Demoralized on the course

Just go out and have fun and the rest will fall in to place. It's so easy for us to get really frustrated with our games, I've gone through it a couple of times this season. Once I took a little break and came back with fun in mind I started playing much better. Not many of us are good enough to get so mad at a silly game!
 
I couldn't agree more, my emotions got in the way of my brain yesterday

In the other scenario, bogey is out the window without a PGA-tour level recovery shot. Double is highly likely and triple or worse is in play.

and on this, unless you're the US Ryder Cup team last week lol
 
Pardon the rant, but my golf game is killing me. I’ve been lucky enough to get back to regular lessons and play a ton of golf lately. I’ve also been added to a few random groups when going out which is awesome because meeting new people on the course is always fun. This is where it goes sideways...

I’ve been grinding on the range and course as much as possible, trying to put together a solid swing and game. Everyone ive been paired up with seem to have the most horrible swings I’ve seen in a long time, yet they are managing to drive it 265 dead straight and par and birdie just about every hole. I’m not saying horrible swing as in its just an unorthodox movement, I’m talking it makes Barkley look like a seasoned pro. Here I am killing myself to get it done right and these people just whack and slash at the ball and the flight and aim is perfect. SO DAMN DEMORALIZING that I can’t even break 90 with all the work I’m putting in...

ok rant over, i feel better now.
Haha....demoralizing, deflating, frustrating, unfair, unrewarding, etc...etc..etc.. keep going
Some people are just lucky they are able to play this game with more consistency than others. Your story sounds like mine except only a peice of mine. Im playing for decades. And in the last 5 years have had many lessons. In the last year or so Ive rebuilt evrything from the ground up via many lessons again. pracfice everything I been taught, practice with a purpose, put in the time , money and efforts that I am able to do and so much more than so many people i know. And my reward? is to watch them along side me regularly shoot an 86 or an 83 or whatever while I struggle to break 90 most rounds.

You just have to be lucky that the game happens to come easier. Ive exhausted all the advice excuses in the book like not playing or practicing enough, keeping positive, good shot decisions and game manging, get better at short game, dont let the last shot/hole get to you, practice with purpose, visuliz ethe shot, on and on and on I probably forgot than many people know.

You do all you can whenever you can and still you dont see the reward. have friends (or plenty people you know) who dont put in haf what you do and yet they are always a few to several strokes better regularly. Its deflating and all we can dop is keep trying. I know what to do, how to do it and can do it. But just cant do it enough shots and holes in a row to score better more consistenty. You just have to be lucky. One of the luckier ones enough where as the game just works more consistently for you. For some of us its a life long battle to get the same place as others are even though they may not even do half the work you do. They are just lucky. Lucky that they can produce a lot less failures round to round than me. Ive just come to terms with this. I dont like it and I keep working at it but it just is what it is. I hope maybe one day I will somehow find it and just maybe you will find it soonee than me and then you will be one the lucky ones..lol
 
just a thought, but next time out try playing golf instead of golf swing. just think about the way you want the ball to move through the air (draws, fades, high, low), and try to do that instead of making the perfect swing every time. take a little less club and hit a softy into one green. then club down and hit it hard the next time. have fun trying to hit bubba shots, but don't worry if you don't pull it off. and don't even keep score, just have fun.

+1. Golf instead of golf swing

and as mentioned, course management. Thats helped me lose a few strokes. I keep track of shots which cause blow up holes.

Often its trying to hit the ball as far as I can , each shot. Instead I've started breaking the yardage into different clubs and the blow up holes are reducing in number
 
Haha....demoralizing, deflating, frustrating, unfair, unrewarding, etc...etc..etc.. keep going
Some people are just lucky they are able to play this game with more consistency than others.

This actually made me laugh out loud because it’s so true.

I’m back on the horse now. Made a small tweak with my wrist hinge this week and am popping balls off the face now. Amazing how one small move can add 5 yards but more importantly a consistent strike.

GRIND ON - GAME ON!!!
 
IMO, lessons and lots of range sessions will ruin the fun of golf quickly for an amateur. Playing golf well does not involve perfect golf shots it involves getting the ball in the hole. Taking lessons and hitting range balls involves trying to make perfect full swing golf shots. Those are fine, but literally only 1/2 your shots on the course will fall in this bucket and if you cant do the pitches, chips, punches, knock downs, and putts well enough to score then you're going to be so frustrated that the full swings won't work either.
 
