The dad joke thread

[MPlefty]

after reading the banter thread the last few days, I figured we needed this.

I'll kick thing off:

What motivates people to work out in Southeast Asia?

The eye of the Thai girl

 

[badolds]

Okay dad jokes = bad jokes.

Knock Knock


Who dare?



Dwayne




Dwayne who?




Dwayne the bathtub!! I'm dwowning!!

 

[Stryker]

I'll play:

What did Spock find in the toilet?

The Captain's log.

 

[wadesworld]

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

White horse fell in the mud!

 

[Molten]

Paging @canadan. You created a monster

 

[CobraX51]

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A dad will actually search for a golf ball.

 

[Reframmellator]

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

White horse fell in the mud!

Wanna hear a clean joke?

White horse got a bath.

 

[campilobaxter]

Just heard about a dwarf who was pick-pocketed.


How could anyone stoop so low?

 

[Snickerdog]

 

[Canadan]

Paging @canadan. You created a monster

Oh yes!!!!

 

[mikeg_74]

Why do melons have weddings?...because they cantaloupe!

 

[Golfin]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey pal, why the long face?"

 

[buckeyewalt]

How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?

You take away their brooms

 

[cbaker2882]

What do mermaids use to wash their clothes?

Tide

 

[mikeg_74]

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage...The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!

 

[TYork]

why does Snoop Dawg carry an umbrella?.......its for drizzle

 

[Reframmellator]

Helium walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."

Helium doesn't react.

 

[campilobaxter]

I have a Russian friend who’s a sound technician.

And a Czech one too. A Czech one too.

 

[cbaker2882]

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Oh, there’s no point.

 

[MWard]

Dad drove me by a cemetery, looked at it and shouted out, “I hear they’re all dying to get in there!”

 

[jints07]

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

But WHY did 7 eat 9? To get *3 square* meals.

 

[Snickerdog]

When does water stop running down hill?


When it reaches the bottom.

 

[Reframmellator]

Didja hear about the battlefield doctor who got in trouble for his handling of the severed limbs of his patients?

He was told to stop putting all his legs in one casket.

 

[Space Bandito]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

 

[Space Bandito]

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and his left leg?

He's all right.