A guy is having a check up at the doctor's...
"Do you think I will have a long and healthy life?"
"I doubt it" says the doctor shaking his head "Mercury is in Uranus right now"
"I don't believe in that astrology crap, doc"
"Yeah, neither do I. My thermometer just broke"
Did you here the one about the golfer who went to the doctor for a physical? During the exam the golfer told the doctor about the terrible time he was having with his short irons. After the exam finished the doctor tells the golfer to wait a moment and writes something on a piece of paper and then hands it to the golfer.
The golfer takes the piece of paper from doctor and asks what it is?
The doctor says, "Its a prescription for a multi-vitamin, it should help with your iron deficiency."