As the old addage goes "golf is like a fart, if you have to force it, it's probably crap"

But in all seriousness, maybe the lessons and pressure you're putting on yourself are making it worse, especially if per say, you are trying to create a certain swing just that doesn't translate from lesson to course.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
 
I agree that it can be overkill for most, but for me I was a batting cage rat for the better half of 10 years when I was playing baseball. It’s wired inside me to grind on the range, so I do. I actually enjoy hitting until the proverbial bleeding hands.
 
IMO, lessons and lots of range sessions will ruin the fun of golf quickly for an amateur. Playing golf well does not involve perfect golf shots it involves getting the ball in the hole. Taking lessons and hitting range balls involves trying to make perfect full swing golf shots. Those are fine, but literally only 1/2 your shots on the course will fall in this bucket and if you cant do the pitches, chips, punches, knock downs, and putts well enough to score then you're going to be so frustrated that the full swings won't work either.

but those half worth of the shots cant turn into double the amount because of lack of ability because they count too. The math needs to work from everywhere. You have to have some decent and consistent ball striking in order to play the game well enough too.
 
Haha....demoralizing, deflating, frustrating, unfair, unrewarding, etc...etc..etc.. keep going
Some people are just lucky they are able to play this game with more consistency than others. Your story sounds like mine except only a peice of mine. Im playing for decades. And in the last 5 years have had many lessons. In the last year or so Ive rebuilt evrything from the ground up via many lessons again. pracfice everything I been taught, practice with a purpose, put in the time , money and efforts that I am able to do and so much more than so many people i know. And my reward? is to watch them along side me regularly shoot an 86 or an 83 or whatever while I struggle to break 90 most rounds.

You just have to be lucky that the game happens to come easier. Ive exhausted all the advice excuses in the book like not playing or practicing enough, keeping positive, good shot decisions and game manging, get better at short game, dont let the last shot/hole get to you, practice with purpose, visuliz ethe shot, on and on and on I probably forgot than many people know.

You do all you can whenever you can and still you dont see the reward. have friends (or plenty people you know) who dont put in haf what you do and yet they are always a few to several strokes better regularly. Its deflating and all we can dop is keep trying. I know what to do, how to do it and can do it. But just cant do it enough shots and holes in a row to score better more consistenty. You just have to be lucky. One of the luckier ones enough where as the game just works more consistently for you. For some of us its a life long battle to get the same place as others are even though they may not even do half the work you do. They are just lucky. Lucky that they can produce a lot less failures round to round than me. Ive just come to terms with this. I dont like it and I keep working at it but it just is what it is. I hope maybe one day I will somehow find it and just maybe you will find it soonee than me and then you will be one the lucky ones..lol

Rollin,

I really, really wish I lived near you.

Golf doesn't have to be that hard. You do not have to take dozens of lessons and do hundreds of thousands of reps to play respectable golf. Some people do and are able to improve via that route. However, I've found that route doesn't work for me. I never have the "Aha" moment where I realize what the instructor is trying to get me to feel. Instead, I get more and more mechanical.

You and NullNomad sound like you're in the perfect position to give non-conventional instruction a serious try. I prefer Shawn Clement, but there are 5 or 6 others out there too. Non-conventional instruction is about giving your brain a task, getting out of the way and letting your body respond. Rather than "how perfectly can I hit 7 different positions during this swing" golf becomes, "how much can I give up control and just trust during this swing." It's EXTREMELY liberating. When I hit a poor shot, it may be because I got steep, or I got quick, or my takeaway was too inside or any of 1,000 other technical flaws. However, I don't give a rip about any of that. The only thing I'm trying to do better on my next shot is my focus and trust. If I improve that, my body will respond.

While most people who learned via conventional methods don't believe it, it IS possible to make positive swing changes simply by focusing on the right task. Focusing on the right task such as throwing the club will improve your path, your weight shift and your release. It has to. If you have the club behind you, are stuck on your back foot and are trying to hit the ball, you cannot throw a golf club from there. You'll throw it straight into the ground. But if you change your focus to throwing a club to a target "out there" - your body will respond with a more correct path, a beautiful weight shift and excellent release.

Don't misunderstand me. You won't go from shooting 100 to shooting 80 overnight. But you can get yourself to where you're shooting in the 80s more often than not. The difference is that progress is not determined by 6-18 months of reps on a driving range while you shank balls and feel nothing like you're making a golf swing. The difference is your progress is defined by how much you sharpen your focus, and how much you give up control and just trust your body to respond. It's an awesome feeling to know I'm not defective and it has been so much fun to discover athletic ability I never knew I had despite 40+ years of golf lessons and lots of hard work that never got me anywhere. I am in no way saying my swing is a thing of beauty, that I've "solved golf," or am even a great golfer. But I think I have become a respectable golfer after struggling to break 90 for most of my life. The more important thing is, I'm having fun. Every time I go out on the course it's with joy knowing I'm going to hit a lot of great shots and I have a blast seeing just how much I let it happen.

