lazychicken
Active member
This past weekend I was playing as a single at my home club. The beginning of my round started out a little cool so I had been wearing a pullover. But I quickly removed it and threw it in the cart basket. Later in the round, as I stood on the #15 tee box waiting for the group ahead of me to clear, I realized I was in the shade and the wind had kicked up a little and it was now a bit cooler outside. So I grabbed the pullover and put it back on. The group ahead was finally getting to hit and I knew they had been playing pretty quickly so I started getting ready to tee off.
I reached down and stuck my tee in the ground...and that's when all hell broke loose.
Out of the corner of my eye, something caught my attention. A deadly spider of some variety I can't identify because I don't know anything about spiders was on the right sleeve of my pullover in the middle of my forearm, and he was climbing toward me. Clearly he was in attack mode. I could see his eyes narrow as he sized up his prey. I could smell the deadly venom flooding his killer fangs. He looked me right in my soul and I could hear him whisper "you're a dead man!!". He picked up his tiny spider cell phone and called his spider wife to tell her that his hunt had been successful and they were having golfer for dinner. I could hear her excited squeal through the phone. I knew I had only seconds to act.
At this point, primal instinct kicked in. My whole body sprung into action and began fighting for survival. I'm sure to anyone watching it had to look like I was a well-trained martial artist executing a series of finely-honed spider ninja moves. But I'll be honest with you, I felt like I was just running around the tee box flailing my arms and spinning around for all I was worth. What surely sounded to outside observers like a very manly viking battle cry was actually me screaming like a little girl.
The fight for my very survival felt like it lasted hours, but it was probably only 10-15 seconds. I was finally able to rip the pullover off and throw it on the ground before smiting it with my driver.
I never found the remains of my 8-legged foe, but I'm sure he was full of sadness and regret as the light left his lifeless carcass. I can only hope he had enough time to alert his spider friends - "This golfer is not to be trifled with".
....
Anyway, I just wanted to get my version of events on record in case someone else happened to have been watching. Thanks.
I reached down and stuck my tee in the ground...and that's when all hell broke loose.
Out of the corner of my eye, something caught my attention. A deadly spider of some variety I can't identify because I don't know anything about spiders was on the right sleeve of my pullover in the middle of my forearm, and he was climbing toward me. Clearly he was in attack mode. I could see his eyes narrow as he sized up his prey. I could smell the deadly venom flooding his killer fangs. He looked me right in my soul and I could hear him whisper "you're a dead man!!". He picked up his tiny spider cell phone and called his spider wife to tell her that his hunt had been successful and they were having golfer for dinner. I could hear her excited squeal through the phone. I knew I had only seconds to act.
At this point, primal instinct kicked in. My whole body sprung into action and began fighting for survival. I'm sure to anyone watching it had to look like I was a well-trained martial artist executing a series of finely-honed spider ninja moves. But I'll be honest with you, I felt like I was just running around the tee box flailing my arms and spinning around for all I was worth. What surely sounded to outside observers like a very manly viking battle cry was actually me screaming like a little girl.
The fight for my very survival felt like it lasted hours, but it was probably only 10-15 seconds. I was finally able to rip the pullover off and throw it on the ground before smiting it with my driver.
I never found the remains of my 8-legged foe, but I'm sure he was full of sadness and regret as the light left his lifeless carcass. I can only hope he had enough time to alert his spider friends - "This golfer is not to be trifled with".
....
Anyway, I just wanted to get my version of events on record in case someone else happened to have been watching. Thanks.
