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Unsolicited advice

David7

David7

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I’m all for receiving advice with grace especially considering I’m relatively new. But there is a difference between advice and telling me how to play my game. I joined two players yesterday evening, they were probably about 15-20 years older than me. Both in carts, I was walking.

They would hit their shots then zoom past me, causing confusion for me while hitting my iron shots. They hit from the whites, me the golds which caused my approach shots to always be after theirs.

Annoying, but whatever.

Neither of them were keeping score, and let’s just say mulligans were fully legalized for them. Again, not my business.

Then the one guy starts telling me I need to drop another instead of playing it where it lies, and that I shouldn’t keep score. because I was slow mind you, I played faster than they. I suspect it was because he felt some sort of way that I was actually playing the ball where it lies.

Said he was playing for 40 years or something. Honestly if he were keeping score I’m not even sure it would have been better than mine (54).

They weren’t bad guys, it was just irritating.
 
Usually the way , where someone of alleged higher knowledge and skill offers a nugget of wisdom , gratis …. And unilaterally pisses you off …
there's are orders of magnitude where on low side you except it … on highest end of scale , you want to shove the bag of clubs up there back 9
lol 😂
 
If somebody starts annoying me on the course I put in my Airpods and they usually get the hint.
 
David7 said:
I’m all for receiving advice with grace especially considering I’m relatively new. But there is a difference between advice and telling me how to play my game. I joined two players yesterday evening, they were probably about 15-20 years older than me. Both in carts, I was walking.

They would hit their shots then zoom past me, causing confusion for me while hitting my iron shots. They hit from the whites, me the golds which caused my approach shots to always be after theirs.

Annoying, but whatever.

Neither of them were keeping score, and let’s just say mulligans were fully legalized for them. Again, not my business.

Then the one guy starts telling me I need to drop another instead of playing it where it lies, and that I shouldn’t keep score. because I was slow mind you, I played faster than they. I suspect it was because he felt some sort of way that I was actually playing the ball where it lies.

Said he was playing for 40 years or something. Honestly if he were keeping score I’m not even sure it would have been better than mine (54).

They weren’t bad guys, it was just irritating.
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That would be super irritating! That would earn them a bit of the stink eye I’d think from me. If someone was playing like that and suggested I was playing slow I might suggest they just drop on the green and play putt putt because that’s basically what they were doing
 
Bryndom said:
That would be super irritating! That would earn them a bit of the stink eye I’d think from me. If someone was playing like that and suggested I was playing slow I might suggest they just drop on the green and play putt putt because that’s basically what they were doing
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Crazy thing is, I’m not sure he was even out shooting me. And he definitely wasn’t faster than me. Should have called him the Mulligan Man.
 
Very similar thing happened to me when I first started. I was ok with the advice until he started suggesting I roll my ball to get a better lie.
Some of his advice was solid but a lot of it was total bs. He told me his name was on a plaque in the club house for shooting a hole in one when in fact it had been his third shot after hitting his first in the pond. I had already realized how much I didn’t want to be this guy, but that seemed over the top.
 
I have dealt with guys like that, and after the 3rd time they start to tell me what I "should" be doing, I tell them "I will play my game, you play yours". Usually, that kind of nips it in the bud, but if they persist, I just flat out ignore them. Had one guy just kept talking while I was setting up, so I just kept backing off, until his buddy told him "let him shoot". And, the unsolicited advice is usually from players that aren't any better than I am. I try not to engage in conversation when guys are like that, because it just invites the on course instruction. My playing buddy and I just played with a 5 hdcp. senior gentleman, finding this out after asking, and he only offered advice once, and that was after I said " I don't know what is the problem today", and he told me to "slow down your swing", and never heard him offer any advice after that.. I did just that, and it was better...
 
When someone does that to you, you can politely ask them, "Can you hit a ball and show me how it works?" That puts pressure on them to perform that they don't want, and you won't hear anything after that. A player who is good enough to show you and make it work is generally not the kind who gives unsolicited advice.

When someone asks me about how I hit a particular shot, I always reply, "I had a lesson from a pro who taught me how to hit it and then I practiced it a lot." I don't get asked again.
 
