Private School vs Public School?

Jman said:

I teach public, and I can safely say my daughter will go private if possible since we will be able to afford it.

If you can afford it, go private.

Click to expand...

You don't think being around different walks would be valuable growing up? We had great public schools here so it wasn't like inner city Chicago.

I just think you miss some valuable things only being surrounded by the "privileged"

I believe kids are a product of the home and not the surroundings. I knew more junky screw ups from the private schools here than public.

Once again though the public education system here is one of the tops in the country so I may be jaded.

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

I suppose it will depend greatly on the quality of both in your area. I went public until Junior High and then went private catholic in Jr. high and all boy private in HS. In my case, the quality of my education was ten fold better on the private side. Our daughter went private until HS then went public for HS because of the school she had access to. It was also good for her from a social perspective since she went to a very small private school.

Lots of variables of course. If you give either a try at this early age, it won't be too hard to make a change after a year or too if you feel the need.

JM

I went to public school my whole life. When I got to grad school I noticed many of my classmates had substantially better academic work habit than me. Every single one of them went to private school. I made a mental note that if possible I wanted my kids in a private school to learn those habits. We had a child. That child has ADHD and I feared he'd slip through the cracks at our over-crowded public schools. The decision was cemented. We have been extremely happy with our kids at a private school.

Negatives:
- (assuming Catholic school) There's a certain 'machine' at play...organizational stuff, political stuff, etc. There are limits to what you can change or get your way.
- cost
- the student body will be more white and less diverse
- (assuming Catholic school) tough environment to be in if you aren't Christian

Positives (really, the list could go on forever)
- Small class sizes (each of my kid's classes have between 17-19 kids)
- Responsiveness. If I send an email, I get a response that day. If I leave a message, I get a response that day. It isn't uncommon to get a return email or call from a teacher, principal or administrator at home that night.
- If you have 'traditional' values, private schools are your happy place. None of the other 'stuff' that is encouraged/embraced/accepted in public schools. If your values are aligned to the school where you send the kids, you definitely will not get that in a public school (likewise, if you are an athiest/agnostic, your values may be better reflected in a public environment).
- Superior academic environment.
- Being part of community. Our kid's school is associated with a parish. Even though we aren't Catholic and aren't members of the parish, we are still members of this community. Parents / families help each other, do stuff for each other, care about each other.
- You pay, you matter. To be blunt, private schools run on a tight budget. They don't want to lose your tuition. (see responsiveness)
- Faith. If you are a person of faith it really does make a difference having them in a faith based environment. Your beliefs are reinforced and encouraged every day between the hours of 7:30 and 4pm, and at every school event.

Really, I could go on for a while. We've been very happy. I should say that I have no point of reference for current public schools (other than class size - which are @30). Maybe it is the same in public schools, but I doubt it.

I feared having them around privileged people all the time. At least at our school, that is not the case. There are a lot of families that are making big sacrifices to have them at the school. Also, understand that just because kids are at a private school does not make the better or perfect. Having coached both kids' grades for several years I can assure you, kids are kids. The difference is there are firm expectations around behavior which are enforced, etc.

Private School vs Public School?

tequila4kapp said:

I went to public school my whole life. When I got to grad school I noticed many of my classmates had substantially better academic work habit than me. Every single one of them went to private school. I made a mental note that if possible I wanted my kids in a private school to learn those habits. We had a child. That child has ADHD and I feared he'd slip through the cracks at our over-crowded public schools. The decision was cemented. We have been extremely happy with our kids at a private school.

