Why do I bother playing?

Why do I wake up in the morning and decide to play golf? Why do I waste time and money on golf? No matter how much I practice, no matter how much I train, I am not getting anywhere with my game. Last night I had a great range workout and worked on a couple things. My irons were crisp and I was able to really work out the slice in my drive. Woods I still have issues with. So why is it when I go to the tee box, I wind up hitting 50m grounders, top every single iron and wedge shot, and three putt my way to the worst game of my life. I walked off the course today after my piss poor ground ball drive and went home. Who the hell shoots a 40 after five holes? How the hell is that fun? What is there to learn from that? Wasted $45 on green fees. How is it that I can train everyday, and have some scrub who doesn't play regularly beat me by 20 strokes? Right now I feel I threw nearly 2 grand in the trash. No matter what I do, I cannot get better and I am seriously thinking about quitting.
Here is my bad luck of the day: five hole, 6 lost balls, 3 ground ball drives, hybrid slice into the woods, shot limit on the second hole, 5i bump n run that went three feet, every single iron was topped, 1/3 of my wedge play actually worked, the rest were either topped or hit perpendicular to where I was aiming. My OOB handicap is 36.4, it has been since I started using OOB and has never been any lower. I am so horrible at this game that averaging a double bogey for the round is a far fetched dream.
My goal today was to not have any lost ball penalties and to average 2.5 putts through 18. Not a difficult task at all. Two sleeves gone after five and nearly 3 putts per, I wanted to smash my driver against a tree. I'm going to take some time off, not do any training, no golfing, nothing. If taking time off isn't going to work, I'll have a lovely FS thread in here for you guys.

Have you thought about seeking professional assistance? Lessons can (and usually will) make the game more enjoyable.
The old saying of Insanity equals someone doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
As you said "wasted $45 on greens fees", when a lesson at similar cost (or close) might just make this game a lot more fun for you.

Yes, yes...let the hate flow through you!! :tongue:

Seriously though, when you decide to play again, try a round or two with no goals in mind. Just play for the sheer heck of playing - no scorekeeping allowed! Hook a drive? F**k it, tee up another one! I know it's easier said than done, but maybe give it a try. Good luck!

I certainly share your frustrations. I had a very similar experience at the Atlanta Invitational. I think the best hole was a bogey and most of the scores were triples (which included about 4 or 5 pick ups). I was lost, frustrated and tired of looking like a complete fool on the course. I took a lesson which included video that really helped my state of mind. I played the next day and the round got of to a great start. It fell apart on the third hole and I struggled the rest of the day. BUT....I know what to work on and I know it is going to take time to get to where I want to be which is bogey golf. I can get there and I have the frame of mind to do it. My point is this ramble is to tell ya not to give up hope. This game will chew you up and spit you out no matter what level you play at. Tale a lesson, set small goals and try to forget the bad shots even if it seems like that is all that you have. It will come around. From one hacker to another, hang in there and take it one swing at a time. Now of I can just take my own advice!!! LOL

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I feel your pain, I've been in similar place this year and very close to quitting. Scoring was killing me, I now only keep score when playing in comps, I'll use multiple balls on a hole, take a million mulligans and try not to let it get to me when not going great. If there's a bad shot, throw down another one and go again.

Lesson will pck up any fundamental error but I've also stopped lessons for a while, I was getting overwhelmed with things to think about and have been much steadier since. I'll go back but not for a while. Magazine tip sections are also no go for now, too much info.

Take a break and come back to it anew, hope you work it out

AngryYankee said:

Who the hell shoots a 40 after five holes?

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---> this guy!!!<---

AngryYankee said:

How is it that I can train everyday, and have some scrub who doesn't play regularly beat me by 20 strokes?

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Gawd, I hate when that happens

AngryYankee said:

Right now I feel I threw nearly 2 grand in the trash. No matter what I do, I cannot get better and I am seriously thinking about quitting.

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I have these thoughts a few times every season. I think most high handicappers do.

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I can empathize with all of your frustration. golf is really frustrating at times, and it seems that everyone else has a magic switch that lets them swing the club decently without ever having to struggle with it. That's just the way it it is - some people have knack for it without having to work at it.

JB has some good adivice - lessons really do help. Your ball striking may not actually improve, but even then, you will gain some understanding of what you are doing wrong and you will gain some tools to help you overcome your flaws.

I believe if you look back through my previous threads, I put something very similar up a few months ago. But it was at that time that I got serious about practice and decided not to be so serious on the course. I was putting way too much pressure on myself on the course. On the range, there's no pressure and I hit the ball much better. Once I decided to practice more, play less and dedicate myself to always enjoying myself on the course and not letting bad shots get to me, things started to improve rapidly.

At the beginning of this season, I was struggling to break 100. I think I shot something like 7 104-107 rounds in a row. Now I am shooting in the 80s nearly every round. My worst round in the past 2 weeks has been a 90 flat and I felt like I was striking the ball horribly. It's amazing how quickly things can change in your game.