Also, for the skeptical out there, note that I am not saying the simply using non-conventional instruction will turn you into a scratch golfer or even low single-digits. To get to that level, you have to do a lot of things well in your golf swing and most of us will continue to have certain flaws even if we make dramatic improvement. To get rid of those final flaws which prevent us from becoming really good golfers, it usually does require the trained eye of a pro. That pro could certainly be Shawn Clement via video lesson or a clinic nearby, but the point is, to get to a really high level is likely going take someone identifying the things you can't see on your own.

Anyhow, give it a try. It doesn't happen overnight. You may have watched some videos in the past, but it's not easy to get yourself REALLY trust it. It took me quite a while to get over the desire to be in control and to actually do what was being taught. For a long time I thought I was doing it, but I never was. When I finally said "screw it," gave up trying to control and just started to trust my focus and task, that's when the breakthrough really occurred.

 
Rollin,

I really, really wish I lived near you.

Golf doesn't have to be that hard. You do not have to take dozens of lessons and do hundreds of thousands of reps to play respectable golf. Some people do and are able to improve via that route. However, I've found that route doesn't work for me. I never have the "Aha" moment where I realize what the instructor is trying to get me to feel. Instead, I get more and more mechanical.

You and NullNomad sound like you're in the perfect position to give non-conventional instruction a serious try. I prefer Shawn Clement, but there are 5 or 6 others out there too. Non-conventional instruction is about giving your brain a task, getting out of the way and letting your body respond. Rather than "how perfectly can I hit 7 different positions during this swing" golf becomes, "how much can I give up control and just trust during this swing." It's EXTREMELY liberating. When I hit a poor shot, it may be because I got steep, or I got quick, or my takeaway was too inside or any of 1,000 other technical flaws. However, I don't give a rip about any of that. The only thing I'm trying to do better on my next shot is my focus and trust. If I improve that, my body will respond.

While most people who learned via conventional methods don't believe it, it IS possible to make positive swing changes simply by focusing on the right task. Focusing on the right task such as throwing the club will improve your path, your weight shift and your release. It has to. If you have the club behind you, are stuck on your back foot and are trying to hit the ball, you cannot throw a golf club from there. You'll throw it straight into the ground. But if you change your focus to throwing a club to a target "out there" - your body will respond with a more correct path, a beautiful weight shift and excellent release.

Don't misunderstand me. You won't go from shooting 100 to shooting 80 overnight. But you can get yourself to where you're shooting in the 80s more often than not. The difference is that progress is not determined by 6-18 months of reps on a driving range while you shank balls and feel nothing like you're making a golf swing. The difference is your progress is defined by how much you sharpen your focus, and how much you give up control and just trust your body to respond. It's an awesome feeling to know I'm not defective and it has been so much fun to discover athletic ability I never knew I had despite 40+ years of golf lessons and lots of hard work that never got me anywhere. I am in no way saying my swing is a thing of beauty, that I've "solved golf," or am even a great golfer. But I think I have become a respectable golfer after struggling to break 90 for most of my life. The more important thing is, I'm having fun. Every time I go out on the course it's with joy knowing I'm going to hit a lot of great shots and I have a blast seeing just how much I let it happen.

Also, for the skeptical out there, note that I am not saying the simply using non-conventional instruction will turn you into a scratch golfer or even low single-digits. To get to that level, you have to do a lot of things well in your golf swing and most of us will continue to have certain flaws even if we make dramatic improvement. To get rid of those final flaws which prevent us from becoming really good golfers, it usually does require the trained eye of a pro. That pro could certainly be Shawn Clement via video lesson or a clinic nearby, but the point is, to get to a really high level is likely going take someone identifying the things you can't see on your own.

Anyhow, give it a try. It doesn't happen overnight. You may have watched some videos in the past, but it's not easy to get yourself REALLY trust it. It took me quite a while to get over the desire to be in control and to actually do what was being taught. For a long time I thought I was doing it, but I never was. When I finally said "screw it," gave up trying to control and just started to trust my focus and task, that's when the breakthrough really occurred.



