Lets talk about....The Cart Girl

[OITW]

That was always one of my patented moves when I was young and single, see a girl who was in the middle of a conversation with a guy who did not have the self-awareness that she was not interested and wanted to escape the situation, and then go over and save her from that situation.

So Civic was the younger you saving the older you from yourself Saturday night? #TheTwilightZone lol

 

[Flipit]

Not sure about your description but I do like it. Doesn’t fly at my club. I do flirt and I tip well but it’s all in good fun. Oh and I do love her.

 

[OITW]

I’m guessing it’s because 90% or more of the golfers are male. Though I have seen a cart boy once haha

@Molten has a great “cart person” story

 

[M2Giles]

Honestly don't get why dudes do this. Usually discussions about the cart girl with my friends dude do you want a beer. Or who is buying. Or other stuff like that. If anything, the comment is usually within the golf cart and never with the actual cart girl.

We're all married. None of us actually do the the whole buy the girl shots. Then again most of us are actually trying to shoot scores and not just get blitzed on the course

 

[Afizzle2100]

This is coming from a woman’s perspective, and a woman who worked for tips for many years in my youth. Some of you guys are strongly underestimating these women.

I know your intentions are good, but in a way it’s kind of sexist to think these girls are poor, unsuspecting victims. There are plenty of women out there who love the attention and who intentionally took a job where they interact with older, most likely wealthy, men. I’m not saying all, or even most women are like this, but there are plenty I am sure of it.

I worked in bars for years and I came across this type of person all the time.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some super digesting men out there who take it too far, but for the most part it’s a mutual understanding.She flirts with you, you flirt with her. Her giving you attention makes your day, and your money, and depending on the girl, your attention, makes hers.

Completely agree

 

[Canadan]

This is coming from a woman’s perspective, and a woman who worked for tips for many years in my youth. Some of you guys are strongly underestimating these women.

I know your intentions are good, but in a way it’s kind of sexist to think these girls are poor, unsuspecting victims. There are plenty of women out there who love the attention and who intentionally took a job where they interact with older, most likely wealthy, men. I’m not saying all, or even most women are like this, but there are plenty I am sure of it.

I worked in bars for years and I came across this type of person all the time.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some super digesting men out there who take it too far, but for the most part it’s a mutual understanding.She flirts with you, you flirt with her. Her giving you attention makes your day, and your money, and depending on the girl, your attention, makes hers.

Truth.

And if we need another sample to validate, you don't have to go too far down the social media rabbit hole to find PLENTY of these types of women (or I guess men, but for some reason they aren't advertised to me like the women are lmao)

 

[Canadan]

40-50 years ago, it was totally normalized for men to hire “pretty secretaries,” call them sweetie, and slap them on the bum. Some women took full advantage of that to climb the corporate ladder too, but it didn’t make it right. Today we’d call that sexual harassment, and it will get someone fired from most jobs. A hostile work environment is a hostile work environment whether it’s coming from coworkers or the customers. Change begins with recognizing that what we accept as normal isn’t necessarily right.

Do you consider the vast majority of these types of interactions (you know, the ones that don't involve physical contact) to be sexual harassment?

I've had plenty of cart girls touch my arm or shoulder before (most guys know what I'm talking about... the 'you guys should buy shots' version of the cart girl). Should that bother me as well?

 

[Boone]

I can appreciate @Canadan and @GolferGal's comments, as well as those who make the point that no harm is done when some 'flirting' occurs. I think it's tough to discuss this kind of topic 'in the abstract' because many are picturing leering old men making disgusting comments or innuendos to teenaged girls while others are referencing friendly harmless banter. There's certainly nothing wrong with being friendly to the 'cart girl' no matter who you are or who she is. I do think there's a fine line between friendliness and things getting creepier than that. Generally speaking, most men have a blind spot as to where that line is. Most of us are aggressive, gregarious, and easily visually stimulated. I just think we need to be aware that there are lines, it's better to err on the side of caution, and never to do anything that make another human uncomfortable. It's easier to know where those lines are in real life in an actual setting than to try and define it in the abstract.

 

[BuckNasty]

We used to send out a guy for the women's league (at their request mostly). It always cracked me up.

