The dad joke thread

What do you call a funny mountain?

Hill-arious!!!
 
Lance is not a common name these days

But in Medieval times, people were named Lance a lot
 
Why didn't Cheddar invite Swiss cheese to golfing?

He always gets a hole in one!
 
I stopped at a Dunkin yesterday and complimented the associate on her face mask.

"It's a coughy filter," she said.
 
What do dogs float in the water?

Cause they are good bouys......
 
Why is the letter "B" so cool?

Because it's sitting in the AC.
 
What Did the Drummer name his kids

Anna 1 Anna 2
 
 
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
 
Why did Steve Jobs wear turtlenecks?

Because blazers have too many buttons.
 
According to ancient Japanese lore, the color of a person’s aura changes changes right before they die. Cyan-aura!
 
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You could sure tell that dog belonged to the news man....

Yeah? How so?

He really poured over the editorials. :eek:
 
Why was the laundry sent down to the minor leagues?

He was all washed up.
 
I was recently asked who my favorite vampire was. I said, “the muppet from Sesame Street.” They told me, “he doesn’t count!” “Oh...I assure you, he does!”
 
What did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall?

"Dam!!!"
 
I'm having Dijon Vu ... The same mustard as before. :cool:
 
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