Confronting Your Buddy About His "Improvements"

So we have a small guys trip planned to the Austin area in a couple of weeks with a group of guys from college. One of our regular playing partners claims an 11 for a handicap (via TheGrint, low attest rate). Typically we just let him play his game and then just wonder how or why he claims the scores he does. For instance when we played Karsten Creek last month, he claimed to score a 103, when the rest of the group had him down for a 119. The only reason its frustrating is because I shot a 118 (I am a 29 Handicap) with some blow up holes, and he's been going around bragging and telling people that he shot the best round out of the group at a very difficult course. I am the high handicap, the other guys in my group are 9-12.

We have come to a crossroads as there will most likely be "bragging rights" of some kinds up for grabs on this trip, but its hard to feel sure about it when you know one in the group is capable of shaving that many strokes off their scorecard. And it's way too frustrating to have to nanny someone through their whole round when we are playing 2 rounds a day. Has anyone else had any success on lining out some ethics in a person without making them feel alienated? We had discussed making some local rules (lots of forced carries, keeping pace of play, etc) for the round and outlining any broad issues there so that it's an umbrella approach to the situation, but don't know if this will have any success.

Anyone else have good tips on how to bring up the subject without completing ruining a friendship?

No offense to you or your buddy, but if he want to brag to people about a 103, let him run his mouth to whomever will listen; I can’t imagine there are many. You should just go out and play and have fun.

Have each person keep a scorecard for someone else. Gently ask about scores as they are reported one hole at a time.

Yeah, if the other two from your group are aligned in your thinking, then let him blow off his hot air to whoever wants to listen.

Are you saying it actually scored 119 (or whatever...118??) or that he didn't count penalty strokes that would have had him at the higher score if he'd scored right?

If he actually scored it as the higher and is just embellishing later, I'd call him out. If he just didn't score some strokes (penalty, duffs, whiffs, shanks, or otherwise) that he should have, then I'd politely make sure he understood he's playing a different game than you and then leave it at that. If, after your polite clarification, he brags publicly about beating you, having the best score of the group, etc., then I'd call him out publicly. Leave it for him to fall on his sword, though, and try to take the high road.

I stopped playing with a buddy for this reason lol. I couldn't take it anymore, 2 shots go OB yet he somehow par's the hole while I had a legit bogey, frustrating. I'd go the route of having someone else the designated scorer who could remember to keep score lol

Just have someone in the group (not him) keep score for everybody, and call them out as you walk off the green. If he says "4" when you all know it was "6" then call him on it right then and there and let him know you gave him a 6.

Keep him honest hole to hole. Don’t wait until the end to see the total


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Don't know what to tell you, except relate a story that will indicate it will catch up with him.

3 of us started playing about the same time. we did do overs for a while and mulligans because of high scores. With improvement(around shooting low 90's) we started playing MORE by the rules. One of us didn't and he'd brag about beating us. Well come tournament time, he was in second flight and we were in 3rd flight. Never heard such crying. We were competitive and he wasn't. Of course, second and third flight were nothing to write home about, but hey, you got to learn somehow.

make him putt everything out

aklawitter said:

make him putt everything out

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This has already been established for the weekend, and I can only imagine this will be frustrating enough :laugh:

azrsx said:

I stopped playing with a buddy for this reason lol. I couldn't take it anymore, 2 shots go OB yet he somehow par's the hole while I had a legit bogey, frustrating. I'd go the route of having someone else the designated scorer who could remember to keep score lol

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Yes, yes exactly :laugh:

OGputtnfool said:

Are you saying it actually scored 119 (or whatever...118??) or that he didn't count penalty strokes that would have had him at the higher score if he'd scored right?

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He claimed a 103 from the end because from my best estimation he never counted an actual penalty. Couple of times he would fly out into the trees and then would drop in some more forgiving rough.

Again we aren't grinding it out on tour here so calling him out in the moment is only going to make it a very unpleasant round. But when he goes around claiming things later to people we don't typically play with, that is why it's frustrating. Obviously it would be very easy to call him out, but more worried about losing a friendship overall. It's something we've just come to let roll off our back, but we don't usually play for anything on the line, and this time there will be.

tequila4kapp said:

Have each person keep a scorecard for someone else. Gently ask about scores as they are reported one hole at a time.

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Probably the best advice to handling that situation and yet so simple, don't know why we never thought of this. Thanks!

JayB said:

No offense to you or your buddy, but if he want to brag to people about a 103, let him run his mouth to whomever will listen; I can’t imagine there are many. You should just go out and play and have fun.

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A 103 at Karsten is a bit different than a 103 at a typical Muni around here, so while yes I understand bragging about a 103 is an odd thing there is a tiny bit of relevance behind it for someone who never plays a championship course of that caliber. Probably the most penal course I will ever play in my life with rough as thick/tall as it is there and no OB pretty much.