Negatives:
- (assuming Catholic school) There's a certain 'machine' at play...organizational stuff, political stuff, etc. There are limits to what you can change or get your way.
- cost
- the student body will be more white and less diverse
- (assuming Catholic school) tough environment to be in if you aren't Christian

Positives (really, the list could go on forever)
- Small class sizes (each of my kid's classes have between 17-19 kids)
- Responsiveness. If I send an email, I get a response that day. If I leave a message, I get a response that day. It isn't uncommon to get a return email or call from a teacher or administrator at home that night.
- If you have 'traditional' values, private schools are your happy place. None of the other 'stuff' that is encouraged/embraced/accepted in public schools.
- Superior academic environment. If your values are aligned to the school where you send the kids, you definitely will not get that in a public school (likewise, if you are an athiest/agnostic, your values may be better reflected in a public environment).
- Being part of community. Our kid's school is associated with a parish. Even though we aren't Catholic and aren't members of the parish, we are still members of this community. Parents / families help each other, do stuff for each other, care about each other.
- You pay, you matter. To be blunt, private schools run on a tight budget. They don't want to lose your tuition. (see responsiveness)
- Faith. If you are a person of faith it really does make a difference having them in a faith based environment. Your beliefs are reinforced and encouraged every day between the hours of 7:30 and 4pm, and at every school event.

Really, I could go on for a while. We've been very happy. I should say that I have no point of reference for current public schools (other than class size - which are @30). Maybe it is the same in public schools, but I doubt it.

Click to expand...

Thanks for taking the time and laying out the pros and cons for you. I do like the faith based school, we are Catholic but not the best at going to church because I travel about 8-9 months a year. The hard part for me and maybe I should just get past it, but I'm cheap. I hate spending money when not needed. We built this house in a good school district outside of town so we could send them to public school with no worries. Had I known we were doing private I could have saved quite a bit on the house/taxes and lived inside the city limits. But it seems like the public school district we live in is very unaccommodating in terms of giving us a reason on why our kids could be sent 30 minutes away to an Elementary school when we have an elementary school 3 miles from our house.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

jspangs said:

Thanks for taking the time and laying out the pros and cons for you. I do like the faith based school, we are Catholic but not the best at going to church because I travel about 8-9 months a year. The hard part for me and maybe I should just get past it, but I'm cheap. I hate spending money when not needed. We built this house in a good school district outside of town so we could send them to public school with no worries. Had I known we were doing private I could have saved quite a bit on the house/taxes and lived inside the city limits. But it seems like the public school district we live in is very unaccommodating in terms of giving us a reason on why our kids could be sent 30 minutes away to an Elementary school when we have an elementary school 3 miles from our house.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Click to expand...

I'll be honest. There are times when we see friends buying new cars, taking bigger vacations, living in bigger houses...and we have intermittent moments where we wish we had that too. But I can't emphasize this enough: it passes. Like in 2 moments. Because we always come back to this - we are getting tremendous value for every dime we are spending and if you can't spend money on your kids, what's the point? I am also cheap. I've never regretted this expense for even a second.

As a teacher it all depends on the schools in your area. I teach at a public school that I would send my kids to all day long. Last year I was at a school that I would not send the Devils kids to. Cost plays a big part but I feel it comes down to the quality of the population and teachers for the schools your children will attend. If you live in a good school district I say go public first and see how it does. If your not liking it then save up and move money around to pay for private.

Sent from my VS986 using Tapatalk

Another thought...you may see curriculum differences relative to Common Core. I don't literally know for sure, but I was just thinking about how I hear my neighbors who have their kids at the public school comment about the craziness of CC. It occurs to me that we don't experience the same thing. This could vary by region/diocese, you should probably check.

wubears71 said:

I attended private school my whole life - catholic grade school and boys catholic high school and then Washington University in St. Louis for my BS and MBA. We plan on sending our kids to private catholic school. Around here, what we are seeing is that public schools do a great job teaching all kinds of students. Private schools struggle if the child is either exceptionally gifted or has major learning disorders.

Click to expand...

