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The dad joke thread

What is black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black.... etc...?







Gary Player doing push ups.
 
What's the term for when a person dies and comes back as a hillbilly? Reintarnation.
 
Nuts... a famous trapeze artist has passed away.

He'll be missed by his brother....

again.
 
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? - Roberto.
 
Just found a book on how to survive falling down the stairs…



It’s a step by step guide.
 
My girlfriend broke up with me for being too “un-american!” But, I wasn’t surprised. I saw it coming from kilometers away!
 
I was so tired this morning, I fell asleep while drinking my coffee, which I then spilled on my lap.

It was a brewed awakening.
 
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Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
"A farmer looks up and sees his prized sheepdog running toward him."

"The sheepdog is panting, and says, 'Boss, I did it. It took me all morning, but I finally got all 100 sheep in the barn.'"

"The farmer says, 'That's great, but we only have 97 sheep.'"

"The sheepdog says, 'Yeah, I know. I rounded them up."
 
I signed up for a seminar on procrastination but it’s been postponed indefinitely.
 
What kind of dog does magic?

A Labracadabrador
 
A new restaurant called Karma just opened. No menu, you just get what you deserve.
 
Hardest part of making skimmed milk must be skipping the cows across the lake....
 
Why was the baby strawberry crying?? Her mom was in a Jam.
 
Two cannibals have just finished off a stand-up comedian.... One of the cannibals looks to the other and asks....”did that taste funny to you?”
 
This morning's traffic report said a trailer containing Vicks VapoRub overturned during morning rush hour on the Interstate.

Police expect no congestion for at least the next twelve hours.
 
What do you give a dog that has a high fever?

Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog. :laughing::laughing:
 
I had the worst nightmare last night. The ghost of Gloria Gaynor appeared in front of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified!!!
 
J.B. Cobb III said:
I had the worst nightmare last night. The ghost of Gloria Gaynor appeared in front of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified!!!
Click to expand...

Apparently, you survived.
 
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?




look for Fresh Prince.......🦶🦶🦶🦶
 
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