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Your Expectations in Golf

I just don’t want to poop the bed at an event.
 
I used to be hard on myself, but I stumbled across John Sherman’s Four Foundations of Golf and The Sweet Spot podcast with Adam Young quite a few years beck. Fast forward to reading Mark Broadies book on Storkes gained (Every Shot Matters) and I realized how stupid my expectations were. Golf is really, really hard. Go out, have fun. If you really want to get better you have to put time in, and most of us don’t have the time to dedicate for hours of practice or have access to facilities to do so.

I now shoot for the center of greens, punch out of trees or long rough and take my medicine. I try to lag the ball as close to the hole as possible when I putt, butt I don’t get mad when I 3 putt from outside 40 feet (even the pros do it). But I have also worked on my Driver a ton the past 6 years. That was my Achilles heel, thank you Arccos for showing me that I was on average losing over 5 strokes with my driver.

If I hit a bad shot I don’t get mad ( very often). I regroup and try to make a good swing next time. Golf is so much more enjoyable when you don’t get raging mad at yourself.

I try to have as much fun as I can with anyone I golf with (including random people I get paired with). Life’s too short not to have fun!
 
I mentioned earlier on shots that frustrate me. I think it’s important to note my frustrations are very short term. I don’t let them affect the next shot or even the whole round. I still find myself having fun every time I’m out.
 
From 150 out, my expectations depend on the course. A few courses here in Charleston I’m hoping to be at least 50% from 150 due to the size of the green. Others, I’m lucky if I hit 15-20% if them. Realistically, I’m just hoping I’m at least pin high and within 20-30 yards (60-90 feet) on avg although that might be lofty haha.

Putting from 10 feet I’m expecting to at least scare the hole or miss because I over read a break.

All in all. I’m just happy to be playing and glad I’m getting back into the sport that has carried me through some pretty rough **** the past 5 or 6 years.
 
MtlJeff said:
I think this is a great point that i thought about too---Being hard on yourself doesn't mean you are being unrealistic. It can just mean you put a lot of pressure on yourself to execute shots you are capable of executing.

Now, you have to realize you won't do it every time ---But if you are attempting to hit a shot you are very capable of hitting---being hard on yourself if you don't is not the same as being unrealistic
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I agree with this. You should expect to execute the shots you’ve practiced and mastered. The unrealistic expectations come into play when expecting to execute those shots perfect everytime, and then having the result match the perceived effort every time. Golf isn’t a game of perfect, it’s just hard to remember that sometimes.
 
I’m hard on my self only because I know what’s possible and what I’ve seen myself do. I will never expect anything out of myself that I know I’m not good at or haven’t worked to get better at.
 
Thrillbilly Jim said:
I just don’t want to poop the bed at an event.
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Ah, it’s not that bad. I went 0-3, got absolutely destroyed in alt shot (maybe the worst beat down in THP experiences), and sent a ball to visit Jack and Jose. Swing ran the gamut from bad to very good but the end results cost me a bunch of Albatross coins. Still had a blast and I still laugh about the results.
 
JB said:
I do think stat tracking with Shot Scope helps a lot of this. You realize what you are as a golfer and where you can improve.
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This. Some kind of statistical analysis of your abilities vs those of someone better than you gives a lot of clarity of where you stand and what you truly need work on.
 
There is a reel circulating on SM with a guy delivering, what might be, the most relevant thing I have heard on this subject. The gist of it is: "you are not good enough to get mad." On the face of it, this sentiment can be taken as condescending as hell, but when put into the proper context, it makes all the sense in the world. Most of us are not getting paid to play this game, nor have our games risen to the level that we are playing golf on TV on the weekends. So we are not good enough to get mad about a bad shot or a terrible round, and that is okay.
 