What wubears71 said - always been very true for Catholic schools (especially elementary schools). I teach at a Jesuit (Catholic) HS and all 3 kids went to Catholic grade school. My oldest (daughter) switched to public school in 7th grade because she wanted to sing, dance, and be in school plays the Catholic school didn't have any of that. She was in the gifted program in both schools & always enjoyed school. Switching at 7th grade to the public HS was no problem since 5-6 elementary schools fed into the middle school (7th & 8th). She did great at the the public school (which had a fantastic drama dept. But she was very smart, VERY driven to get all A's, and took all Honors/AP classes, so even though the school was large (1600-2000), she basically spent all 4 years with a small group (almost a school within a school).

My oldest boy (now a junior) stayed in the Catholic gradeschool & is going to my school now. The youngest (now in 7th) was born with apraxia (or dyspraxia?) and was slow to grow and talk and learn. He still struggles to process information & teachers are big into "He needs to be responsible for his own learning" and don't write a lot of the HW assignments down (or post them online) & he has to work a lot harder than the rest of the class just to keep up.

We probably should've started him in public school, where he could get help & be on an IEP, but by the time he was old enough to voice his opinion he wanted to stay with his brother & friends.

We will send him to my high school, and it will be tough for him, but the thing I worry about (having been a teacher for many years in public schools) is sometimes the special ed kids are just kind of moved along without challenging them or teaching them basic skills they'll need after HS (more a fault of school system than the special ed teachers). And since I'll be there with him every day I can make sure he's keeping up with stuff (so that's a different situation than most people have).

I will also say that Catholic elementary schools have a slight but definite "anti-boy" bias. Teachers generally prefer children who sit quietly and are eager to please, and this tends to be girls over boys. Not just my observation but that of many parents.

The main difference between the local public HS and the Jesuit HS (and other Catholic HS's in general - not sure about all private HS's) is that if you're an average kid, you can coast through HS at the public school & pass without a ton of effort, and can often be totally unprepared for college. At my school, we really challenge each kid & demand a lot from them, so pretty much every student is ready for college. In fact, I've had kids come back to visit and say essentially "in HS I was the dumb kid, and now friends/roommates are coming to me for help writing papers, etc."

If kids are smart and motivated & their family puts an emphasis on education, they will do well anywhere. If kids tend to be unmotivated and would just coast if left to themselves, Catholic HS might be tough in the short run but beneficial* in the long run.

*And all of the above is just regarding academics; I didn't even consider the religious education aspect, which I think is very important & another reason why my boys are going there. Doing service hours, volunteer work, immersion trips/mission trips forces them out of their comfort zone & forces them to see how other people live (& die).

Too long of a response, but I hope this helps & PM me if you have any questions. Just remember the thing that matters the most is parents who are involved, show they care & model learning as a lifestyle, but who are also detached enough to let kids fail on their own & learn from their failures.

Growing up, there were two religions - the Catholics and the Publics

Click to expand...

This reminded me so much of one of George Carlin's skits about some of the books he read as a kid, about Buddy & Joey: "Buddy was a Catholic...and Joey...WAS NOT! (gasp!)"
I definitely appreciate his stuff: "I used to be Irish Catholic, now I'm an American"

jspangs said:

It would be unfair to send them private to go to public, setting them back in every social aspect of school.

Click to expand...

There is nothing even remotely unfair about that. Go private K-8 and make the most of the opportunities currently available to you and yours. Best of luck, jspangs.

Scotland said:

There is nothing even remotely unfair about that. Go private K-8 and make the most of the opportunities currently available to you and yours. Best of luck, jspangs.

Click to expand...

Kids are resilient (if raised that way), so when the local schools change to middle school or HS your kids will be in the same boat as most other kids - all of them are new to the school.

I went to a public school from K-8, but went to a private high school when my school district threatened to merge 2 of the 3 high schools in my district. I'll admit it was very eye opening as the school mainly consisted of kids from affluent families and a very different atmosphere from where I came from. Alot of politics both in the classroom and in athletics at the school, that I think prepared me for the real world.

I honestly wanted to transfer back after my sophomore year, ended up staying and was introduced to my future college choice. It was there that I met a group of friends that I consider brothers and have kept in touch with for the last 20 years. So private school wasn't perfect for me, but it brought me to where I am today and I wouldn't change a thing.

