some good ones since my last review! haha
The dad joke thread
Q: Are you a scratch player?
A: I sure am—every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where it went.
A: I sure am—every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where it went.
Or I'm scratching around in the weeds looking for my ball.
Wife: I'm sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
My wife asked me to take a spider out! We had a couple drinks. Nice guy! He's a web designer!
Why did the broom get fired?
He was sweeping on the job.
He was sweeping on the job.
What did the math book say to its therapist?
I've got a lot of problems.
I've got a lot of problems.
And here I thought it was for making sweeping changes. Learn something new ever day.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Zamboni driver missing.
Hope he resurfaces eventually.
Hope he resurfaces eventually.
It looks like my cat's sick........
He doesn't seem to be feline well.
He doesn't seem to be feline well.
How does a camel hide in the desert?
Camelflage.
Camelflage.
aceinspace
Active member
Not sure this qualifies as a Dad Joke but a dad was involved:
One day a dad left work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
He stops at a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one would you like? We have Malibu Barbie for $19.95, Rodeo Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Fashion Barbie for $19.95, Work Out Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $199.95".
The father asks: "Why is the Divorced Barbie so much more expensive than the other ones?"
The salesperson replies: "Well, sir, because Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture, and one of Ken's friends."
One day a dad left work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
He stops at a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one would you like? We have Malibu Barbie for $19.95, Rodeo Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Fashion Barbie for $19.95, Work Out Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $199.95".
The father asks: "Why is the Divorced Barbie so much more expensive than the other ones?"
The salesperson replies: "Well, sir, because Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture, and one of Ken's friends."
aceinspace
Active member
A man walks up to the airlines counter with 3 pieces of luggage.
The clerk behind the counter says, "May I help you?"
"I want this one to go to Cleveland, this one to Detroit, and this one to Philadelphia."
"Sorry sir, I am afraid our company does not offer that kind of service."
"Well, you guys did it last time!"
The clerk behind the counter says, "May I help you?"
"I want this one to go to Cleveland, this one to Detroit, and this one to Philadelphia."
"Sorry sir, I am afraid our company does not offer that kind of service."
"Well, you guys did it last time!"
How does an elephant hide on a pool table?
He paints his toe nails green.
Ever seen an elephant on a pool table?
See, it works!
He paints his toe nails green.
Ever seen an elephant on a pool table?
See, it works!
If a man says he'll fix it, he WILL. There's no need to remind him every six months.
Why did the gorilla get detention?
He kept monkeying around. :laughing:
He kept monkeying around. :laughing:
Why did the chicken go to the gym?
To work on his pecks.
To work on his pecks.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers.
Milk and quackers.
Where do ranchers get their cattle from?
The cattlelog of course.
The cattlelog of course.
It takes a humble man to admit that his wife was wrong.
- Joined
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How's that couch working out for you? Memory foam maybe?
Good one!!!
Why are ghosts not allowed in comedy clubs?
The always boo the comedians.
The always boo the comedians.