Thank you wades. I appreciate the genuine conern to help. Fwiw on another note i also think many your posts on the forum are of an open mind when many others fail to do that and you normally seem mostly fair and logical. Just thought to throw that coompliment out to you. But back to the topic. I beleive i can grasp what your suggesting. Honestly , my instructor actually does preech some of what you mention beleive it or not. As Ive often mentioned in many psosts on the forum I have triesd and exhausted most all the xcuses out there and I do give what you speak of a hearty try as well. And like most things, it too just doesnt seem to get it done on any consistant basis either.

Just for discussion. The other day i go out and play. I begin with a bogey and 3 pars on the first 4 holes. Feeling just swell, not expecting much but just playing along cruising and lokking ofrwrad to the next play. The I get to hole 5 with nothing on my mind but to simply just make a play towards the hole (a par3). What happens? out of nowhere and after 4 well played holes of golf I slap one to the far right and into fescue (most likely lost ball). No biggie , no anger, no mecanical thinking, no nothing but just is what it is. And so I tee up a provisional. Just looking to take a shot again. And this time I send it into water. Just like that I had to take a 7 on the hole. I move to the next tee (a par4) and squibble one 50 yrs up. All a sudden i cant hit a ball. No reason, nothing happened, no mindset games, no nothing as i am numb to it all. And so I just go and look to make the second shot on this hole. I hit a beautiful recovery shot near green and then get up/down to end up par for the hole. Next hole i slice a 3w into the wilderness from the tee. I end up bogey the hole with second ball but of course its a triple. So now i have one (technically unfnished) triple hole and now another triple. Now I go and par the next hole. Then i get to 9 and again lost ball off the tee and naother bogey becomes a triple again. So Im at 4 pars, making good plays but combines with an inability to hit some shots. unfortunately its a plus 10 on the front which holds 4 pars for me. No rhyme or reason, not in any row of consecutive bad vs consecutive good but just a failure to execute the dedent enough shots enough times in a row.

back 9 I begin 10 beauti drive middle fairway and far. get to my approach, nothing of concern, just play the game right? I chunk it, then hit another from a but closer in and blade that one and it goes over green and into tall, thick fescue whch takes 2 for me to get out. Then on and one putt for a quad. I par 12 and 13. This is my round. 7 or was it 8 pars and stll I shoot in the 90's. Just simply randomly fail to execute dedently enough times in a row.

So today i play and similarly play well and then at any given time fail at a shotand it just happens too many times. not necesarily inchincks but just at random. Now fwiw today wasnt actualy as bad or as many poorer shots but all of a sudden my putting which is usually pretty reliable takes a vacation and I 3 putted 6 times and missed a few one putt ops that i normally can make some of. So I lost probably 8 stroke putting today and scored a 93. So my ball striking wasnt as bad as often as the last round but always something somewhere to fail at in eacg round. had my share of pars today as well and a bird too. But as usual just enough poor plays mixed with what was today a less than average putting day and once again im over 90. No anger, no searching for the perfect swing. But just simply playing the game. Just the ideology to move towarsd the green and the hole and made alot of good plays today but still failed at some or something else always just enough.

Im numb to most anythign at this point. often I just dont even care anymore (at least while im playing). It bothr me now and Im not saying i dont get deflated. But while attempting to take shots I really just go and hit the ball. The only thing I even give any thought to is tempo during my practice swing. othe than that I just try to let it happen. Unfortunately while it does happen alot it just fails to happen a bit too many times. And no reason but just a lack of consitency in between what is pretty ok golf otherwise that consists of a lot of goof plays.

So imo in my kind I feel I really have given most evrything there is an honest try. But im open still for anything. Whatever it is ok I am game to try. I expect nothing great, just play one shot at a time snd let the card fall where they may. All i can do is keep moving forward.
 
Last edited:
You and NullNomad sound like you're in the perfect position to give non-conventional instruction a serious try. I prefer Shawn Clement, but there are 5 or 6 others out there too. Non-conventional instruction is about giving your brain a task, getting out of the way and letting your body respond. Rather than "how perfectly can I hit 7 different positions during this swing" golf becomes, "how much can I give up control and just trust during this swing." It's EXTREMELY liberating. When I hit a poor shot, it may be because I got steep, or I got quick, or my takeaway was too inside or any of 1,000 other technical flaws. However, I don't give a rip about any of that. The only thing I'm trying to do better on my next shot is my focus and trust. If I improve that, my body will respond.

Thanks for the comments and video! The timing in them both couldn’t be better. While I was on the range a couple of days ago I reverted back to an old batting drill for ball placement and height. Just to see what would happen. Quite similar to what the video talked about, I was able to put my body in the right position for my swing. I noticed right away from the ball flight that I could create a repeatable swing and ball flight even though conventional alignment would say that I were aiming off target. It also allowed me to strike the ball much better. I plan on taking this on course this afternoon. Either way, good or bad, I’m going to have fun!!!
 