Pat_McAdams said:
I used to be hard on myself, but I stumbled across John Sherman’s Four Foundations of Golf and The Sweet Spot podcast with Adam Young quite a few years beck. Fast forward to reading Mark Broadies book on Storkes gained (Every Shot Matters) and I realized how stupid my expectations were. Golf is really, really hard. Go out, have fun. If you really want to get better you have to put time in, and most of us don’t have the time to dedicate for hours of practice or have access to facilities to do so.

I now shoot for the center of greens, punch out of trees or long rough and take my medicine. I try to lag the ball as close to the hole as possible when I putt, butt I don’t get mad when I 3 putt from outside 40 feet (even the pros do it). But I have also worked on my Driver a ton the past 6 years. That was my Achilles heel, thank you Arccos for showing me that I was on average losing over 5 strokes with my driver.

If I hit a bad shot I don’t get mad ( very often). I regroup and try to make a good swing next time. Golf is so much more enjoyable when you don’t get raging mad at yourself.

I try to have as much fun as I can with anyone I golf with (including random people I get paired with). Life’s too short not to have fun!
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Course management is such a huge part of scoring well. I like to think I'm pretty decent at the mental side of course management - I can think my way around a course pretty well and if you put me in a situation I think I'll choose the right shot most of the time. The problem lies in the gap between thought and physically executing the shot.
 
I definitely expect a lot more than I probably should out of myself when I play. I know I'm not very good so shouldn't expect too much, but I just feel like I should do better than I do. I am working on being realistically with myself and not expecting more than I truly am capable of, but I still am hard on myself sometimes. I am also trying to get better, and I know I'll never be great, but I know I can get where I want to be.

BigMac said:
Course management is such a huge part of scoring well. I like to think I'm pretty decent at the mental side of course management - I can think my way around a course pretty well and if you put me in a situation I think I'll choose the right shot most of the time. The problem lies in the gap between thought and physically executing the shot.
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This is so true. I definitely do better when I manage the course better and take the smart way around rather than going for the hero shots. I'm right there with you on having the gap between thought and physical execution!
 
I struggle with unfair, unrealistic expectations, and I believe the line between confidence and expectations is too thin in my brain.

I am proud of how I handled my last THP experience and want to go into any future events like I went into last year’s Quest Cup. I didn’t burden myself with pressure or expectations. I was all in to help my team win, but I didn’t expect that we or I would.
 
JB said:
With my job, I play with a lot of golfers.
I was speaking to someone that hosts events with us and he talked about the level of expectations that are out there vs our abilities.

We were talking about hitting greens from a simple shot like 150 yards.
He spoke about the best players in the history of the game, missing one out of every four of those shots. Yet watching people there appears to be a level of expectation that is unlikely to lead to any sort of success, because its not possible generally speaking.

Another one is the 10 foot putt. The make percentage on the PGA Tour is roughly 4 out of 10. While at your home course the greens might be easier, where we host THP Experiences, often times, they are just as challenging as what is used on tour. So what level of expectations should there be?

Im challenging every THPer that is going to an Experience this year, to embrace the challenges of golf. Work to get better, but embrace what exists.
Are you hard on yourself out there? Why do you think you should expect more out of your game than the best in the world?
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I’ve learned over time to not necessarily lower my expectations, but adjust them. As a mid-high handicap, I’m more than likely not going to go out and card multiple birdies in a round. Shoot, I’m not going to get THAT many pars. I’ve tried to work on shifting my focus to bogey+ avoidance. I used to be really hard on myself, but then just eventually figured out this game is hard. I am out to have fun and I am not a pro, and it’s not worth getting irrationally upset over
 
I feel like I keep my expectations in line with my level of play. I only get frustrated when there is a huge drop off from what I should be able to do or when I’m really struggling with a certain aspect of the game. For example, last year, I really had a hard time accepting the fact that my short game was as bad as it was. Not that I had delusions of being Scottie Scheffler, but I did feel I should be able to execute a basic chip consistently without blading every third one across the green.

