Ever wanted to give the game away?

chriso97

Mad Golfer
Joined
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Location
Perth, Western Australia
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I am close right now, it makes my cry just to think about it.

I played a Pro-Am yesterday, was three down with 3 to play and finished bogey (three putt) - wipe - bogey. To finish with 30 points. 34 won the day.

I just can't keep it together, am hitting the ball as well as ever, but my short game has desserted me. I'm standing over simple shots and my anxiety is just off the charts. I do the tough shots but then miss 4 foot putts. (I missed 2 greens badly from middle of fairway 100 out)

Being my lowest handicap ever (5) I just can't handle it and am putting myself under so much pressure.

Any suggestions on how to get the love back, before I quit for good.



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Get back to loving the game and not the results. Performance is always a threat to love.
 
Pressure is the key word there.

Same thing I tell my kids when they go through periods of struggle in matches or tournaments. You HAVE to find the fun in this game and always hold on to it. Otherwise, it WILL mentally eat you alive at some point.

If you’re playing to a 5, you’re a good golfer. Find the joy in that and some of the anxiety will start to fall away.
 
You are not counting on golf to pay your bills or put food on the table so try not to take it so hard. I know it gets frustrating at times but we are all going to have bad holes, play poorly during stretches, etc. I learned to have a very, very short-term memory and that helped a lot. Can't change what already happened so why dwell on it?
 
Go out and play for a while alone and leave the scorecard in the pro shop. I am serious. Just play to play. If you are struggling with a shot on the course and feeling anxious about it, hit that shot until you are getting the results you want. Don't worry about your score, handicap, etc. I do this whenever I feel like I am struggling. I just want to enjoy myself and why not build a little confidence while I am at it? Relax, have fun, forget about the pressure and build the skills and confidence. I am nowhere near as good a player as you but I want to be some day. Its a game though and I want to enjoy it and have it for a release from the everyday grind.
 
Pressure is the key word there.

Same thing I tell my kids when they go through periods of struggle in matches or tournaments. You HAVE to find the fun in this game and always hold on to it. Otherwise, it WILL mentally eat you alive at some point.

If you’re playing to a 5, you’re a good golfer. Find the joy in that and some of the anxiety will start to fall away.

This is a great post. Several years ago I took the game way too seriously and ended up giving it up for a year. It stopped being fun and there was no point in playing. Now I'm in it for fun. My handicap has gone the wrong direction, I'm not nearly as sharp as I once was and I may not be as competitive but I enjoy being out there so much more.
 
Yes and I am nowhere close to good.
Maybe take a break or go out and don't keep score and just try to hit shots.
I think sometimes we worry about the end result instead of enjoying the process.
 
There is a huge mental aspect to putting and short game shots. I would recommend reading Putting Out of Your Mind by Bob Rotella. Re-read it if you have already. Also, a series of putting lessons is something that far too many golfers have never done. Foolish when you consider at your index, putting is likely about 40% of your strokes. Also, remember that golf is hard. When you get down to a five index or better and want to improve, the improvement comes slowly, and everyone goes through slumps. This spring I'm playing more golf than I have in 25 years and my index has slipped a bit from where it's been the last five years. That is just the way golf is for all of us. I'm refocusing my short game efforts as yesterday I hit 14 GIR and shot four over. Zero for four on up and downs and zero birdies on the day with six chances inside of 10 feet including a three and four footer missed. Golf is frustrating, but if we didn't have slumps, we wouldn't appreciate the days when we are playing our best.
 
It sounds like you have come under the expectation that if you are good enough you should win. If you're good you will win your fair share, but you are always going to get beat. You're also going to hit bad shots, miss short putts, flub and skull chips, etc. It's part of golf. Understanding they will happen no matter how much you try to control things will lessen the pain when they do and help you move past the first mistake and not compound it into another one because you puckered up so much.
 
There is a huge mental aspect to putting and short game shots. I would recommend reading Putting Out of Your Mind by Bob Rotella. Re-read it if you have already. Also, a series of putting lessons is something that far too many golfers have never done. Foolish when you consider at your index, putting is likely about 40% of your strokes. Also, remember that golf is hard. When you get down to a five index or better and want to improve, the improvement comes slowly, and everyone goes through slumps. This spring I'm playing more golf than I have in 25 years and my index has slipped a bit from where it's been the last five years. That is just the way golf is for all of us. I'm refocusing my short game efforts as yesterday I hit 14 GIR and shot four over. Zero for four on up and downs and zero birdies on the day with six chances inside of 10 feet including a three and four footer missed. Golf is frustrating, but if we didn't have slumps, we wouldn't appreciate the days when we are playing our best.

The vast majority of this is just probability. At 10 feet a great average would be 35% or so (PGA Tour is 40%). If a golfer has 4 of them in a round the odds are as follows for how many they will make:

0/4 = 17.8%
1/4 = 38.4%
2/4 = 31.1%
3/4 = 11.1%
4/4 = 1.6%

Yet we are far more shocked by making 0/4 then we are by making 4/4 even though 0/4 would happen 11 times more often given this scenario.
 