My missus was adamant she didn't want our kids going through the public school system. We have our eldest in a charter school and our youngest will follow. We do make donations and put in some hours helping with various stuff. I didn't go to school over here, so I don't have much reference, but the school my eldest goes to certainly ain't like any school I've been to before. Smaller classes, teachers are much closer to the kids and the whole vibe makes kids actually want to go to school.

I was homeschooled. Worked out pretty well for me.

tequila4kapp said:

Another thought...you may see curriculum differences relative to Common Core. I don't literally know for sure, but I was just thinking about how I hear my neighbors who have their kids at the public school comment about the craziness of CC. It occurs to me that we don't experience the same thing. This could vary by region/diocese, you should probably check.

Click to expand...

This is something that is common in many areas. I have several teachers/retired teachers or guidance counselor,in my family and they all despise common core, one teacher retired because if CC his wife who was guidance counselor retired the following year because the kids weren't learning anything and her job became way more stressful,that she wanted to deal with. The current teacher likes the concepts of common core but not the politics and the restrictions places on her.

I teach in a small public school, and I'll echo all the remarks in support of finding the best teachers . A good teacher, even teaching around common core, is better than a bad teacher with private curriculum. The teachers are the ones actually interacting with your kids, go where the best ones are.

I don't have much experience with private schools, but I can say that working at a small school the past few years (coming from a large school) was really eye opening. A lot of good research points to teacher/student ratios, and these small schools generate a lot of success with that model. I was kinda prejudiced against small schools coming into this, but I have to say don't overlook them.

These are of course general comparisons, there are exceptions.

PRIVATE SCHOOL PROS: Better education, morals, transparency, choices, accountability, more open to parent input
PRIVATE SCHOOL CONS: Cost, (sometimes) commute

My own experience is that the public schools absolutely refused to provide any results on their standardized test performance, conduct standards, and very little information on curriculum. We did have one bad experience at a private school in that they said they were going to do one thing and did something else. They did this knowing full well what they said and that doing what they did flew in the face of many parent's concerns, and what many parents wanted and expected. But again, with private schools you have choices and we chose to move our children to a different private school and had a great experience there.

I live in an area where public schools are almost all below the national average in academic performance and with significant issues in the areas of morals and safety. Yet, the vast majority of parents with students at these public schools will tell you their school is the exception to all the others without any objective evidence to back that up. Public or private, I would advise you to be careful of hanging your hat on what other parents say about specific schools in your area. Probe to see if there is anything but wishful thinking behind their statements.

Lots of good comments about the area, the school districts, costs, etc. already.

I come from a family filled with teachers - my wife, her sister, my brother, 3 of my uncles are all currently teaching, my mother just retired from teaching... I'm one of the few who didn't go into teaching. So all I'll say is this: all of my family members who taught in private or charter have all gone back to public, for a number of issues. Mostly due to curriculum and quality of leadership (or lack thereof). Both of my kids are in public school, and private was never a consideration for us, but that's because we live in a town that has a very strong school system AND PTO, which I feel is very important when it comes to how the school system is supported by the community.

My kids are heavily involved in sports and the arts, which they would not be getting if they were in any of the private schools in our area. Again, I can only speak for what's around us, other school districts and various other parts of the country will be different and have their own pros and cons.

I didn't really get a chance to elaborate, but I was home schooled, which I think is a valid alternative to public or private schools, provided you're able to do it (specifically, a two-parent, single-income home, which I understand is getting less and less common.) There's no commute, curriculum can be customized for each child based on their skills and focuses, hours are flexible, you can vacation during the off-season, social interaction such as with other homeschool groups in your area, will usually be over a wider age range (the homeschool youth group I was part of growing up ranged in ages from 11 year olds to people who would visit from college), which I think is hugely missed in conventional schools where everyone is within a couple years of age. Depending on the state, Tebow laws can allow for the children to play sports or participate in extracurriculars through the school. Also...freedom from SOLs, and the ability to teach them the stuff you feel is important according to your religious/cultural beliefs.

