Am I an A-hole?

darthweasel said:

I can take this two ways. the first is you are intentionally being a complete and utter troll. However, having read your stuff across many threads, I don't think you are intentionally doing so. I think you are someone who very passionately is decided the game is only to be played and talked about a certain way and it is your way or nothing. No worries, I get that, I used to be like that and, when I found out how it impacted the weight people gave my words, worked hard to overcome it. It is a definite drawback to having reasonable conversations between people with differing points of view.

The second way is you genuinely do not understand the difference between someone putting thought, time and effort into doing something good for someone they care about in an effort to provide joy and pleasure...and someone putting thought, time and effort into doing something they KNOW would be hurtful if discovered and hiding it not to be helpful to the other person but to be detrimental...


If you think those two things are the same...yeah, we are done here. Not really anywhere to go from there. To be sure, there are appropriate times to maintain secrets. There are also inappropriate times. And yes, a lot has to do with motivation.

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