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The golf parenting thread: Teen Edition

syndicate559

syndicate559

Sweet Trajectory
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I searched and only found one older thread pertaining to golf/parenting and it seemed to center mostly on littler kids just getting their first clubs and whatnot. But I figure I can't be the only one who has kids that are a little older and starting to enter the realm of competitive golf, so I thought a thread for parents like me might be cool, because I know I've already run into decisions that I wasn't sure how to make. Guiding kids through their golf development is pretty complicated, at least from what I can tell so far. I know that I would personally enjoy being able to bounce ideas off of other parents who are making similar decisions, or those whose kids have already gone through these stages and have some wisdom they'd be willing to share.

Here's a little breakdown of my situation:

My oldest is 13 and about a quarter of the way into his first season of middle school golf. He's had a couple of lessons, from different coaches, a couple of years ago. Mostly, he's got his natural swing and just practices and plays to get better. I've giving him a few pointers, as far as chipping and putting and general strategy/course management. When we're playing a round together, I'm normally giving him advice on those types of things, rather than actually mess with his swing. I'm not qualified for that and I actually think his natural swing is pretty good. He could definitely stand to learn how to hit down on the ball and compress it more, but I'm going to wait for an instructor to give him a game plan. Which is really my biggest question with him right now. I don't know whether to start him with lessons right away, or wait until after the school season is over. I can see an argument for both sides. He's #1 or #2 on the team every week, so he's not struggling in terms of being one of the better players. For that reason, I'm a little heasatent, because I don't want him to take a step backward and lose confidence during the season. On the other hand, I think kids probably pick up what they're being taught faster than we do and the fact that he's out playing 4 or 5 times a week right now would make it the perfect time to get the lessons and really work on what he's learning.

I'm open to thoughts on that!

My oldest daughter is 12 and will play middle school golf in the fall. She'll be doing lessons this summer, so not much trepidation for me involving her at this point. Youngest is a 9-year-old girl who loves golf, but she's got plenty of time to work on the game before 7th grade.

Anyway, if anyone else has experiences they'd like to share or questions about their kids' golf games through the middle school and high school years (heck, even college would be really interesting, since that's my kids' goal), let's talk about 'em.
 
I have a 14 year old daughter than has has been involved with golf since she was about 7. We did mostly 1-2 day a week clinics until she was about 10. Really did not play a round of golf until then, which was really too long. Should have taken her out just to be on the course and play a few holes earlier. About 10 put her in a golf academy, which was basically group instruction about 2 hours twice a week. Also did a few individual lessons. As part of the academy they did some two person best ball tournaments and were part of a six player team competing against other similar academies in the area. Great way to introduce them to competitive golf since the best ball tournaments took some of the pressure off if they had a bad shot or day. I signed her up for a few individual tournaments starting about 12, but just a few until she was 13. From a confidence standpoint that was all she was ready for, and I tried to not make her play more when she was feeling good about her game. I really did not want to create any self doubt, but balance that with experience.

Her 8th grade year she was able to do off campus PE, so she had to be doing something involving golf for 15 hours a week. She kind of wanted to do that in 7th grade, but she was not ready for that time committment then. We did a mix of academy, private lessons, practice, playing, and tournaments during that time. Also,did some workout traing to get her stronger based on recommendations from her instructor. All this with the intention for her to make varsity on a real good high school team as a freshman. Which she did, playing as 4-5 player on a team that should qualify for the State tournament this year. Pretty good feat given the number of schools in their classification in Texas. In high school we are doing some private lessons to keep her sharp and working on the right things during the week when she practices with the team.

Couple of things I have learned. First, let the kid lead on the amount of time and level of involvement they want to have. Some kids want to be at the course every day, play as many tournaments as they can, some not as much. You can create the committment lesson with the academies if the kid commits to it, and not just make them go practice or play when they do not want to work that hard. Just setting the kid up to get burned out and eventually quit or not enjoy the sport like they should. Plus you do not want to be "one of this sports parents" that constantly push the kid, only really to push them out of the sport. It is a fine line to know how much and what they need to do, get them to make an honest effort and fulfill their committments and not push to hard.

