Expectations

[50wyldeman]

So I am curious to see if anyone else feels this way.
I find that in general expectations kinda muck things up , so often when we expect something of someone or something it seems like they just fall short. Often times leading to disappointment and frustration.

I am noticing that this is nowhere more apparent than in golf, for me at least.

When I first began being a bit more serious about my game I was very happy to have a long putt lag nicely to within a foot or two of the hole, now I am am frustrated to not hole it at times. Same with bunker play it is no longer satisfying merely to get out in one stroke I am let down to not be in good position for an up and down.

It is not as bad as I am conveying it I just mean to say that as we improve is it natural to expect and demand more from ourselves, and how to use it constructively?

 

[P.J.]

At times I feel the exact same way. Your game is growing and you feel there are shots you should make to a certain degree and they don't turn out.

One thing I learned, and have to remind myself constantly is many shots we take are tougher than we think. Really watch a tournament on tv and listen to some of the commentary. How many times do they say "that's a tough lie" or "this is a tough putt to read" or "that's a tough area to get up and down from" and that's for the pros. I used to walk up to any lie or situation and think I should get up and down from here or I should make this shot workout. Well sometimes you're in a damn tough position and you don't even realize it. Remind yourself to cut yourself some slack, you ended up in a solid spot considering the situation - because many times it's probably true...

 

[rollin]

Golf is very humbling game for sure and expectations are always relevant no matter how we play as they can still cause a let down. The more we expect the bigger the let down. Even when we take our medicine and play the easier or safer shot it then becomes even more of a let down when we fail at that shot anyway. We took a shot with a higher success rate and therefore our expectation to make it was also higher but we failed anyway so it feels even worse. I'm sure we've all done that.

Just like in life as a child being told by a parent or myself as parent telling a child. "expect nothing and you'll appreciate everything" but conversely "expect everything and you'll appreciate nothing". Two extremes of course but they are real. Bottom line is no one is perfect and one has to look at things as the "glass being half full" and appreciate the shots we did make and build on them instead of crying over the ones we didn't. Not easy to do I know.

Like "Rocky Balboa" might say- (beside "yo Adrian") lol "it's not about getting hit, it's about how much we can take and keep getting up" If we all made all the shots we thought we expected to make even if we kept it humble we would all be on the PGA tour and probably kick but too. Golf is hard and we have to deal with it. One must find a way to deal with failed expectations and at the same time not allow it to get you messed up or loose confidence or stop having fun. There is no magic potion for this or perhaps there is and its simply in our own minds and its called "acceptance" but that should not be confused with giving up or feeling we are bad at what we do. Two very different things. Learn to accept our failed expectations (or shots in golf) and it wont play games with our heads for the next one.

 

[Golf 'N Gator]

I expect to play well day in day out, but I never go to the course thinking I'll shoot in the 60's or something like that. I don't set the bar so high I can't get there. I also learned long ago to never get too high when a good round happens or get too low when a bad one happens. Golf is day to day even for the world class professionals.

Another great tip I got from my Dad 40 years ago is to "let others brag about your game" never do it yourself, because when you do, the golf god will dump on you and make you look like a fool.

 

[50wyldeman]

I expect to play well day in day out, but I never go to the course thinking I'll shoot in the 60's or something like that. I don't set the bar so high I can't get there. I also learned long ago to never get too high when a good round happens or get too low when a bad one happens. Golf is day to day even for the world class professionals.

Another great tip I got from my Dad 40 years ago is to "let others brag about your game" never do it yourself, because when you do, the golf god will dump on you and make you look like a fool.

Your dad was a very wise man it would seem I love this quote!