Balancing Family and Golf

I hope this goes without saying. But if the leash gets extended and you play a round of golf, you don't get to complain when she goes to the spa for a mani/pedi.


Better yet, tell her to go get one. I have to kick her out of the house sometimes.
 
I guess I am lucky in that although we don't have kids to worry about, due to the logistics of work we only really have weekends to plan things to do, so fitting golf in can mean I feel a bit selfish about disappearing for 4hrs or so rather than doing things together. It is a bit of a standing joke that Jen says she is either a golf widow or a motorbike widow during the summer, but she has always said she would never stop me doing the things I like and for that reason alone, I always try to plan things well in advance and let her know to make sure it doesn't interfere with anything else

Fortunately I have a 9 hole course that I have to drive past on my way home from work so this summer we decided to give it a try and found they have a twilight rate which starts at 5pm (handy as I wouldn't be there before 5.30pm anyway) and it costs £5 for as much golf as you can play, so during the longest days you can still easily fit 18 holes in meaning I can play during the week and keep the weekends free
 
Better yet, tell her to go get one. I have to kick her out of the house sometimes.

Oddly, when I leave for a business trip or extended period of time my wife goes to her parents with the kids. When my wife leaves for a few days, she is surprised that the house is still standing and everybody is present and accounted for.
 
Something I have learned, plan your rounds as soon as possible. "Next week Saturday, would it fit if I played golf at {insert time}?" And learn to love 9 hole rounds.

I've always felt cheated not playing 18 but I know 9 holes is the way to go if I want to get out more. Fortunately there are 2 9-hole courses near home I can sneak out to and be back in 2 hours or less.
 
I've always felt cheated not playing 18 but I know 9 holes is the way to go if I want to get out more. Fortunately there are 2 9-hole courses near home I can sneak out to and be back in 2 hours or less.

Even if you only play 9 holes at an 18 hole course. I always looked at it as 9 holes is easier to fit in than 18, and cheaper. Diapers and baby food gets expensive.
 
Wife, Kids, Work are tough but they aren't a juggling act, the are responsibilities. If a little pleasure can be worked in great but there may be a time where things like golf need to take a backseat for a few years until life affords the freedom to work some fun back in on a more consistent basis. Looking at post counts and rounds played I'm shocked there aren't more divorced unemployed guys on golf forums.
 
This is why I am glad we won't have any. If we had one now we would never be able to retire! The calculator is now in 2012 dollars.

I know it's a personal thing though, and I am not knocking having kids, but wow.

http://www.thehackersparadise.com/forum/showthread.php?11353-Raising-a-kid-How-much-does-it-cost

extremely misleading numbers thats for sure

There isn't a cost, bill, or check I have written that has made it not worth seeing my kids everyday. Whatever the cost, they're worth it.
 
There isn't a cost, bill, or check I have written that has made it not worth seeing my kids everyday. Whatever the cost, they're worth it.

right on, im sure if I didnt have kids Id somehow be just as broke as I am now.

There is no value that can be placed on them, and its a shame if people are not having kids based on being scared about future expenses.

But alas we have deviated from the thread I believe.
 
right on, im sure if I didnt have kids Id somehow be just as broke as I am now.

There is no value that can be placed on them, and its a shame if people are not having kids based on being scared about future expenses.

But alas we have deviated from the thread I believe.

Maybe a hair. I think the bigger point is that if my rounds of golf go down because of parenting responsibilities, that's ok. I am willing to work on dad time and golf time.
 
Wife, Kids, Work are tough but they aren't a juggling act, they are responsibilities.

Didn't see anyone say the above. They're priority number one for everyone that has posted on this thread that has kids. The idea is to find some time to play golf and keep everyone happy. If that is less or not at all then so be it, family first.
 
Didn't see anyone say the above. They're priority number one for everyone that has posted on this thread that has kids. The idea is to find some time to play golf and keep everyone happy. If that is less or not at all then so be it, family first.

No, I get it, its just when I was in my 20's I could hear myself saying the same thing. In my mid-40's I cringe because I'd give back a bunch of those 9 and 18 hole rounds I snuck out for back. Maybe a better way of saying it is the golf will still be there when the kids move on.
 
right on, im sure if I didnt have kids Id somehow be just as broke as I am now.

There is no value that can be placed on them, and its a shame if people are not having kids based on being scared about future expenses.

But alas we have deviated from the thread I believe.

Unfortunately it's probably more likely selfish types then struggling ones that make that sacrifice. The house, the car, the vacations are fixed expenses in many folks life's and the ability to fit in the obligation of a child has little room. Personally i sacrificed toys and time for alot of years.
 
My wife and I are expecting our first (and hopefully only) in the next 3.5 months. I currently golf every Saturday and expect that to slow a bit initially but I have a hard time understanding why it's so difficult to have the wife take the kid for a round and then you take them the rest of the day or sunday or some type of compromise. I've also come to the conclusion that those people that say "I really only got out 2-3 times per year until my kids were X years old" are not real fans. 2-3 times per year? C'mon

Also, I'd love to play 9 holes but courses here only offer 18 hole rates. The few that offer 9 holes cost 90% of the 18 hole rate.