Second thing I have learned is when choosing an instructor makes sure it is someone they connect with on a personal level. If there is a personality clash, or the instructor does not teach in the way the kid learns best doing go to someone else. You are wasting the kid's and the instructor's time and your money. Some kids are visual,learners, some more tactile, and the info has to be presented to them in the form they can process it and use it. With academies you have to be sure they are not only getting good instruction, but also actually working on the game not just a place for kids to get together and hang out.

As far as how much instructing you do, it will change over time. Until the last year or so I could correct some swing errors, but usually just tried to reinforce what I knew she was working on with her instructor. Taken lots of video, and if it was not real obvious what the problem was I would show her coach and get some guidance until the next lesson. That is another reason the kid and the coach need to connect, so they are willing to invest in their progress outside the hour they work with them. Lately about the only guidance I can give is strategy and help her think her way around the course.

It is a journey, and I have loved every minute of it.
 
That's great stuff, Tex! Sounds like she's doing really well. And I totally agree with you about not being the "insert-name-of-sport parent." I've been around plenty of youth sports both as a coach and parent. The early specialization that's going on with kids these days is maniacal. My son played travel hockey for a couple of years and it was just insane. The other parents literally ruined it. So yeah, I'm very conscious of not wanting to be "that dad." As far as the coach goes, I'm really hoping the gal I'm going to start him with clicks with him. She has a great reputation with juniors and has been working with one of the local kids who is now at Cal since he was in middle school. I think shooting video of them to let them see themselves swing is a great idea.
 
syndicate559 said:
That's great stuff, Tex! Sounds like she's doing really well. And I totally agree with you about not being the "insert-name-of-sport parent." I've been around plenty of youth sports both as a coach and parent. The early specialization that's going on with kids these days is maniacal. My son played travel hockey for a couple of years and it was just insane. The other parents literally ruined it. So yeah, I'm very conscious of not wanting to be "that dad." As far as the coach goes, I'm really hoping the gal I'm going to start him with clicks with him. She has a great reputation with juniors and has been working with one of the local kids who is now at Cal since he was in middle school. I think shooting video of them to let them see themselves swing is a great idea.
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Yeah real proud of her, she is do well. The video thing is great and easy to do. If your kid is a visual learner like mine it is invaluable. You can get the V1 golf phone app for $10 I think. With it you can draw lines and go back and forth through the swing in slow motion to look at something specific. Good luck with them!
 
Good thread. I've coached my kids in softball and baseball for the past 13 years. My son made it to a fairly high level but found the ultra competiveness of other players, coaches and parents to be a turn off. I tried hard not to be "that guy" or "that coach". But we've all seen how common it is and the pressure that kids face.

With golf I offered my son a few pointers then when I saw he was serious I put him in lessons. I attended too and it became a fun activity we shared rather than the coach - player relationship we'd had. I look at golf as a lifetime activity for us, hopefully he doesn't mid the old man tagging along.

Just remember to keep it fun. It's why we play in the first place.

Best of luck to all of you.
 
I was able to start my youngest son in the game at 11, early on it was just going to the range and having fun. As he became more serious he began asking more questions and I answered at the pace he was asking them, I let him set the pace lol otherwise we would have fought about it. (he was brilliant and knew everything) Together we were able to get to the high single digits and that's where the progress stopped for us as a team, he was developing his own swing thoughts and ideas and all I could pass on had been passed on for a while, we got him a few lessons with a great guy in myrtle and man he took off with that guy, he had a different set of eyes and fine tuned the plane and impact position. He's 24 now and the last couple years have been the greatest times of my golfing life, he was there for both my hole in ones and I was there for his first under par round. If I could offer any advice it would be to teach strong fundamentals and let it grow slowly until he needs someone else's help, if he loves the game and you love sharing it with him, get him or her the lessons they need you'll never regret it and neither will they, the memories I have I hold close to my heart and are some of my proudest moments as a parent. Corny I know but this game gives so much more than a good score, it gives breath to life sometimes.
 
Trout, that is awesome. Truly. You're a hell of a good dude and sounds like an awesome dad too.
 
