High School golf tryouts - is this expected?

[Matthew]

That's just unfair. Everyone should be judged based on their performances during the tryouts, NOT past performances. Isn't that what they are doing at the US Olympic trials where your performance on that day matters and not your performance last week or last month? That's just IMHO.



My nephew is very well behaved and respectful, and he does not have bad attitude. Let not go there.



Not sure what you meant by that. My nephew beat three other kids who are seniors by at least five strokes. What you're suggesting is scores don't matter.



I complete agree with this post. Golf is sport where the your score is the most important thing. What else is more important than the lowest score? I would like to know.



My nephew is very well behaved and respectful, and he does not have bad attitude. Let not go there.



I get that life is unfair.


Update:

I talked to both my nephew and his mother, my younger sister, early this morning. Another mom of another kid who participated in the tryouts told her that the golf coach told the mom that if a new player who has no history with the team in previous years fails to crack the top 6th (that's the starting lineup), he/she will not make the team. In other words, my nephew needs to beat the top six players or he will not make the team. IMHO, that rule is grossly unfair but it is what it is, I guess.

I have a very long talk with my nephew this morning at my house. He drove over to my house for breakfast before going out to the driving range at 6:30am. I told him that not making the golf team is not his fault and that I will do everything I can to get him better. This is just a bump on the road, just keep working hard and he will be rewarded. I said to him that the best revenge is to be successful. I said to him: Imagine at next year golf tryouts, you beat the best golfer on the team, get selected for the team and you tell the coach "no thank you, I don't want to play on your golf team". That will be the ultimate revenge. Work hard for the next 12 months and you will have your revenge.

I am going to put together a plan to help him become one of the top golfers, if not the best, at next year golf tryouts.

- I am going to convert my garage into a golf place where he can practice everyday,
- I am going to purchase the Trackman 4 with all the features,
- I am going to have him look at by two more golf instructors to make sure he gets the correct instructions,
- Play golf everyday,
- Practice on the same golf course everyday where they hold the tryouts for four months prior to the tryouts,

My sister doesn't have the financial resource to do this but I do and I am going to make this my first and foremost priority in the next 12 months.

Granted not a parent nor coach but uncle to a former State champion gymnast niece. However, revenge? That's the answer? Come on man, that ain't going to help anything. Could he take the rejection and use it as a driving force for a more positive outcome?
Ask Anakin Skywalker how well a revenge driver works out.

 

[DougE]

If the requirement to make the team is strictly based on score alone, and formally announced as such, then yes, you may have a reason to raise a stink. I would.

As a coach though, when given the opportunity to get the best players on the squad, I'd look at more than that and yes, if I am familiar with the best players already from past experience, I will likely have spots for them, no matter what score they shoot in trials, realizing a higher score is not typical for them, having seen them compete (and win?) multiple times. They've already proven to me they have game. Everyone has a bad score from time to time. Just like everyone can shoot a great score too, regardless of their handicap. That's golf. Every day is different, as are the bounces in this game. Some good, some bad. To me, it's all-around ability. Maybe that's an unpopular view.

I play for fun from time to time against one of the top juniors in my state who goes back and forth between #1 and #2 on his HS team. (They win their conference most every year btw.) He can easily hit the ball 320 yards off the tee, rarely has more than a wedge in on most par 4s and has a wonderful short game too, not to mention great focus in big events, both high school and USGA-sanctioned. (Playing against me is not a big event for him.) Most days he is fairly straight with his driver. On the days he's not, he can rack up some high scores, simply by tacking on penalties. But he is a +2 index. You don't get to that without having a game. And you can just watch him and see it if you have the slightest eye for golf. He is definitely a player. Yet, on days when he's a touch off with his driver, I have been able to post a better score that him when I shot out of my mind. It happens. Would I leave him off the team because he couldn't score better than me on a specific day or days. Sorry, no way. I want the best team I can have.

If I had the ability, with a more sizeable budget for the golf program I WOULD definitely take more players on the team. Helping those who have the commitment and desire to improve is not only important, but truly satisfying (for most coaches) to see them make progress. Unfortunately, funds at some schools are limited and allow for only so many participants.

 

[golfguy2021]

Is this what your nephew wants or what you want?

That's what he wants. I just happen to have the financial resource to happily assist him with whatever he needs to succeed.