Don't let it stress you out. After some of my earlier lessons, I was a disaster on the course, but I refused to give up. I quit keeping score and just went out nice and relaxed and just poked the ball around the course, working on the things I had learned. Are the rounds going to be perfect? Never. But when you find yourself getting into a funk on the course, it seems to snowball and the more you get irritated by bad shots, the worse the next shot will be and then it just escalates until you walk off the course. Relax........ It'll all come around.

Why do any of us play? For the one stroke out of the 1000 that we take that was hit perfect. For that one putt that we just admire as it falls in the hole from 40ft. For that one drive that is just striped 280 with a slight fade that finds the center of the fairway. That is why we all get back up on the tee box. Not all of us are single digit guys or gals, but we all know that in four hours of frustration we will get that 15 mins of pure joy cause it all came together.

I normally play in the mid 80's/ low 90's, and last year I had 4 straight rounds in the 120's. The more pissed I got the worse it was, the harder I tried to hit the shot the worse it would turn out. Finally I just decided to go out there and swing slow and easy, no driver, no woods, and no cares on how it turned out and I got my swing back. I turned it around by closing my eyes and just letting it happen, dont force it and you will find the game that we all love again.

How about just trying to go out there and just swing the club. Don't think about anything. Just let it go.

I played with some THP'ers this past weekend and after 9 was on my way to breaking into the 100's.

I literally shut off my mental switch on the 10th tee box and just swung the club. No thoughts. No care for where it went. Ended up shooting 88.

On the front 9 I was trying too hard to be perfect. On the back 9 I wasn't trying to do anything but have fun. Funny how that works.

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I think just about everyone with a 15+ handicap has asked themselves something similar, and everyone has had a handicap over 15 at one point in time or another. I usually feel the way you're describing somewhere around the 14th hole every time I play. I'm almost fortunate that a 60-hour/week job keeps me from even making it to the range during the week, so I can happily justify my terrible play. Take a break. Two weekends, no golf. Do something else, anything else. Then come back. Don't hit your driver, and every shot use a club or two more than you think you need, just to force yourself to slow down and swing easy.

I'm going to level with you, when you do this, you'll likely end up overshooting most of the greens. That's ok, because you'll be swinging slow and easy.

At least you are above dirt right?! No one said golf was easy. Try a few lessons and don't be so hard on yourself. The game takes time and some relaxation while at the tee box. Take it one swing at a time. I know others will have similar things to say. But we all started at the beginning and with many ups and downs ( lots of downs in the beginning). It does come together at some point.

Why do I bother playing?

I shot a 51 on the front today with a 9 and two 7's. It was awful. A couple 3 putts, a lot of OB drives and a handful of really fat iron shots. Been playing for 17 years. I expect a lot out of myself. I'm like you, hit it pretty on the range and get to the course and I'm awful at times.

I loosened up on the back quite a bit and shot a 43 for a half way respectable 94.

Guys like us are gonna have some blow up holes every round, it's bound to happen. Play through it, loosen up and you'll get better.

You only wasted the $45 green fee when you quit before you walked off the 18th green.

If golf were easy..... heh..

Sounds like you're practicing a bunch, which is awesome, but it's not translating onto the course?

There have been some great training tools reviewed on THP that work your mental game.. Maybe that'd be a great start?

You are the over a 30 handicap consistently. Not to sound like a jerk, but what exactly do you consider "training"

DUDE! You sound a lot like me and what I'm going through at the moment and I fully sympathise with you. I played off scratch when I stopped playing over 5 years ago. I can go out and play 9 holes on my own and shoot close to even par yet in the few Saturday comps I've played I thing my lowest score so far is 88 ! I got to the point the last time out where I was asking myself exactly what you've been. I was so tempted to just say to the guys in my group, "Thanks for the game but I want to excuse myself before I lose the plot and make the day terrible for you too". I stuck with it and didn't improve at all but as soon as the round was over I gave the guys some cash for drinks and politely excused me. The odd thing is, golf has always been easy for me and for the first time in my life I'm putting circled numbers on the score card and having bogies outnumber pars. I have been doing some serious thinking and wondering if I might have been better off staying away from the game.
BUT! I know the skill is there and I'm planning on a few lessons when my wrist is right in a couple weeks to help shake the rust. More than anything I think I need to get over thinking I will pick it up again and play the way I used to straight off the bat. Holy hell I've only been back in it for a maximum of 6 weeks.
Like others have said, get to a few lessons and most importantly, relax and have fun without worrying about scores, lost balls and whatever else. Concentrate on hitting good shots and when you do, take some time to reflect on what you did, how it felt and that'll help rekindle your love with the game. Good luck.

If your doing good on the range but struggling on the course, perhaps move your practicing to the course. That's where I do most of my practicing, courses by me are usually empty during the week after 6 and cheap too. Price is usually equal to a bucket of range balls. Don't bring a score card, and play multiple balls on every hole. Perhaps spending more time on the course will ease the pressure of when your on it playing.