Great day for my daughter today. She played the middle school district tournament and tied for first out of all 7th grade girls in the school district. She was awarded second place based on the tie breaker, but nobody beat her and she was such a great sport about it. Very proud papa.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk
 
My daughter had one of those break through scores this weekend. Shot 79, actually 78 if she did not let the other two girls convince her to take a penalty stroke on relief she was due for her stance being on a cart path. First time under 80 in a high school tournament, even though she has done it in club tournaments and practice rounds. Her score was part of a combined team score that set a scoring record for their district at 302 (4 best combined scores out of 5 girls).
 
My wife is getting nervous because our 17 and 15 year old are headed out soon on a church mission to Mexico to build houses for the poor. It's hard to let go and watch them turn into adults sometimes. Thank God my other daughter is only 9. She is quite the little golfer and has more fun on the course than anyone I know. It's shocking how quickly the last 10 years has gone. In 17 months my oldest will be off to college.
 
I don't have a teenager, but I can speak based solely on a couple of high schoolers I play golf with at my home course on occasion. They have each gone through lessons throughout their high school golf season. It didn't seem to be a big deal. Last summer, one of them (between his 8th and 9th grade years) also played in our men's league. He started taking a heavy regimen of lessons mid summer. He went from regularly shooting +5 in 9 holes to +15 in 9 holes for about 3 weeks. His instructor (who is also my instructor) was obviously doing a major overhaul to his swing. He came out a better player for it, but those few weeks were pretty awful. Of course, he had the mental toughness to realize that it would be better in the end, and he just had to grind through it.

So I guess the question is, does your kid have the mental toughness to undergo swing changes and go through a few weeks of playing poorly? He may not play poorly, but it's a possibility while having lessons and during that 'adjustment' period.

~Rock
 
McRock said:
I don't have a teenager, but I can speak based solely on a couple of high schoolers I play golf with at my home course on occasion. They have each gone through lessons throughout their high school golf season. It didn't seem to be a big deal. Last summer, one of them (between his 8th and 9th grade years) also played in our men's league. He started taking a heavy regimen of lessons mid summer. He went from regularly shooting +5 in 9 holes to +15 in 9 holes for about 3 weeks. His instructor (who is also my instructor) was obviously doing a major overhaul to his swing. He came out a better player for it, but those few weeks were pretty awful. Of course, he had the mental toughness to realize that it would be better in the end, and he just had to grind through it.

So I guess the question is, does your kid have the mental toughness to undergo swing changes and go through a few weeks of playing poorly? He may not play poorly, but it's a possibility while having lessons and during that 'adjustment' period.

~Rock
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I don't think many teenagers are in need of or can mentally handle a serious swing overhaul. There is also value in digging it out of the ground without regular instruction. More than half of all scratch golfers and club pros I know have never had anything more than a handful of lessons from a PGA teaching pro. Of the varsity golfers on our high school team 4 of the 6 starters fall into the no regular instruction category. The best player on the team, who is going on a golf scholarship to play for a top 50 ranked D1 golf program, has never had a lesson other than from his dad who is certainly not a pro. He does practice or play 300+ days a year so he has built his own swing with a strong work ethic and more importantly, he can fix his own swing when it goes awry.
 
This has been a very golf heavy school year for my family. My oldest daughter played her first season of competitive school golf in the fall and did very well. My son started lessons after his 7th grade season last spring. He played well and was top 2 on his team the entire season. He had a couple of tough matches toward the end of the season that really shook his confidence. With no instruction or structured routine to fall back on, he had a tough time pulling out of it and we're still working things out. Since starting with his coach, he's really worked on grip and posture a ton. He was blessed with beautiful natural tempo, but has struggled with confidence on the course. I'm really proud of him, because he's continued to work hard and hasn't lost any love for the game. He even failed to qualify for the first couple matches of this season, but took it like a man and played his way into the last few. I can see it starting to turn for him. I honestly think he may only be a couple months from beating me on the course. I'll write more about the specifics pf lessons and teens when I'm at an actual keyboard.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk
 
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