Ball Pickers, ball washers and more-Golf Course Employee Stories

SquirrelyDave

Allegedly....
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I'm going to be honest with ya'll. I'm blatantly ripping of @golfunfitered here, so thanks for the idea Adam!

I know there are a lot of us who picked up the game in our teens working at golf courses, and quite a few members here who still work at golf courses. Combining lots of teenagers getting paid minimum wage, with lots of wide open unsupervised space and industrial equipment can only lead to hijinks, terror and hilarity. I'm sure there are a lot of great golf course employee stories and I want to hear yours.

Fair is fair so I'll start. :alien:

Way back in the day (Bone Thugz N Harmony in the cassette player that lived in the ball picker back in the day) I worked a "general laborer" (I believe was the official job title) for the muni in my hometown. So I scrubbed carts, cleaned rental clubs, cleaned bathrooms, annoyed the pro shop staff as much as possible and generally did as little as I possibly could there. Lots of fun and I was working for gas money and an excuse to get out of the house. I'll admit, I wasn't REAL attached to the job, but it was fun and we had a pretty good crew working there. One night towards the end of summer we were winding down a bit early as things slowed down a bit, and someone decided that we should take the top of a golf cart out on the driving range and pull it around with the ball picker, which was an old John Deere with about 47 gears and a top speed of 12 MPH. Being the type of analytical person that I am, I realized that while pulling some poor slob around with the tractor was fun, we could amplify that fun if we could only get something that went faster than the tractor...lo and behold! I had my truck keys in my pocket. So I pulled a couple guys around for a while, over the hills and right up along the fencing around the range, and a new game was discovered, "how close to maiming your fellow employee can you get?" It was a good game and a whole lot of fun, just goofing off with my coworkers, no one died, and I don't think anyone got fired, but watching my coworkers, and eventually myself get thrown off that golf cart lid was an absolute blast.

What stories do you have?
 
Growing up in Denver I worked for a dictrict called the Foothills park and recreation district. My main job was I pulled trap at the local trap shooting club. The trap club set right next to the Foothills golf club. We would bring our old beat up clubs and raid the driving range for miss hit balls in the evenings and head back to the trap club and try to hit balls over the 30 foot netting from about 120 yards out for beers. It got super competitive and on Monday night the Coors league would come out and shoot, as you can imagine there was lots of coors lights floating around. Eventually they started bringing their clubs too and us kids had a great time with the older guys drinking beers and betting on shots. That was the summer of 89, good good times.

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Well I worked cart staff at a place called granite links in high school. We were missing one cart, so I checked the computer to see where the gps said it was. Behind the 8th green in the maintenance area. So okay, I went out there to retrieve it, and what do you know there’s two members doing the dirty in the cart. It was a running joke for years... “where are you cart 35?”


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Well I worked cart staff at a place called granite links in high school. We were missing one cart, so I checked the computer to see where the gps said it was. Behind the 8th green in the maintenance area. So okay, I went out there to retrieve it, and what do you know there’s two members doing the dirty in the cart. It was a running joke for years... “where are you cart 35?”


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Just to update this story for you, the girl that was in the cart (a members daughter) got married up there last year. Of course the head pro couldn't resist parking cart #35 below the board announcing their wedding and reception. He took pictures and sent it to various guys who used to work there. I'm sure the father and daughter were oblivious to it all.
 
Just to update this story for you, the girl that was in the cart (a members daughter) got married up there last year. Of course the head pro couldn't resist parking cart #35 below the board announcing their wedding and reception. He took pictures and sent it to various guys who used to work there. I'm sure the father and daughter were oblivious to it all.

NT, BI, or SC? That’s hilarious


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Oh man, I used to work in the cart barn at a private club. The shenanigans that went on there. There was a member that was a total dick and for some reason rats and snakes kept dying in his bag. Weird. There was another member that also treated us like he was God and we were his lowly servants. The pro shop called and asked us to go pick him up on the course because he drank too much and didn't feel good. We drove him back and went up and over and around every hump and bump on the course and managed to get him to puke. That was a good day
 
I worked at a country club (which will be nameless) when I was a teenager for a good 8 years or so. Worked the grounds, mowed the greens & fairways, cut the hole placements, etc. There was also a set of indoor tennis courts that we used to call the "Tennis Bubble." Well one night we thought it would be fun after the bubble closed to climb up on top of it and see if it was like a trampoline or if it was sturdy. One guy was a bit heavy set and was afraid he might fall in or break the bubble, so he decided to stay grounded and be the lookout. We put a six pack in one of our back packs and climbed up the ropes to the top. Only problem was you had to hang on to the rope with one hand while you drank your beer with the other ... otherwise you could slide off the side real quick.
You could see the entire town around us, including DC. Well OK, the name of it was Army & Navy Country Club. Had a great vantage point of the Washington Monument we found out ... so ever since then, we found our spot to watch the fireworks on July 4th.

I wonder if anyone still does it. When I think back of all the stuff I did as a teenager ... wow, what fun! Lucky I'm still alive
 
I currently work at a country club in Florida and play with many members. One member in particular who has a well known temper, was under a tree and was forced to hit a low shot from 100 yards out. He pulled his putter and hit the ball as hard as he could. The ball travelled about 50 yards before hitting a squirrel directly in the head and killing said squirrel. He was mortified and on the verge of tears.

I thought this might be an excellent opportunity for fun. So for this members birthday, I ordered a LARGE squirrel headcover from the BAY. I cut a golf call in half painted parts of the ball with red nail polish to simulate blood and glued it to the forehead of the the squirrel head cover which I named, "Nibbles."

I had the members girlfriend present Nibbles to the member on his birthday. But only after creating a reenactment of the murder of NIBBLES. Utilizing by daughters voice for Nibbles and her boyfriend as the main actor (both also work at undisclosed golf course) We created an autobiography of Nibbles last day. It also included several other members interviews and girlfriends children of how disgusted they were of him for killing Nibbles. The video ended with photos of the deceased Nibbles with background bagpipe music of TAPS.

He took the video hard at first but has embraced it and still uses the Nibbles headcover. Somehow just about every member has seen the video reenactment. If anyone would like to see the video send me your email, it was a stellar production.
 
Almost 10 years as a superintendent, good grief I wouldn’t know where to start. John Daly bombing balls off the driving range into “preferred parking” and the sound of car alarms going off. Phil Mickelson parking a Buick on an embankment so steep he could barely get the car door open.

Then there was the cart kid that decided to fill a tour bag with new Titleist “Practice” balls and hide it in the bag room until the tournament was over. Would have been the perfect caper until it fell over. We’re talking 100’s of balls bouncing across a concrete floor. 🤣
 
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