The vast majority of this is just probability. At 10 feet a great average would be 35% or so (PGA Tour is 40%). If a golfer has 4 of them in a round the odds are as follows for how many they will make:

0/4 = 17.8%
1/4 = 38.4%
2/4 = 31.1%
3/4 = 11.1%
4/4 = 1.6%

Yet we are far more shocked by making 0/4 then we are by making 4/4 even though 0/4 would happen 11 times more often given this scenario.

I don’t set unreasonable expectations on the course. I wasn’t upset about missing the 8 and 10 footers as I know my odds of making those is well under 50%. It was the fact that I missed 3, 4, 4.5, and 6 footers for birdie all in the same birdie-less round. Three of those approach shots that finished inside of 6 feet were from beyond 140 yards with 10-15 mph winds so when I’m hitting my irons that good, it’s a bit frustrating when I can’t convert. I also had a chip that looked like it was going in hit the side of the flagstick and bounce out finishing less than a foot from the hole. It was just one of those days but I love any day of golf and was all smiles on every hole. I’ve had some very sub standard days this spring with the flat stick. Certainly several of my buddies who are 12-16 handicappers have a much better short game than I have so far this year. I know it’s temporary like my dozens of other slumps and I will get it figured out. The good news is my GIR average is above 13 and getting better, the putting will come around soon!
 
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Go out and play for a while alone and leave the scorecard in the pro shop. I am serious. Just play to play. If you are struggling with a shot on the course and feeling anxious about it, hit that shot until you are getting the results you want. Don't worry about your score, handicap, etc. I do this whenever I feel like I am struggling. I just want to enjoy myself and why not build a little confidence while I am at it? Relax, have fun, forget about the pressure and build the skills and confidence. I am nowhere near as good a player as you but I want to be some day. Its a game though and I want to enjoy it and have it for a release from the everyday grind.
Man this is a great idea ... Gonna get out there asap and just play !!!

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It sounds like you have come under the expectation that if you are good enough you should win. If you're good you will win your fair share, but you are always going to get beat. You're also going to hit bad shots, miss short putts, flub and skull chips, etc. It's part of golf. Understanding they will happen no matter how much you try to control things will lessen the pain when they do and help you move past the first mistake and not compound it into another one because you puckered up so much.

It's not winning, but I get this Soo much ..I have hit a wall where I expect to be better than I am (if that makes sense). I'm very results focused at the moment.

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For me my favorite thing is golfing good and my second favorite thing is golfing bad.
 
When I struggle with the game and having fun, I typically read my way out of it. “Be a Player” is a book about the mental aspect of golf I recently read to help me out of a slump. I will re-read Bob Rotella books or even some golf fiction. You are a better golfer than many on the planet; just take it easy and remember to have fun and the putts will start falling. Expectations of score and playing to what you think you should can really suck the game right out of you; I know because it is probably my biggest struggle with the game. If I had a hard copy of “Be a Player” I would send it to you!


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Pressure is the key word there.

Same thing I tell my kids when they go through periods of struggle in matches or tournaments. You HAVE to find the fun in this game and always hold on to it. Otherwise, it WILL mentally eat you alive at some point.

If you’re playing to a 5, you’re a good golfer. Find the joy in that and some of the anxiety will start to fall away.

This is a great post. Several years ago I took the game way too seriously and ended up giving it up for a year. It stopped being fun and there was no point in playing. Now I'm in it for fun. My handicap has gone the wrong direction, I'm not nearly as sharp as I once was and I may not be as competitive but I enjoy being out there so much more.

There's some really good stuff here, thanks guys. Not hijacking this thread but I'll say it's pertinent...
 
It's not winning, but I get this Soo much ..I have hit a wall where I expect to be better than I am (if that makes sense). I'm very results focused at the moment.

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Agonizing over the results doesn't seem to be making them better though right? Quitting golf surely isn't going to help. Saying you are results oriented is just a justification for how anxious and angry you are allowing yourself to become and you have already admitted that this isn't getting results and it's making you want to quit golf which certainly won't get you better results. So you are only results oriented in as much as it justifies you not changing your mental approach to the game. Changing your mental approach often involves looking at our whole self though, because I have found golf doesn't change our personality it usually amplifies it. So being more patient, moving on from disappointment, controlling anger and anxiety, these are all things that will make life better as well, but they are really hard to change and take way more work than improving our golf swing does, but they can make life and golf much more rewarding endaevors.Good luck to you!!

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I don’t set unreasonable expectations on the course. I wasn’t upset about missing the 8 and 10 footers as I know my odds of making those is well under 50%. It was the fact that I missed 3, 4, 4.5, and 6 footers for birdie all in the same birdie-less round. Three of those approach shots that finished inside of 6 feet were from beyond 140 yards with 10-15 mph winds so when I’m hitting my irons that good, it’s a bit frustrating when I can’t convert. I also had a chip that looked like it was going in hit the side of the flagstick and bounce out finishing less than a foot from the hole. It was just one of those days but I love any day of golf and was all smiles on every hole. I’ve had some very sub standard days this spring with the flat stick. Certainly several of my buddies who are 12-16 handicappers have a much better short game than I have so far this year. I know it’s temporary like my dozens of other slumps and I will get it figured out. The good news is my GIR average is above 13 and getting better, the putting will come around soon!
I didn't mean you, just golfers in general. Yeah I agree missing several 3 or 4 footers is disappointing. You do it much less than I do I bet though LOL!