One final thought, I'm not sure I'd get satisfaction from 12-15 rounds per year. Golf is hard and addicting. I LOVE and am relatively obsessed with it but if I got out once a month I'd probably give it up because I'd HATE to see myself play so far under my potential.

Damn, now I'm nervous :(
 
My wife and I are expecting our first (and hopefully only) in the next 3.5 months. I currently golf every Saturday and expect that to slow a bit initially but I have a hard time understanding why it's so difficult to have the wife take the kid for a round and then you take them the rest of the day or sunday or some type of compromise. I've also come to the conclusion that those people that say "I really only got out 2-3 times per year until my kids were X years old" are not real fans. 2-3 times per year? C'mon

Also, I'd love to play 9 holes but courses here only offer 18 hole rates. The few that offer 9 holes cost 90% of the 18 hole rate.

Every household is different. Compromise is key. But to say you know how it is going to go, you might want to take a wait-and-see approach. I have had eight 18 hole rounds of golf in 2013. Not bad actually. Especially since most of those were 36 hole weekends. But to say that I don't love golf because other things are taking priority, sorry but you have no idea.
 
My wife and I are expecting our first (and hopefully only) in the next 3.5 months. I currently golf every Saturday and expect that to slow a bit initially but I have a hard time understanding why it's so difficult to have the wife take the kid for a round and then you take them the rest of the day or sunday or some type of compromise. I've also come to the conclusion that those people that say "I really only got out 2-3 times per year until my kids were X years old" are not real fans. 2-3 times per year? C'mon

Also, I'd love to play 9 holes but courses here only offer 18 hole rates. The few that offer 9 holes cost 90% of the 18 hole rate.

One final thought, I'm not sure I'd get satisfaction from 12-15 rounds per year. Golf is hard and addicting. I LOVE and am relatively obsessed with it but if I got out once a month I'd probably give it up because I'd HATE to see myself play so far under my potential.

Damn, now I'm nervous :(

If it makes you less nervous, I didn't have any issues with just 1 child. I got out 50+ times this year and my wife was fine with it for the most part. A toddler and a baby is a different story and that is a lot to put on my wife on a regular basis.
 
Huge difference from one to two.
 
If it makes you less nervous, I didn't have any issues with just 1 child. I got out 50+ times this year and my wife was fine with it for the most part. A toddler and a baby is a different story and that is a lot to put on my wife on a regular basis.

You're right. 1 kiddo is a breeze compared to two.
 
I'm skimming, so I apologize if I make points that others have already made. With that being said, I'm a father of 3 and my wife works full-time as well. I won't say that me playing golf every weekend never causes any friction, but I've found ways to make it work without having a full-scale war every week. Here are some points that may help:

1. Encourage your wife to develop her own interests/hobbies and support her spending time doing them as well. Whether she works outside the home or not, she needs a break from the kids for adult time on a regular basis as well. My wife swims a couple nights a week and gets at least one good bike ride in on the weekend. Having her understand how important it is for herself to have that outlet, makes it much easier for her to understand my need for the same.

2. Get your wife involved in golf as well. My wife goes out and hits them occasionally. She'll even play the odd round. She doesn't prioritize it over the other sports she's interested in, so it's not all the time, but she enjoys it. If your wife has any interest in the game and has not played before, I'd really suggest getting her a few lessons right off the bat. It will help her first impression of the game and could make all the difference.

3. Get the kids involved. Yours are a little young yet, but as soon as they're old enough, find a First Tee and/or other junior programs they can enjoy. If nothing else, you'll get some range time when they're doing their thing (I do this all the time!). We're not at the point that our entire family can go out and play 18 together yet, but it will happen eventually.

4. Make an effort to get more done during the week around the house. Since we both work, I cook a lot, deal with running the kids around, do dishes, clean-up, help kids with homework, etc. The more you take the load off of her during the week, the more she'll see that you need some fun on the weekend.

There's probably more that I'm forgetting, but those are some of the methods I employ to keep the peace.
 
The best thing that happened, was that the ladies in our innner circle starting having ladies night. She gets to enjoy those, I stay home with the boys while she goes out and does her lady things. Its quite the juggling act with two boys (4 and 15 months), this year I actually started getting a little more serious about golf, we have a standing agreement of at least golf once a month but on average I have been going 2-3 times.

Sometimes I also go out and play, and she goes and gets her nails/toes done and I will foot the bill. Or at time I get her a massage or something she can enjoy.
Sometimes you got to give in order to take, compromise is the key.

I wish there was a course around me that offered 9 hole rates, that would be great.
 
Thought I would revisit this and compare now that we have our 2nd child (2 yo daughter and 9 mos old son).
Last season at this time I had played 34 rounds of golf, 17 of them on the weekend.
This season I've played 27 rounds (Including my first THP event) but only 8 on the weekend.
I'm getting out a little more than I thought I would actually.
 
That is great production for 2 little ones!! I have a 5 & 2 year old. I have found that weekday morning, 9 holes before work is doable and OK with my wife. I can get a 6am tee time and still be at work by 815-830 or so. The other benefit of going this early is that I miss all the traffic as I play near the office.
 
Back
Top