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Dealing with defeat

Kevin Coleman

Kevin Coleman

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I just finished a round of golf with a coworker and my brother in law who is my regular playing partner.

He and I played together just about every time we went out for probably two to three years... He was always a much higher handicapper than I was and so I always won any head to head rounds from a gross score perspective.

I think I just got used to this dynamic, but recently I have watched his game trend upward and his scores trend downward.

Today, I probably played one of the worst rounds of golf of my life... Every aspect of my game from the top down was helpless. I could not prevent myself from drawing every full shot I took (regardless of the club) and any shot <3/4, I hit fat. My putting was no better as I routinely knocked it past with no apparent feel for why I was doing any of these things. It was as if my game had left me overnight. Not to inflate my skills but only to illustrate my point; I felt like Patrick Ewing or Muggsy Bogues from Space Jam.

Admittedly, this loss is hard to swallow as he and I have always had a bit of a friendly sibling(-in-law) rivalry. That being said, I can't wrap my head around such a catastrophic loss of game.

Have any of you experienced this type of round? Further has anyone dealt with this type of dynamic, in which they lost to what has historically been an automatic W?

How do you deal with such a loss as both factors are weighing on me heavily at the moment...


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Thats golf. Unfortunately that happens from time to time. I'd just be happy for him because he probably got to go home and finally feel good about himself and his golf game.
 
Drink/Cry/Get over it/ win next time
 
Blame Danny and Lindsay?

It sounds like this was an out of the ordinary day for you. I'd chalk it up to that unless there was something specific that you could identify. If your BIL is getting better, maybe it's time to focus on your problem spots on the course and make them better.
 
Most of us have had those kinds of days. I'd just call it an aberration and forget about it. Ask yourself this question. If you have played your "normal" game, nothing special, would you have beat him? If so, chalk it up to a bad day and forget it. If not, get to work. :alien:
 
I've played with a co-worker a lot over the last year & a half. For the 1st year or so, he never beat me. Then he ditched his old Mizuno blades for the Z545s & got fit for a driver shaft & his game got way better almost instantly.

Since then I've only beaten him once & I had to shoot a personal best to do it.

I don't like losing, so of course it bothers me, but that's life.

I just have to keep working on my game.
 
It happens, and more than likely the next 19 of 20 times you will beat him. I shot 13 strokes better today than yesterday, those bad days happen every now and then. Think how your BIL may feel knowing that every time he plays with you he is probably going to lose, but he returns every time to play the game with you.
 
Had this happen a few years ago with my youngest brother. Had a day where I didn't play well and he had a few holes that were better than normal for him and he ended up winning gross score. He was excited about it and it was a tough pill to swallow, but it was and is still a fun dynamic between us and my other brother.

sounds like you had a bad day and he got you. There is always next time.
 
Dealing with defeat

Yeah, I have to assume that it was an aberration and that the next time out will be better... Painful in the moment though! Lol


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Probably needed to vent a bit too lol


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I get three very cold beers, figure out what I did wrong, and work on my errors on the range.

Golf is great because there's always a next time. I don't worry if I lose, because even the best do. What worries me is if I never win.
 
I never get too high when it is good, or too low when it is bad. Golf is day to day.
 
Just part of the game. Just makes me want to work harder to make sure it doesn't happen as often. Notice I didn't say never just less often. Golf can be a very humbling game!
 
It happens. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, get some work in, and go for the win next time out!
 
I hate losing, but defeat is just as much a part of sports as victory is. Use it as fuel and get him next time
 
Bad rounds happen. Sometimes they happen at a very bad time. Nothing you can do about it but to move forward knowing it was an anomaly. Forget about it and remember to enjoy the time spent with good friends
 
You're upset because you lost a friendly round of golf to a good friend? It happens to everyone.
 
Tadashi70 said:
You're upset because you lost a friendly round of golf to a good friend? It happens to everyone.
Click to expand...

I suppose this is true. I guess I must have some other things on my mind that I'm dealing with or something. This round was much harder to handle than it should have been.
 
2 years ago while on vacation in Hawaii, my wife beat me straight up in one of the rounds.
We don't ever compete against each other since I am a single digit hdcp and she is in the 20's.
But that day, I couldn't hit a shot to save my life and for her game, she couldn't miss.
I shot 93 from the tips and she shot a 90 from the forward tees where she normally plays from.
I didn't tell her the scores till after the round, but when I did, I thought she was going to break windows with the squeal she let out.

What did I do? Shook my head, shook her hand and gave her a hug and told her how proud I was of her.
Then we went back to our lanai and drank Mai Tai's till after the sun went down.

She tells that story as often as she can to those who haven't heard it, and I get a kick out of her telling it every time.
 
I shut a bad round out like that with the slam of the trunk and move on. Another day and we all know that the game of golf is fickle at more times than not.
 
Its only a game. A true catastrophic loss would be something to feel bad about. The good thing about golf is that you get to go out and compete again.
 
I don't know why I took this loss so much harder than any other it never affected me this way before but for whatever reason, this one got me more than most


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Sounds like there are two different issues going on.

First is that you played abnormally worse than normal. That's golf, it happens.

Second is that you lost to your brother-in-law. You haven't really had much of a rivalry until now, you've just been beating him. Congratulate him on the victory and take whatever ribbing he gives you with a smile. It sounds like he's been on the receiving end up until now.


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Yep I've had this exact thing happen. A couple times actually. A buddy who was previously crapola and an easy win improves significantly and all of a sudden if they have a good round and I sh** the bed, they can win.

Just gotta be happy for the guy, chalk it up to a bad day, drink an extra beer and move on. The game will return.

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