My proudest golf achievement of last year was playing well at a THP experience. It is a magical event and the Dormie venues are so amazing. But you also have the pressure of playing competitive golf, often in front of a small group.it is easy to get caught up in the moment and the competition instead of just executing a golf shot like you were on your home course. In my play well, I mean, play well for my handicap. Which I think was really important. You gotta be the best version of you if that makes sense.
 
I’m hard on myself because I want to be better. Failures are going to happen but accepting it as my final result is not the way to live.
 
I was going to make a similar post somewhat related to this. I know I started way late in the game. I know I am a brand new beginner. And the thoughts that pop in my head just to the basics of golf. I have a ball. I have a club in which the sweet spot isn't much bigger than the ball. I have clubs with different lofts that I need to deloft when I swing and do it repeatedly so that I can dial in my club yardages. I think I have that part right. I think that is what I see as impossible for me in the game of golf. I see guys, even amateurs that are getting fitted, heck even pretty high handicappers swing where their swing speed is very close on each swing, and their dispersion is something I dream of. I am not going to call those expectations at this point of my game but more of a goal. I don't care about 300 yard drives, hole in ones, eagles, maybe even birdies. Three putting at this stage is something I am not worried about. At least give me: oh yeah I hit my 7 iron 135 yards, I know I can land on the green from 112 yards out, what exactly do I do from the sand to even get within 20 feet of the hole, etc.

Maybe for me, going the goal route instead of the expectation route would be: I want to shoot 105-115 (for now) especially if I am having fun. I want to hit my driver 200-220 yards, I want to get the ball near the cup on long putts even if it took me two putts to get there.

Great topic OP.
 
collegefbfan said:
I was going to make a similar post somewhat related to this. I know I started way late in the game. I know I am a brand new beginner. And the thoughts that pop in my head just to the basics of golf. I have a ball. I have a club in which the sweet spot isn't much bigger than the ball. I have clubs with different lofts that I need to deloft when I swing and do it repeatedly so that I can dial in my club yardages. I think I have that part right. I think that is what I see as impossible for me in the game of golf. I see guys, even amateurs that are getting fitted, heck even pretty high handicappers swing where their swing speed is very close on each swing, and their dispersion is something I dream of. I am not going to call those expectations at this point of my game but more of a goal. I don't care about 300 yard drives, hole in ones, eagles, maybe even birdies. Three putting at this stage is something I am not worried about. At least give me: oh yeah I hit my 7 iron 135 yards, I know I can land on the green from 112 yards out, what exactly do I do from the sand to even get within 20 feet of the hole, etc.

Maybe for me, going the goal route instead of the expectation route would be: I want to shoot 105-115 (for now) especially if I am having fun. I want to hit my driver 200-220 yards, I want to get the ball near the cup on long putts even if it took me two putts to get there.

Great topic OP.
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One of the beauties of this game is that your goals and expectations can (and will) evolve over time.

I also think I'd differentiate between goals and expectations, at least in the context of this conversation. For a mid/high handicap, it's a goal to say that you want to break 80 (or even shoot under par) someday. It's a goal, it's long term, and it's going to require a lot of small steps and hard work along the way. To me, in this context, expectations are a shorter term thing dealing with the here and now. For a mid/high handicap to expect to hit 14 greens in regulation, or make 90% of their putts from 10 feet, or hit all their approach shots to 10 feet or less, with their current game/skillset, are unrealistic expectations and are only going to lead to frustration. There's a treasure trove of data from millions of golf shots and golfers, which tells us that a mid/high handicap isn't going to do those things and shouldn't expect to.
 
This is a great post!!!
My expectations changed after reading "The Four Fundementals of Golf" by Jon Sherman where he lays out all the stats you just cited.
If a Pro is only 50% from 8 feet why do we get so upset when we miss it? Most of us don't practice nearly as much as they do.

Embrace playing for the sake of playing and try to get better but realize its a game of Imperfect and some days are better than others.
 