Granted not a parent nor coach but uncle to a former State champion gymnast niece. However, revenge? That's the answer? Come on man, that ain't going to help anything. Could he take the rejection and use it as a driving force for a more positive outcome?
Ask Anakin Skywalker how well a revenge driver works out.

Perhaps revenge is not the correct word to use. I should have used "use it as motivation" get better. Hopefully, he will get so much better in the next 12 months that he probably will not play HS golf.

 

[ttucliffhanger]

That's what he wants. I just happen to have the financial resource to happily assist him with whatever he needs to succeed.



Perhaps revenge is not the correct word to use. I should have used "use it as motivation" get better. Hopefully, he will get so much better in the next 12 months that he probably will not play HS golf.

If he is gets that good, why would he not play HS golf? It might open the door for a full ride to play in college.

 

[TheDoctor]

High School golf is supposed to be fun and make new friends but the coach takes that away from him.

I told him that he should be holding his head high and proud of what he did, knowing that he is better than the three seniors that are selected to the team.

Ok, looking at this from a complete outsider perspective - you say your nephew is better than the three seniors, but how do you truly know that? You know your nephew but not the three seniors who were picked, so have no idea if the seniors had a bad day on the course to shoot the scores they did

Just because your nephew scored better than those seniors in this particular instance doesn't make him better than them overall, and if the coach knows those players, he knows what they are capable of, but doesn't know if this single time from your nephew is the norm or if it was just a particularly good day for him....

Both sides have bias towards the people involved, and it reminds me of another phrase "It's not what you know, it's who you know", and in this instance, unfortunately, the coach knows those other players better than your nephew

Feeding him the revenge idea is absolutely the worst thing you can do for him in my opinion, and I could honestly see your plan of golf every day is more likely to turn your nephew off golf as it becomes a chore, especially if the goal is to simply tell the coach he doesn't want to play for the team in the future

Maybe slightly off-topic, but I am trying to draw a parallel here

Put yourself in the position of having to hire someone for a very specific job role and you have to choose between 2 applicants

Applicant 1 has been doing this type of job for a number of years and has practical experience of the role
Applicant 2 is fresh out of college with a formal qualification, but no experience of the role in a real world situation

Who would you pick?

In terms of your nephew and the seniors, they are Applicant 1 and your nephew is Applicant 2, and if I was hiring, I would be looking at Applicant 1 all day long as they have proved that they can do the job, and I think this is how the coach has looked at it

 

[golfguy2021]

If he is gets that good, why would he not play HS golf? It might open the door for a full ride to play in college.

HS school golf used to be good probably 20 years ago but that's not the case anymore, especially in the mid-Atlantic areas. There are so many Junior USGA tournaments for serious Junior golfers to play. I've not played golf long but I've seen a big difference between HS golf and Junior golf. Most kids who play HS golf just want to be there to make friends and they don't take it seriously. Most of the kids I see at places CCs are serious golfers.

Someone also mentioned tennis in this thread. The same is true with HS tennis until twenty ago. These days, the top tennis players rarely play HS school tennis. They play either USTA or UTR tennis tournaments. HS tennis is more like a AA compare to Major League Baseball (MLB).

 

[Molten]

High School golf is supposed to be fun and make new friends but the coach takes that away from him.

I told him that he should be holding his head high and proud of what he did, knowing that he is better than the three seniors that are selected to the team.

There is a ton of questionable in this post. The first portion of the sentence has nothing to do with the second - a junior in HS cannot have fun or make friends because they got cut from the golf team? And making the team or not doesn’t make someone better or worse than anyone.

 

[ttucliffhanger]

HS school golf used to be good probably 20 years ago but that's not the case anymore, especially in the mid-Atlantic areas. There are so many Junior USGA tournaments for serious Junior golfers to play. I've not played golf long but I've seen a big difference between HS golf and Junior golf. Most kids who play HS golf just want to be there to make friends and they don't take it seriously. Most of the kids I see at places CCs are serious golfers.

Someone also mentioned tennis in this thread. The same is true with HS tennis until twenty ago. These days, the top tennis players rarely play HS school tennis. They play either USTA or UTR tennis tournaments. HS tennis is more like a AA compare to Major League Baseball (MLB).

