What made you laugh today?
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Boyfriend Announces Plans To Black Out And Spend $600 At Golf Simulator
MILWAUKEE—Saying he had no idea at what hour of the night or early morning he would return, local boyfriend Adrian Martin announced Wednesday that he planned to black out and spend upwards of $600 at a golf simulator. “Yeah, I’m heading out with my buddies to that place RoboGolf—don’t wait...
www.theonion.com
Work, because if I didn't I'd cry
That did make me laugh. *
CorvetteGuy
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The day after his mother-in-law disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Twillingate, Newfoundland man answered his door to find two grim-faced RCMP officers.
"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your mother-in-law," said one of the officers.
“Tell me! Did you find her?” Cedric Flynn asked.
The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."
The RCMP officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your mother-in-law's body in the bay."
"Lord sufferin' Jaysus!" exclaimed Flynn. "What could possibly be the good news?"
The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic lobsters you could ever hope to see clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."
Stunned, Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"
The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your mother-in-law," said one of the officers.
“Tell me! Did you find her?” Cedric Flynn asked.
The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."
The RCMP officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your mother-in-law's body in the bay."
"Lord sufferin' Jaysus!" exclaimed Flynn. "What could possibly be the good news?"
The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic lobsters you could ever hope to see clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."
Stunned, Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"
The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
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And cry, again.
CorvetteGuy
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TheLarch
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On the way home today I see a tire rolling down the road from the opposite direction I'm heading. Big tire. I see a guy in a black compact sedan pulling over in the median about an eighth of a mile up. The only explanation is he had to have had the tire on the roof of his vehicle holding on to it with his left hand, he had to stop, and the tire decided to keep going.