Golf Jones said:
There is a reel circulating on SM with a guy delivering, what might be, the most relevant thing I have heard on this subject. The gist of it is: "you are not good enough to get mad." On the face of it, this sentiment can be taken as condescending as hell, but when put into the proper context, it makes all the sense in the world. Most of us are not getting paid to play this game, nor have our games risen to the level that we are playing golf on TV on the weekends. So we are not good enough to get mad about a bad shot or a terrible round, and that is okay.
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@Golf Jones - THIS is the key to my enjoyment of golf! My very talented golf buddy said this to me a few years ago and it's hard coded into my brain. "You aren't good enough to get mad!" Its brilliant! So glad some others in the world have this mindset too. I think we all can learn from that and just move on from a bad shot.
 
So many golfers have unrealistic expectations from what I have seen over the years playing with different people

The number of people who think they should be sinking every 6ft putt, or hitting every wedge to inside 15ft is laughable and I just ignore their outbursts

It is all well and good being hard on yourself, but at least be realistic about it
 
Thanks for starting this thread, I also had thoughts of starting a similar thread about expectations vs reality, but more green related. I got the idea from seeing a stop sign with a no parking for 30 feet sign, and 30 feet painted off on the curb. I saw that and thought, "if I had this for a putt, I'd expect to 2 putt this more often than not. However, that's not nearly a given for someone at my level, especially on the courses I play. There were also parking spaces that I would pace off and realize that's about 20 feet.

Should I broaden it out to longer shots, and my level, I shouldn't get too angry if I make good contact but the results are not optimal. Especially since, at my home course, the greens are probably smaller than my dispersion circles. Now, if I made a dumb decision, or missed something I should've seen, I'll chide myself, but I try not to let it affect me for more than that shot. Now, there are times when I screw up a lot and more than I'd like, and I don't like how mad I get, but I think I do a good job of not letting affect me. I will say that playing a lot of rounds where I don't keep score helps with my mental game too.
 
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I have been on vacation and just saw this. My expectations are not overblown. I can shoot an 80 or 95 on any given day with my dispersion.

Those days that I shoot 80, that 20 yard miss from 150 lands on the green or in an easy up/down area. Those 90 days, it lands in a bunker. Those 95 days, a few hit water.

I can take my same game to the same course with the same dispersion and get a variety of scores. I work a lot on my short game and tee game to try and keep scores closer to the median. I will never be a pro and my scores depend on where my misses land or how many of my 4/10 avg on 12’ or less hit the cup. Obviously, if the 12’ or less is closer to 8’ on any given day, my scores improve.
 
What a timely thread.

I just got home from my season opening golf trip where I played decently well, considering this was the first time I stepped on a golf course in more than 7 months.

I’m internally competitive so always want to do my best. Especially when I know I can hit a shot that I just missed.

I’ll always want to do well, but a little positive self-talk is a great idea. I do this all the time on the course. A good reminder of where I’m at and what I can do.

I’m embracing the challenge, the conditions, and going out to have fun, and do my best this June at Victoria National at the SkyTrak Experience.
 
oumagic said:
I have been on vacation and just saw this. My expectations are not overblown. I can shoot an 80 or 95 on any given day with my dispersion.

Those days that I shoot 80, that 20 yard miss from 150 lands on the green or in an easy up/down area. Those 90 days, it lands in a bunker. Those 95 days, a few hit water.

I can take my same game to the same course with the same dispersion and get a variety of scores. I work a lot on my short game and tee game to try and keep scores closer to the median. I will never be a pro and my scores depend on where my misses land or how many of my 4/10 avg on 12’ or less hit the cup. Obviously, if the 12’ or less is closer to 8’ on any given day, my scores improve.
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Are you sure you're not talking about my game? :) You summed up the last 40 years of golf for me!
 
I get frustrated, but typically don’t get too down on myself because what’s the point. Lately, I’ve been trying to embrace Ted Lasso’s “be a goldfish” coaching advice.
 
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