RecGolfer said:
When someone does that to you, you can politely ask them, "Can you hit a ball and show me how it works?" That puts pressure on them to perform that they don't want, and you won't hear anything after that. A player who is good enough to show you and make it work is generally not the kind who gives unsolicited advice.

When someone asks me about how I hit a particular shot, I always reply, "I had a lesson from a pro who taught me how to hit it and then I practiced it a lot." I don't get asked again.
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Couldn’t agree more! This guy was giving himself unlimited mulligans and trying to get me to do the same. I mean, I play by the relaxed rules of golf and all, but what he was doing wasn’t golf.
 
it's almost always the worst of us that give unsolicited advice....LOL

However, can i tell a positive story? When i was 25 or so, i was playing with a very good player, probably a +1 or +2 or so around then, and i was about a 5-6 index, clearly i had natural ability but my grip, swing etc was just completely homemade and i was still pretty new to golf. I got frustrated a couple of times throughout the round.

Anyway, after the round he asks me if he could take me aside and give me some feedback, to which i.....a 25yr old know-it-all, still for some reason accepted. For about 20-25 mins he gave me just some basic tips about grip and positions etc....and told me that with my ability i could be very good, but only if i accepted that the way i was going about it had severe limitations.

I ended up taking his advice to heart , and became a much better player longer term because of it. Sometimes there's good dudes out there who give advice!!!!

One thing that made me happy , is that 15yrs later, i ran into some people who knew him at a tournament (i always remembered his name). And i asked them to thank him for me for doing that, figuring he wouldn't even remember who i was LOL....he's in his 60's now. Anyway they promised me they would let him know. I haven't seen them since but it made me happy to think they would tell him i always remembered it 15 years later, and ended up becoming a competitive Am myself.
 
David7 said:
I’m all for receiving advice with grace especially considering I’m relatively new. But there is a difference between advice and telling me how to play my game. I joined two players yesterday evening, they were probably about 15-20 years older than me. Both in carts, I was walking.

They would hit their shots then zoom past me, causing confusion for me while hitting my iron shots. They hit from the whites, me the golds which caused my approach shots to always be after theirs.

Annoying, but whatever.

Neither of them were keeping score, and let’s just say mulligans were fully legalized for them. Again, not my business.

Then the one guy starts telling me I need to drop another instead of playing it where it lies, and that I shouldn’t keep score. because I was slow mind you, I played faster than they. I suspect it was because he felt some sort of way that I was actually playing the ball where it lies.

Said he was playing for 40 years or something. Honestly if he were keeping score I’m not even sure it would have been better than mine (54).

They weren’t bad guys, it was just irritating.
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Am Sorry for this, play your game, enjoy yourself, and smile as you beat them...Success is the best form of revenge...
 
Best thing to do is ignore them, play your game - be aware of others in your group and in front/behind you and as long as you are not encroaching on the ones in front or delaying the ones behind, just grin and bear it. No need to respond, maybe a thank you or head nod, then just play your game.

I used to get easily upset on the course, but since my return to golf about 3 years ago, nope, can't get upset out there - it helps nothing - I am not saying you did (or would), rather I try to use the same mindset for everything out there my game, the people I am with (I am ususally a single) the weather - any of it. Just play my game, don't delay people and enjoy being out there - that said, I find the golf course to be my 'church' my solitude - I refuse to f**k it up, or allow others to f**k it up for me.
 
Hey, my friend... did you need to stay with them (as part of the group)... or, could you have let them gone on ahead? I sure would have considered that if I had been in your position. You are a kind soul, David.
 
jpgolf said:
Hey, my friend... did you need to stay with them (as part of the group)... or, could you have let them gone on ahead? I sure would have considered that if I had been in your position. You are a kind soul, David.
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Thank you my friend. I could have just gone and played ahead of them as I was moving faster than they but I didn’t want to seem rude. I definitely considered it though and I probably should’ve.
 
Besides shoving the club up the back 9, lol, I will regularly just distance myself from two a -holes in a cart.

If I can't , I will respond with my thoughts on club face and ball position. Set up isn't visually exciting and bores the crap out of them.
 
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