The dad joke thread

J.B. Cobb III

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My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house.
 

fairwaynut

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What did Adam say the day before Xmas?

It's Xmas Eve, :laughing::laughing::laughing:
 

YukonLiving

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I seriously enjoy this thread!
 

Tywithay

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fairwaynut

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What did Adam say the day before Xmas?

It's Xmas, Eve.
 

fairwaynut

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Why does Santa have three Garden plots up at the North Pole?

So he can Hoe, Hoe, Hoe. :laughing:
 

Reframmellator

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Inspired by the Favorite Soda Thread #1

What's in a Royal Flush?

RC Cola and Prune Juice
 

Reframmellator

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Favorite Soda Thread #2:

What's a Phillips Screwdriver?

Vodka and milk of mangnesia
 

Reframmellator

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Mortgage officers have no friends. They’re loaners.
 

fairwaynut

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What did the bald headed man say when he received a comb for a present?

"Gee, I'll never part wit it."
 

NVGOLFER80

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
 

YukonLiving

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fairwaynut

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Reframmellator

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YukonLiving

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MattyD-MPLS

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My daughter told me a great one!

Where does a snowman keep his money?




A snowbank
 

Stryker

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16E66F97-10F6-42E1-8876-FFAC02902B10.jpeg
 

fairwaynut

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The past, present, and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.
 

WICHITAREJECT

which ones are the senior tees?
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I caught my granddaughter chewing on an electrical cord.

I had to ground her.

She's doing a better job of conducting herself currently.
 

fairwaynut

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I caught my granddaughter chewing on an electrical cord.

I had to ground her.

She's doing a better job of conducting herself currently.
I'll bet she got a charge outta that!!! :laughing:
 

camden_kid

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Did you hear about the cross-eyed circumciser? He got the sack.
 

Junkyard

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As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "You know, one would have been enough"
 

Junkyard

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When my wife told me to stop impersonating a Flamingo, I had to put my foot down
 

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