Like others have said, look at getting a few lessons. I did that this year and its helped my game, I struggled to break 100 in weekly medals and my teacher made a few changes and first medal after a lesson I shot a 92. My handicap went down from 26 to 23 in a few medals. So don't give up and get a lesson

After giving myself some time to calm down, and a little Battlefield 3 action, I can safely reply to the numerous responses in here. Saturday morning I went to play golf with a friend. I hit a 124. Ugly, but on paper it wasn't too bad considering the improvements I made in my game. I only had four dropped shots and had a 2.7 putt average. Yesterday night I went to the range to work on my driving, woods, and continue the PGA Tour training session. I was hitting well with my irons and driver, still struggled with the woods, but I wasn't too worried since I figured if I could get a good drive, I'm just down to my irons.
This morning I wake up, good mood, excited to play a round and map my progress. My PGA Tour training was putting. I get to the course practice green and set up and start rolling putts. Felt really good, 100% from 1m and 3m, about 80% from 9m. I was pleased with my results. With my range work from the day before and the nice putting I was doing, I figured it would translate well on the course. Couldn't have been more wrong. First tee shot was a 100m dribbler. Use my 5W and slice it onto the other fairway and lost the ball. Drop my shot and use my 52* and top the ball, but it went where I wanted it to go. Head over to where the ball rolled to and used the 56* and topped it again, but onto the green. The first green is very wavy, but the pin placement was in a good position and I didn't have much break to deal with. Wound up three putting.
Second tee shot was another topped ball and lost it in the fescue. Took a drop and smacked it with my 3W. This was my best shot of the five holes I did. I was in PW distance and got with in 10 yuards of the green, but on the fairway. Close enough for a bump n run. Used my 5i to roll it up and watched the ball travel 2 feet.
Third tee shot was a par three and I used a 27* hybrid. In hindsight, it was too much club and could have settled with a 6i. Nonetheless, I smacked the ball and watched it slice away from me. Took a drop, three wedge shots, and two putts later I was 3 over.
My fourth shot was a beast. Bombed the thing down the fairway, by far the best shot I have hit in a long time. That got me pumped up. Figured that maybe my body wasn't warmed up yet and now I can play. Wrong. 9i, 52*, 56*, bunker, and three putts later, I was back in my miserable mood.

I'd keep going, but it wound up with me telling the people I was grouped up with to go ahead without me and I walked off the course. I really don't know why nothing is translating over from training to the course. Why can I hit well on the range and practice greens, but can't do anything right when I need it to happen. This is what frustrates me, this is why I got so heated. I wish I could be those guys that struggle to break 100, I am struggling to break 120.

Lessons. Video lessons. At this point it seems like you're well beyond the point where self-instruction will have any benefits.

Hey AngryYankee, have you thought about playing some par 3 courses, if there are any nearby? Also, make sure you're playing white tees.

This http://www.amazon.com/Golf-Is-Not-Game-Perfect/dp/0743508092 along with lessons may be exactly what you need. I agree that golf should be fun, I have found that with realistic expectations of my actual ability versus what I would wish it to be have made it just that, fun to play. I have posted scores from 73 to 94 this year and guess what, the 94 was the round I enjoyed most. It was with 3 great THPers at an exclusive club in Florida, what was not to enjoy?

I could be wrong but do you lift your head early while hitting? I know a lot of topping the ball comes from lifting your head early and not keeping it still. Im guessing you are a lot more relaxed on the range but when you get to the course you get some bad thoughts about what has happened in the past into your head. Like the others have said maybe some lessons or maybe just go out to the course by yourself and just hit balls with no pressure from other people or worrying about scoring. Take some old balls so it doesn't matter if you lose them and just hit them, if you put it into the trees just pick it up and bring it onto the fairway and play from there. If you are having a bad time no point in making it worse by playing from trees and stuff. Just enjoy it and hopefully train your mind that its not to bad.

JB said:

Have you thought about seeking professional assistance? Lessons can (and usually will) make the game more enjoyable.
The old saying of Insanity equals someone doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
As you said "wasted $45 on greens fees", when a lesson at similar cost (or close) might just make this game a lot more fun for you.

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I agree with JB. Even the tour pro's all use teachers and work with them often.

What "training" are you doing and why are you doing it without professional help?

I am a decent golfer 4.5 OOB handicap, but when my swing is off I don't have the ability to diagnose the problem and wondering how you know what you are doing right or wrong. If you really want to improve your game, take a series of golf lessons to work on the fundamentals of the golf swing. Don't rely on what a magazine or video tells you to do to fix a problem. There are 100+ ways to fix a slice, but if the fix you are applying isn't related to your problem they you aren't helping yourself.

With your handicap you are at the point that everything is probably difficult; try to oversimplify. Hopefully you are playing the forward tees. Next time you are out try to only use half swings with every club (basically the L drill) to try and keep the ball in play.

Golf is hard.

Take lessons and lighten up. You aren't feeding your family with golf, so just go out and be happy to be alive and outside.