Homeschooling has come a long way since I finished school, and un-schooling is another alternative, which is basically what I did, though there wasn't really a term for it at the time. Much of homeschooling's viability depends on the child, but I think in a lot of cases the child can be a product of their environment. Treat a child like a self-starter, and they tend to turn into self-starters. Treat them like automatons, and lo and behold, they act like automatons.

I think it 100% is based on the school district for me. Where I grew up, everyone went public because the school systems were really good and sports were all centered around the outlying suburban public schools. Private schools were an anomaly where I grew up, but now in Cleveland where I am now, the area seems to have a LOT of private schools and a lot of the big sports programs here are private schools as well.

To me, if the public school option where you live is good, it's public school without question. Private schools (strictly IMO) are a waste of money unless the public schools are bad or you have potential to make something out of sports college wise and public doesn't offer a good avenue for recruitment. All high school is, is something to prepare for college. Not sure how a private school does anything worth the money unless the public option is just plain bad.

I want to put this out there, because there is a lot of "when I was in school" going on. If basing off the way things WERE, then I'd say wholeheartedly go the Public route, that said, none of us (maybe one or two INSANELY young exceptions here on THP) went through what the system is NOW. Common Core is the f****** devil and is killing our education system, KILLING IT, and going private will allow much of that nonsense to be negated.

Being a teacher in a private school for 13 years and my wife teaching for 20+ years in private and public for approx 10, I would honestly say the answer is determined by the quality of the private school or public school system.
That requires research, honest conversations with people who know both schools AND personal visits.
Since you have two weeks to decide, I would say go the public school route and do lots of reading time at home while in kindergarten.
Over the next year I would do tons of research on both schools and save some funds in year 1 through the public school system.
Merely being a private school does not make it better nor a public school worse.
Also, different students have different needs and thrive in the best system for them.
Before committing to a private school I would spend a lot of time there, ask for a tour or tours, talk with administrators at various levels and the teachers, follow them online, attend functions etc. and speak with many parents from both schools.
With the cost of college being through the roof and having a few kids to educate, take your time and do some serious research.
If I can help in any way possible, please let me know.

Went to public school up til middle school, then from there on private catholic schools.
I think it really depends on the quality of the public school, if it is a top notch district I don't really see the need to pull your kids out of it. I will say that I met some of my lifelong friend's in MS/HS by going to private schools. I honestly don't see or talk with anyone I met from my public school days. However I truly believe how a child will develop is more so on the home environment/parents.

Jman said:

I want to put this out there, because there is a lot of "when I was in school" going on. If basing off the way things WERE, then I'd say wholeheartedly go the Public route, that said, none of us (maybe one or two INSANELY young exceptions here on THP) went through what the system is NOW. Common Core is the f****** devil and is killing our education system, KILLING IT, and going private will allow much of that nonsense to be negated.

Click to expand...

It's interesting that you say that. The only private school in our area still has to follow the Common Core curriculum. I wonder if that is a NY thing, or the school's decision.

jt2929 said:

It's interesting that you say that. The only private school in our area still has to follow the Common Core curriculum. I wonder if that is a NY thing, or the school's decision.

Click to expand...

Private school or charter school? If it receives federal/state funds it has to abide by CC to my understanding. Though some private schools may choose to implement it anyways.

This is a pretty good article: https://www.hslda.org/commoncore/topic7.aspx

Jman said:

Private school or charter school? If it receives federal/state funds it has to abide by CC to my understanding. Though some private schools may choose to implement it anyways.

This is a pretty good article: https://www.hslda.org/commoncore/topic7.aspx

Click to expand...

It is a private Catholic school. I have not looked into funding other than tuition (which is surprisingly less than I pay for daycare!). Thanks for the article, I'll give it a read.