So imo in my kind I feel I really have given most evrything there is an honest try. But im open still for anything. Whatever it is ok I am game to try. I expect nothing great, just play one shot at a time snd let the card fall where they may. All i can do is keep moving forward.

Rollin,

I hear you. I certainly have and do experience the "random terrible shot from nowhere." Hit a beautiful drive right down the center of the fairway, have 110 into the pin, licking your chops to perhaps make a birdie or an easy par and suddenly you pull your approach shot 30 yards left into the hazard. A few minutes later, you're walking off with a triple.

I think three main things can contribute:

1) Inconsistency in setup.

You have to setup correctly for the shot you want to hit. Really, I feel that 90% of what occurs in our golf swing happens at setup. As Shawn talks about in many of his videos, you have to ask yourself "Can I swing over that intermediate point from here?" (or as he says "Do I have access to the target?") and "Can I cut the grass from here?" or "Am I low enough to hit it flush?" If you can't answer those questions in the affirmative, you can't free yourself to let the swing go and your chances of hitting a good shot are not high.

Shawn's concept of making predictions about direction and contact took me quite a while to get. At first, it made no sense. Even if I predict it, there's no guarantee it's going to happen, so what's the point of predicting? But I've finally learned there is great value. If I can confirm that my setup matches the picture I have in my brain and I'm in a position to hit the shot I want, then that frees me up to allow the swing to happen. That doesn't mean it will always come off as predicted, but it increases the odds dramatically.

2) Lack of trust

You have to be able to trust the shot you're going to hit. As I say in other threads, "there is no making sure." You have to setup down the left side of the fairway for a cut, and then just allow the swing to happen with abandon. If you try to "make sure the ball doesn't go left" you're probably going to hit a poor shot.

This is especially evident in the short game. If you're trying to hit a shot which is particularly touchy, you can't just let the club fall with gravity through the ball and you're likely to chunk or blade it. This is why as higher-handicappers we need to ensure we choose shots we can trust. I had a shot like this last round. I had pulled my ball left of the green onto a little mound. So, I had to go over a little valley, land on the fringe, and then I had maybe 4 feet to the pin. In short, it was a PGA-Tour level of difficulty flop shot. I took a couple practice swings at a big flop, and then decided I couldn't trust myself enough. I squared the club face a bit more, took some swings I could trust and then let it happen. The ball landed by the pin and rolled out to 20 feet. I barely missed saving the par, but tapped in perfectly content with making bogey. Had I gone for the flop I couldn't trust, there's a 95% chance I would have made double or worse.

3) Loss of target focus

I had a round the other day where I was playing extremely well. Then I flared my drive on 8 and made double. I flared my drive on 9 and made double. I flared my drive on 10 but got away with it due to the width of the fairway. Then I pulled my approach and made double. On 11 I pulled my drive but got away with it. I pulled my approach and made double.

Finally, we had a short wait on 12 and I was thinking about what was going wrong. I resisted the urge to think about anything mechanical, and finally realized I had lost my target focus. I was no longer picking a specific target. I was simply thinking "something that direction." Or, "over there on the right side of the green."

I began focusing on specific targets again on 12 and made bogey. I made nothing worse than bogey for the rest of the round.

Finally, do remember that bad shots will happen on occasion no matter how good we get. You just have to accept it, move on and make sure the next shot puts you in a good position. I can't tell you the number of times I've taken the club back, thought something like "was I too inside on that takeaway?" known I should stop but didn't, and hit an awful shot. It only takes a minor loss of focus or trust to send what would have been a good shot awry.

P.S. Remember that course management does also come into play. If I have that 110 into the green, but there's water left, OB long and you'll be short-sided right, rather than pulling my 110 club to fire at the pin, which will also reach the water if I pull it or go OB long if I thin it, I may pull my 90 yard club and plan to miss short in front of the green. That way, if the random bad shot does occur, I'm still in position to make bogey rather than assuring a triple.
 
Last edited:
P.S. Rollin, thanks for the kind words.

I know some people may roll their eyes at me. Here I am talking emphatically about how to be a good golfer and I'm not even a sub-10 handicap.

I do so because I'm so excited and joyful about the progress I've made, and I want to share that with others and have them make the same breakthroughs. My outlook on golf has completely changed and I want the same for others. That's not to say that we'll be shooting in the 70s, particularly those of us who are majorly time-constrained. But if we can learn from each other how to have more joy on the golf course and get a little closer to our goals, we all benefit.
 
Back
Top