 

[Canadan]

I can appreciate @Canadan and @GolferGal's comments, as well as those who make the point that no harm is done when some 'flirting' occurs. I think it's tough to discuss this kind of topic 'in the abstract' because many are picturing leering old men making disgusting comments or innuendos to teenaged girls while others are referencing friendly harmless banter. There's certainly nothing wrong with being friendly to the 'cart girl' no matter who you are or who she is. I do think there's a fine line between friendliness and things getting creepier than that. Generally speaking, most men have a blind spot as to where that line is. Most of us are aggressive, gregarious, and easily visually stimulated. I just think we need to be aware that there are lines, it's better to err on the side of caution, and never to do anything that make another human uncomfortable. It's easier to know where those lines are in real life in an actual setting than to try and define it in the abstract.

Yeah, the spectrum and conditions of situation are insanely broad.

Does she dress appropriately or .... for "success"?
Does she flirt and 'play the game' or act reserved and guarded?
Are the guys saying inappropriate things, or just making silly harmless comments?

And that barely scratches the surface. I like to think every foursome has at least one guy with a halfway decent brain on his shoulders, but I tend to be an optimist haha

 

[GolfTravelDude]

This is coming from a woman’s perspective, and a woman who worked for tips for many years in my youth. Some of you guys are strongly underestimating these women.

I know your intentions are good, but in a way it’s kind of sexist to think these girls are poor, unsuspecting victims. There are plenty of women out there who love the attention and who intentionally took a job where they interact with older, most likely wealthy, men. I’m not saying all, or even most women are like this, but there are plenty I am sure of it.

I worked in bars for years and I came across this type of person all the time.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some super digesting men out there who take it too far, but for the most part it’s a mutual understanding.She flirts with you, you flirt with her. Her giving you attention makes your day, and your money, and depending on the girl, your attention, makes hers.

Agree and would take it even further. They are quite smart and intuitive as to acquiring what they want.

 

[Molten]

@Molten has a great “cart person” story

I do indeed but I’m surprised you remember that. The best cart girl I’ve ever had was a man. He remembered our entire order and where we sat and in which cart. The second time we saw him we were on the green and he asked if we wanted another round - we said yes thinking he would just wait but before we finished on the green he was gone and everything was in our carts. Being good at your job gets noticed for sure.

 

[Buckeyegolfnut]

Because men are idiots and men spend money

It took me two whole posts to get into the meat of this thread. Thank you tequila! Yes, some men spend money like idiots! Why? Because they are attracted to women! And there are women who appreciate that attraction! Why? Because it gets them what they want, either in affection or money!

This is coming from a woman’s perspective, and a woman who worked for tips for many years in my youth. Some of you guys are strongly underestimating these women.

I know your intentions are good, but in a way it’s kind of sexist to think these girls are poor, unsuspecting victims. There are plenty of women out there who love the attention and who intentionally took a job where they interact with older, most likely wealthy, men. I’m not saying all, or even most women are like this, but there are plenty I am sure of it.

I worked in bars for years and I came across this type of person all the time.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are some men out there who take it too far, but for the most part it’s a mutual understanding.She flirts with you, you flirt with her. Her giving you attention makes your day, and your money, and depending on the girl, your attention, makes hers.

I tried to highlight, in another color, something you typed in your prior reply. You typed "some digesting men", and I think you meant that word to be "disgusting". I know the type. You sell them a 5 dollar beer, they hand you a ten, tell you to keep it, and expect you to sleep with them. Smooth operators!

I've flirted with cart girls to, but never really expected it to go anywhere. This is just part of the fantasy life we lead alongside our real life!

 

[Canadan]

I do indeed but I’m surprised you remember that. The best cart girl I’ve ever had was a man. He remembered our entire order and where we sat and in which cart. The second time we saw him we were on the green and he asked if we wanted another round - we said yes thinking he would just wait but before we finished on the green he was gone and everything was in our carts. Being good at your job gets noticed for sure.

now THAT is what I am talking about!!!
Sounds awesome.

 

[KingsKraken]

Do you consider the vast majority of these types of interactions (you know, the ones that don't involve physical contact) to be sexual harassment?

I've had plenty of cart girls touch my arm or shoulder before (most guys know what I'm talking about... the 'you guys should buy shots' version of the cart girl). Should that bother me as well?

I don’t care whether cart girls touching you bothers you or not. If it does though, they have no right to touch you. It’s really that simple. Similarly, it doesn’t matter what I consider to be sexual harassment. It’s what the receiver perceives.

 

[Molten]

now THAT is what I am talking about!!!
Sounds awesome.