I have a friend who's son did both. It gave him the best shot at getting a full ride and also kept him practiced and pushing forward. I would suggest both if he decides it's something he wants to pursue in college. It would get him the most looks.

 

[RealPretendPsychic]

HS school golf used to be good probably 20 years ago but that's not the case anymore, especially in the mid-Atlantic areas. There are so many Junior USGA tournaments for serious Junior golfers to play. I've not played golf long but I've seen a big difference between HS golf and Junior golf. Most kids who play HS golf just want to be there to make friends and they don't take it seriously. Most of the kids I see at places CCs are serious golfers.

Someone also mentioned tennis in this thread. The same is true with HS tennis until twenty ago. These days, the top tennis players rarely play HS school tennis. They play either USTA or UTR tennis tournaments. HS tennis is more like a AA compare to Major League Baseball (MLB).

You said HS golf is supposed to be fun and make new friends, but then you talk about him going scorched earth, burning bridges, and not even playing HS golf. I was cut from every HS and regional basketball and soccer team I tried out for as a freshman and ended up finding my niche in springboard diving. I dedicated time to the sport before and after to school, made lifelong friends, and ended up diving for a D1 college. I hope your nephew has a goal and works towards it. There’s no single right path.

 

[smgoldstein]

There are so many Junior USGA tournaments for serious Junior golfers to play. I've not played golf long but I've seen a big difference between HS golf and Junior golf. Most kids who play HS golf just want to be there to make friends and they don't take it seriously. Most of the kids I see at places CCs are serious golfers.

Most of the D1 prospects I know play high school golf and complement it with AJGA and state events. As a junior there are really only 2-3 USGA events for him to play-and he has to qualify for them first.

 

[golfguy2021]

Ok, looking at this from a complete outsider perspective - you say your nephew is better than the three seniors, but how do you truly know that? You know your nephew but not the three seniors who were picked, so have no idea if the seniors had a bad day on the course to shoot the scores they did

Just because your nephew scored better than those seniors in this particular instance doesn't make him better than them overall, and if the coach knows those players, he knows what they are capable of, but doesn't know if this single time from your nephew is the norm or if it was just a particularly good day for him....

Both sides have bias towards the people involved, and it reminds me of another phrase "It's not what you know, it's who you know", and in this instance, unfortunately, the coach knows those other players better than your nephew

Please stop saying "a bad day". It is a three days tryouts, NOT a single day. If you have three consecutive bad days, you shouldn't be on the team.

Put yourself in the position of having to hire someone for a very specific job role and you have to choose between 2 applicants

Applicant 1 has been doing this type of job for a number of years and has practical experience of the role
Applicant 2 is fresh out of college with a formal qualification, but no experience of the role in a real world situation

Who would you pick?

In terms of your nephew and the seniors, they are Applicant 1 and your nephew is Applicant 2, and if I was hiring, I would be looking at Applicant 1 all day long as they have proved that they can do the job, and I think this is how the coach has looked at it

I work in Cybersecurity and I am glad you brought this up because I've run across this many times. Years and practical experience means nothing to me if the person can not handle the specific role that he/she is hired for. My solution is to give them an 4 hours practical exam with real world scenarios about cybersecurity and see which applicant come out ahead. The exam consists a very technical scenario where they have to provide me with solutions to specific scenarios, for example, how do you mitigate an ongoing DDOS attack in an environment?

The best candidate with the best score gets the job.

 

[AndersonRains]

 

[DougE]

I have a friend who's son did both. It gave him the best shot at getting a full ride and also kept him practiced and pushing forward. I would suggest both if he decides it's something he wants to pursue in college. It would get him the most looks.

I agree with this. The Junior buddy of mine from my earlier post above, is presently being scouted by Division 1 schools. He plays high school, AJGA, and other large Junior events (Hurricane Tour, etc.) as well as many USGA-sanctioned state and regional events. He just won the Frank Emmet Schoolboy Tournament, put on by the WMGA (Washington Metro Golf Assoc.) for the best High School golfers in the area. I happen to know there was at least one recruiter there who was paying close attention to him!

 

[Oldflgolfer]

OP you definitely feel as though the nephew has been slighted

Personally- I probably would have responded the same -we both would have been wrong though

Let it go - be the better human. Use this as a teaching experience for the nephew but most importantly you.

