The dad joke thread

fairwaynut

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Did you hear the one about the guy who accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles?

His next poop could spell disaster.
 

fairwaynut

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Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?

Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
 

fairwaynut

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Went to the zoo this morning and saw baguette in a cage.

Pretty sure it was bread in captivity.
 

Junkyard

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You know what's odd?

Every other number
 

fairwaynut

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Without geometry life would be pointless.
 

fairwaynut

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.
 

fairwaynut

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I just bought a Thesaurus and when I got home all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.
 

fairwaynut

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Where do they send Volkswagons when they get old?

Wait for it................................................

To an old Volks Home. :laughing:
 

J.B. Cobb III

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I wonder if they call the President of Kraft Foods the “Big Cheese”?!🤔
 

fairwaynut

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Did you hear about the new football league that pits NFL teams against Prison football teams?

It has it's pros and cons.
 

J.B. Cobb III

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My dad always told me “don’t be quick to find faults”. Great man, terrible geologist.
 

J.B. Cobb III

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What did the Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife? Nothing he was gladiator.
 

Reframmellator

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Did you hear about the new football league that pits NFL teams against Prison football teams?

It has it's pros and cons.

Prose and cons may also be found in the prison bookstore.
 

fairwaynut

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Did you guys hear about the kidnapping at the Elementary School?

It's OK, he woke up!!!
 

fairwaynut

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What happened to Napoleon when he got struck by a cannon ball?

He was Napoleon Blown-Apart.
 

Reframmellator

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My wife had an origami business until it folded.
 

Snowman

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A truck loaded with Vick's Vaporub overturned on the highway.

Amazing, there was no congestion for eight hours.
A truck loaded with Viagra was stolen from a truck stop, two suspects were seen.

The police put out a “Be On The Lookout” for two hardened criminals.
 

fairwaynut

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The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
 

fairwaynut

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A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
 

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