The dad joke thread

What is it called when someone kills a bunch of chickpeas?! Hummuside!
 
Why did the man take toilet paper to the party?

Because he's a party pooper.
 
This is for Snickerdog:

Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It's pasteurized before you even know it!!
 
Did you hear about the guy who eat 20 cans of alphabet soup?
He had the biggest vowel movement ever.
 
How do you organize a party in space?

You planet
 
This thread never disappoints.............love it!
 
My girlfriend bewitches me.

Everytime I pick her up for a date, she says, " I'll bewitches in 5 minutes."
 
This thread never disappoints.............love it!

Bzzzzzzz! While this isn’t Jeopardy, all comments must be in the form of a dad joke. You know, short and sometimes it takes a minute to figure it out. 😅
 
I can’t fully explain Japanese Bushido history in one sentence, but I can samurais it!
 
Geology rocks, but Geography is where it’s at!
 
I call these elevator jokes because they work on so many levels.
 
What do you call a woman between two goal posts? Annette
 
Did you hear my joke about the chiropractor? It was about a week back?!
 
I call these elevator jokes because they work on so many levels.

that is wrong on so many levels .......but funny on just as many
 
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

Because he just couldn't see himself doing it.
 
Did you hear the one about the guy who goes camping every year?

When asked how it was his answer was, "It was so in tents"
 
I had a Great childhood, my Dad used to let me get in a car tire and roll me down hills.......Those were Goodyears
 
News Flash: Man gets hit by car, said, "It Hertz"
 
The pedestrian didn't know which way to go, so I hit him.
 
I wrote a book about falling down the stairs. It’s a step by step guide.
 
How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer.
 
what do you call bees that produce milk?

boo-bees
 
Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?

Wait for it..............................

Because he was on a roll. :laughing:
 
So what if I can't spell armageddon? It's not the end of the world.
 
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