Use it as motivation - not as revenge

 

[Chef23]

To be to the point, yeah the coach can do that. If he knows those others are tournament players who had a bad day it has to be taken into consideration. It sucks, but it’s up to the coach.

I don’t cut at my program, boys or girls, but given the brevity of the season I understand why many do.

As to what you can do? You can raise a stink, but if the coach is following policy and it’s his discretion then it is what it is. Additionally, it’s smart to keep in mind you’re getting one side of the story, and it’s one you have an emotional toe to.

Personally, I’d use it as motivation for the future.

This is a big reason I’m a no cut program, it saves headaches and gives kids motivation to improve.

My son didn't play high school golf but currently plays D1 college lacrosse and played lacrosse and hockey through high school. There were absolutely times where we felt he got screwed in tryouts he was never the golden child. I agree with @Jman that there are things that get taken into consideration.

I feel the correct path is to have your nephew go talk to the coach and ask for feedback and how he can improve his chances for the future. My son and I had a mantra for Prove People Wrong whenever he faced a challenge. He really embraced that attitude and it got him where he is today.

I got cut from the basketball team as a sophomore in high school. I went and talked to the coach about it after a day or two and he said basically I was neck and neck with another kid and he had a better last day of tryouts. I learned a lot having that conversation about how to face disappointment. In my case I didn't turn out to be the next Michael Jordan.

Two things. I don't think having your nephew's parents call the coach is the right thing to do. When my son played club lacrosse the director of his program had a rule. If there is an issue of some sort wait 24 hours then have your son come talk to me. If you still want to talk after that conversation I am happy to do it but I want to talk to the player first.

My second thing is the kid has to get out of his room and stop crying. Life is filled with disappointments. Learn from them. Put yourself in a position next year that there is no choice but to keep him on the team.

 

[Matthew]

I agree with this. The Junior buddy of mine from my earlier post above, is presently being scouted by Division 1 schools. He plays high school, AJGA, and other large Junior events (Hurricane Tour, etc.) as well as many USGA-sanctioned state and regional events. He just won the Frank Emmet Schoolboy Tournament, put on by the WMGA (Washington Metro Golf Assoc.) for the best High School golfers in the area. I happen to know there was at least one recruiter there who was paying close attention to him!

Exactly. Two different groups of friends. All their kids played everything they could enter. Golf scholarships to Tulsa, Texas, Xavier & Missouri. Granted they're all talented but they lived on the range, putting/chipping greens & course. Sweat equity is a real thing.

 

[Jman]

My son didn't play high school golf but currently plays D1 college lacrosse and played lacrosse and hockey through high school. There were absolutely times where we felt he got screwed in tryouts he was never the golden child. I agree with @Jman that there are things that get taken into consideration.

I feel the correct path is to have your nephew go talk to the coach and ask for feedback and how he can improve his chances for the future. My son and I had a mantra for Prove People Wrong whenever he faced a challenge. He really embraced that attitude and it got him where he is today.

I got cut from the basketball team as a sophomore in high school. I went and talked to the coach about it after a day or two and he said basically I was neck and neck with another kid and he had a better last day of tryouts. I learned a lot having that conversation about how to face disappointment. In my case I didn't turn out to be the next Michael Jordan.

Two things. I don't think having your nephew's parents call the coach is the right thing to do. When my son played club lacrosse the director of his program had a rule. If there is an issue of some sort wait 24 hours then have your son come talk to me. If you still want to talk after that conversation I am happy to do it but I want to talk to the player first.

My second thing is the kid has to get out of his room and stop crying. Life is filled with disappointments. Learn from them. Put yourself in a position next year that there is no choice but to keep him on the team.

My rule is simple, if you want to have your parents call, that’s fine, but be prepared for me to speak total honesty with them, so if you’re holding something out from the story, they’re going to get it.

 

[DataDude]

This is just my opinion, not to be taken out of context, but tell him to keep his head up and keep working at it. He will get there. I tried out 2 years in a row and choked both times and I look back and I didn't put in the work. Wish I had and kept trying, but like I said, we can't change the past, we can only affect the future! Best of luck to your nephew!

This is great advice. I was laughing at my son who is starting his junior year in tennis. He said his serve is just not good enough. I said remember how many times I have told you since you started playing tennis 5 years ago that learning to rocket a serve in bounds consistently would be the best skill you could ever learn for tennis, but it would take a ton of practice? He said yeah. I said well are you going to go another year without putting in that practice?

