ildly as char-didily-arged.
Rex Banner: He's not the Baron, but he sounds drunk. Take him in.
- - - -
Ned Flanders: They've broken every commandment except one.
Carl: Hey Lenny, covet some chili fries?
Lenny: You bet.
Ned Flanders: That's it. The whole shebang.
- - - -
Homer: Oh, I'd sell my soul for a donut.
Ned Flanders: Well, that can be arranged.
Homer: What? Flanders. You're the devil?
Ned Flanders: Ho-ho, it's always the one you least suspect.

Kevin
 
Great TV/Movie quotes

'i'm gonna show her my o face...o...o...o....haha.....o'--office space


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"I got the guts, but the guts need fuel." Mickey Rourke as Henry in Barfly.

Kevin
 
"Aaaaaaaaasssssss Yyyyyyooooouuuuuu Wwwwwwiiiiiiisssshhhhh!"

"Hello my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"
 
Great TV/Movie quotes

Spank818 said:
"Aaaaaaaaasssssss Yyyyyyooooouuuuuu Wwwwwwiiiiiiisssshhhhh!"

"Hello my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"

Oh man, how could I miss Princess Bride!
 
Great TV/Movie quotes

'What's happening hot stuff?'--16 Candles


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Hell, everything's legal in Mexico. It's the American way.

Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.

I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.

Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly.
Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.

I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant!

You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog, straight tricks.


South Park
 
2 chicks at the same time - office space
 
"this is ceti alpha V!" "KHAN!" - star trek
 
I don't do drugs, just weed.

Half Baked
 
"Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?"

Mr. Rooney: "What's the score?"
Bartender: "Nothing - Nothing"
Mr. Rooney: "Who's winning?"
Bartender: "The Bears."

Ferris Buerller's Day Off

"OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!"
"YOU BASTARDS!!!"
 
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

The Silence of the Lambs
 
"king of the lab!" - bones
 
"What we have here...is a failure to communicate"
Cool Hand Luke
 
Kilgore: Smell that? You smell that?
Lance: What?
Kilgore: Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that.
[kneels]
Kilgore: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like
[sniffing, pondering]
Kilgore: victory. Someday this war's gonna end...
[suddenly walks off]
 
they drew first blood not me - rambo
 
Murray, lend me twenty dollars or I'll call your wife and tell her you're in Central Park wearing a dress.

The Odd Couple
 
"Matt Damon.....Matt Damon"--Team America
 
Dong, where is my automobile?
OTO MO BILLLLL??? Lake. Big lake. WRWRWRWRR. Crash.

No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.
 
The Punisher (w/ Tom Jane)

Candelaria: Vaya con Dios, Castle. Go with God.
Frank Castle: God's going to sit this one out.
 
you shall not passssssss - lord of the rings
 
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