The dad joke thread
Why couldn't the Leopard play hide and seek?
Because it was always spotted!
Because it was always spotted!
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My dad would say this.
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Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
They say that nothing rhymes with orange.
That isn't true, and I don't know why "they" say that.
Nothing and orange DO NOT RHYME.
That isn't true, and I don't know why "they" say that.
Nothing and orange DO NOT RHYME.
What do you call a fear of giants? Feefiphobia!
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Condoms should be used in every conceivable occasion.
Did you know that before the crowbar was invented....
most crows drank at home.
most crows drank at home.
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When settling a dispute between two egotists, it's always an I for an I. 
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What does a mermaid wear to Math class?
An Algea-bra.
An Algea-bra.
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Why can't the bicycle stand without support?
(You know you're gonna hate it...)
Because it's too tired!
(You know you're gonna hate it...)
Because it's too tired!
What is a hurricane's favorite board game?
Twister!!! 
Twister!!!
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A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 
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Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction.
Do you know why Irish chili only has 239 beans? ......one more and it would be too farty!
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If you don't pay your Exorcist, you get repossessed. 
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Once you've see one shopping center, you've seen a mall...
Why did the poor man sell yeast?
To raise some dough.
To raise some dough.
Why was the belt sent to jail?
Wait for it.......................
For holding up a pair of pants.
Wait for it.......................
For holding up a pair of pants.
This mother lode showed up in a news digest page:
www.artofmanliness.com
The 50 Best Jokes for Little Kids
Children of 3-7 age range needs a set of jokes all for themselves. Here's a list of 50 of the best, taking from both old classics and new favorites.
www.artofmanliness.com
I went to see the Liberty Bell recently. I don't know why everybody makes such a big deal about it. It's not all it's cracked up to be.
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Look grandpa, no hands.
Look grandpa, no hands.
MetroCat
Well-known member
More of a riddle than a joke but you'll still groan.
A woman is in line at the grocery store and she's holding a chicken. The man behind her asks her a question. The question is also the name of an automobile company. What did he ask?
A woman is in line at the grocery store and she's holding a chicken. The man behind her asks her a question. The question is also the name of an automobile company. What did he ask?
What are the sexiest animals on the farm?
Brown chicken, brown cow.
Brown chicken, brown cow.
MetroCat
Well-known member
The comma ruins it.