 

[Matthew]

Perhaps revenge is not the correct word to use. I should have used "use it as motivation" get better. Hopefully, he will get so much better in the next 12 months that he probably will not play HS golf.

Oh no, I've spent WWAAYYY too much reading this, you meant revenge. No need to walk it back. He isn't going to go pro as a HS senior &, as you've said, it's supposed to fun & making friends why wouldn't he play if he's capable of making the team? Because you've turned this into "he's too good to play for this prick coach" well done.

 

[golfguy2021]

My son didn't play high school golf but currently plays D1 college lacrosse and played lacrosse and hockey through high school. There were absolutely times where we felt he got screwed in tryouts he was never the golden child. I agree with @Jman that there are things that get taken into consideration.

I feel the correct path is to have your nephew go talk to the coach and ask for feedback and how he can improve his chances for the future. My son and I had a mantra for Prove People Wrong whenever he faced a challenge. He really embraced that attitude and it got him where he is today.

I got cut from the basketball team as a sophomore in high school. I went and talked to the coach about it after a day or two and he said basically I was neck and neck with another kid and he had a better last day of tryouts. I learned a lot having that conversation about how to face disappointment. In my case I didn't turn out to be the next Michael Jordan.

Two things. I don't think having your nephew's parents call the coach is the right thing to do. When my son played club lacrosse the director of his program had a rule. If there is an issue of some sort wait 24 hours then have your son come talk to me. If you still want to talk after that conversation I am happy to do it but I want to talk to the player first.

My second thing is the kid has to get out of his room and stop crying. Life is filled with disappointments. Learn from them. Put yourself in a position next year that there is no choice but to keep him on the team.

Your comparison is not fair one.

Lacrosse, hockey, and basketball are team sports and the evaluation is a very subjective one.

Golf is sport where the objective is very black and white. Get the ball into the hole with the least amount of strokes no matter how ugly your swing, chipping or putting might be. The player with the lowest score wins and makes the team, assuming that kid doesn't have any attitude or behavior issues. Whoever has the lowest score win, last time I check. Just don't come in the tryouts with the outcome is already determined on who should make the team. If that's the case, just cancel the tryouts altogether.

 

[Jman]

Your comparison is not fair one.

Lacrosse, hockey, and basketball are team sports and the evaluation is a very subjective one.

Golf is sport where the objective is very black and white. Get the ball into the hole with the least amount of strokes no matter how ugly your swing, chipping or putting might be. The player with the lowest score wins and makes the team, assuming that kid doesn't have any attitude or behavior issues. Whoever has the lowest score win, last time I check. Just don't come in the tryouts with the outcome is already determined on who should make the team. If that's the case, just cancel the tryouts altogether.

Again. Sometimes there’s much more to the big picture than just score that day. It’s not as black and white as you want it to be imo.

 

[golfguy2021]

Again. Sometimes there’s much more to the big picture than just score that day. It’s not as black and white as you want it to be imo.

@Jman: I am not sure why you keep referring to "score that day"... It is a three days tryouts. I can see someone play bad on a single day, but for three straight days?

 

[golfguy2021]

Oh no, I've spent WWAAYYY too much reading this, you meant revenge. No need to walk it back. He isn't going to go pro as a HS senior &, as you've said, it's supposed to fun & making friends why wouldn't he play if he's capable of making the team? Because you've turned this into "he's too good to play for this prick coach" well done.

For the record, that was his idea, not mine.

He said he wouldn't want to waste his effort to play for a coach who didn't want him on the team this year. He said he will be better with others who appreciate his hard work and efforts.

 

[golfguy2021]

Exactly. Two different groups of friends. All their kids played everything they could enter. Golf scholarships to Tulsa, Texas, Xavier & Missouri. Granted they're all talented but they lived on the range, putting/chipping greens & course. Sweat equity is a real thing.

One kid in my neighborhood got scholarship to play tennis for UCLA and he has never competed in HS tennis, only USTA and UTR tournaments. His UTR is 13.3 and the best player on the tennis team in his HS conference has a UTR of 7. It would not be a fair fight.

 

[Matthew]

Good luck with that & all of your future endeavors