It was a neighboring country club. The guy even grabbed fresh hot dogs each time he went in to refill so they were hot. That dude was the MAN!

 

[weltysgolf]

Once had a golf buddy start to chat up a young cart girl and it got to trying to guess what color her underware was and she would show him to prove it. He was in his 50's and she was maybe 16. We were SOOOO embarassed for her. She eventually just drove off. Ever since I've been very generous and respectfull.

 

[OITW]

I do indeed but I’m surprised you remember that. The best cart girl I’ve ever had was a man. He remembered our entire order and where we sat and in which cart. The second time we saw him we were on the green and he asked if we wanted another round - we said yes thinking he would just wait but before we finished on the green he was gone and everything was in our carts. Being good at your job gets noticed for sure.

I remember most things it’s a gift and a curse

 

[Canadan]

I don’t care whether cart girls touching you bothers you or not. If it does though, they have no right to touch you. It’s really that simple. Similarly, it doesn’t matter what I consider to be sexual harassment. It’s what the receiver perceives.

I mean, we're on the internet talking about it... I think it matters what you think.

Not like we're going to solve anything, outside of sharing horror stories and talking through what IS appropriate.

 

[Canadan]

Once had a golf buddy start to chat up a young cart girl and it got to trying to guess what color her underware was and she would show him to prove it. He was in his 50's and she was maybe 16. We were SOOOO embarassed for her. She eventually just drove off. Ever since I've been very generous and respectfull.

That sucks. I hope you let your buddy have it for that one.

 

[Duffer Seamus]

Once had a golf buddy start to chat up a young cart girl and it got to trying to guess what color her underware was and she would show him to prove it. He was in his 50's and she was maybe 16. We were SOOOO embarassed for her.

Should've been embarrassed for your golf buddy. She might be excused for being young and stupid. Your buddy had no such excuse. That was way beyond flirting and entirely inappropriate.

 

[Maric]

Once had a golf buddy start to chat up a young cart girl and it got to trying to guess what color her underware was and she would show him to prove it. He was in his 50's and she was maybe 16. We were SOOOO embarassed for her. She eventually just drove off. Ever since I've been very generous and respectfull.

out of curiosity did you guys call him out for it?

 

[93civiccpe]

I wouldn't want Papa Eddie to be pissed at me, not surprised he nipped that in the bud.


@93civiccpe remember at Royal New Kent, the Swing Oil Servista - she kept us there for 5 min and all we wanted to do was putt out and move on to the next hole. When we actually needed drinks she was nowhere to be found!

I blame her for me missing my birdie putt on 11

I was thinking the same thing. We had the course to ourselves and she seemed like she just wanted to hang out and talk.. On a fast & curvy green. I wish she would have come back around when we actually wanted drinks!!

 

[BigMac]

This is coming from a woman’s perspective, and a woman who worked for tips for many years in my youth. Some of you guys are strongly underestimating these women.

I know your intentions are good, but in a way it’s kind of sexist to think these girls are poor, unsuspecting victims. There are plenty of women out there who love the attention and who intentionally took a job where they interact with older, most likely wealthy, men. I’m not saying all, or even most women are like this, but there are plenty I am sure of it.

I worked in bars for years and I came across this type of person all the time.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some super digesting men out there who take it too far, but for the most part it’s a mutual understanding.She flirts with you, you flirt with her. Her giving you attention makes your day, and your money, and depending on the girl, your attention, makes hers.

There definitely is a wide spectrum of behavior on both sides, and there are definitely some women who invite - even welcome - the attention, and know how to use their assets to their advantage. I don't have much heartache about guys bantering with women who are willing participants - if everybody involved is okay with it, no harm done. But even in those situations, some guys are so douchey about it that it's embarrassing and painful to watch, and I don't want to stand around holding up play for 10 minutes while they get their jollies fantasizing that they're going to be doing the horizontal bop with this cart girl who uses the same lines on every guy on the course.

Personally, I tend to just avoid those kind of situations. I know she's very likely more interested in what's in my wallet than she is in me - and even if that's not the case (especially if that's not the case), I don't need those kind of complications in my life at this point. Divorce is ugly and expensive, lead me not into temptation.

 

[wadesworld]

I'm very cognizant that if I were thinking "Man, I'm so smooth," she's thinking behind her smile, "just give me the damn tip you gross fat old man." And that's why I rarely attempt a flirt.