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Agonizing over the results doesn't seem to be making them better though right? Quitting golf surely isn't going to help. Saying you are results oriented is just a justification for how anxious and angry you are allowing yourself to become and you have already admitted that this isn't getting results and it's making you want to quit golf which certainly won't get you better results. So you are only results oriented in as much as it justifies you not changing your mental approach to the game. Changing your mental approach often involves looking at our whole self though, because I have found golf doesn't change our personality it usually amplifies it. So being more patient, moving on from disappointment, controlling anger and anxiety, these are all things that will make life better as well, but they are really hard to change and take way more work than improving our golf swing does, but they can make life and golf much more rewarding endaevors.Good luck to you!!

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Thanks dude.

This makes perfect sense to me, and you are spot on. I gotta learn to relax and be less angry/anxious EVERYWHERE.

I've been through lots, but keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.

So much to learn ...



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Ever wanted to give the game away?

For me, the golf swing is art. I don’t think about mechanics, body positions or any other technical mumbo-jumbo that you read in golf magazines. I think about being 12 years old again and having contests with my buddies where we would try and land the ball in a specific spot. “ Hit it over that bunker and make it roll toward that middle tree”. We would keep track of shot outcomes....not the score. I never look back on a round and think, “Boy, that par on #16 was awesome”. I only think about the feeling of ripping that drive that gently faded around the fairway dogleg just like I wanted it to. Or the 9 iron that bounced into the false front and popped up onto the green and rolled 25 feet....just like I wanted it to. I still do this 45 years later and my enjoyment of the game never wanes. Golf is a game about where the ball lands (and it eventually needs to land in the hole). The score is just the way we determine who was best at making it land where it should.
 
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For me, the golf swing is art. I don’t think about mechanics, body positions or any other technical mumbo-jumbo that you read in golf magazines. I think about being 12 years old again and having contests with my buddies where we would try and land the ball in a specific spot. “ Hit it over that bunker and make it roll toward that middle tree”. We would keep track of shot outcomes....not the score. I never look back on a round and think, “Boy, that par on #16 was awesome”. I only think about the feeling of ripping that drive that gently faded around the fairway dogleg just like I wanted it to. Or the 9 iron that bounced into the false front and popped up onto the green and rolled 25 feet....just like I wanted it to. I still do this 45 years later and my enjoyment of the game never wanes. Golf is a game about where the ball lands (and it eventually needs to land in the hole). The score is just the way we determine who was best at making it land where it should.
I love this so much, thanks !!!

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Remember first and foremost, golf is a game for relaxation and exercise. The only reason I keep score is that the rest of my buddies want to know who wins, I don't care. I know I am going to screw up (a lot) and will never be close to single digit handicap like you. But that is not the point. You go out and try your best, and if that isn't good enough, there is always another day. Never let it get to you, a lot of people can't play the game at all, so feel good that you can. [climbing off of soap box]
 
Over the years I've struggled with the mental issues in the game... beat myself up, etc. But I'm constantly reminding myself, it's just a game man!
 
I have taken a few days and I'm still not quite over it, but getting there.

I think golf exaggerates anything else going on ... And I'm kids stressed at the moment.

Got my standard comp game tomorrow, but I have my son's tournament on Saturday and then just going to get out on the course by myself Sunday arvo !!! Sooo looking forward to just playing for fun !!!

Thanks for the messages guys, it helps.

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I'm a little late to this party. I'm not going to hit on what everyone else already touched on, mental books, fun, etc. They are important, and fun has always been the most important factor for me.

I am going to throw else out there. When I gear up for competitive play, I'm spending 90% of that time on short game. But going out and beating balls around a putting green and throwing down 20 balls and hitting pitches into a green does nothing for me. Those do nothing to teach pressure.

The simplest drill I use to get used to pressure is a simple up and down drill. Stand on a green, start throwing balls all over. From chips to 50 yard pitches. Just scatter them all over the place. Pick a goal. 25%, 50%, whatever. Just pick a goal. Now go hit the shots, and get up and down at the rate you select. Every shot, and every putt is different. Every pitch and chip requires your attention. And then you have to go and make it one putt. You may have a couple of good chip shots, maybe a couple good pitch shots, that make for easier putts. But what about the ones that don't? What about the 6 footer you felt good about with the 40 yard pitch shot, but you just missed the 6 footer. You have two putts left at 8 and 12 feet to reach your goal. Now there's more pressure on those putts.

Again, its a simple concept, but it not only is effective short game practice due to the focus with each shot, but it also always helped me practice some pressure, without actually playing competitive golf.

~Rock
 
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