flog2424

Philippians 4:13
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In about a month I will be becoming a dad for the first time. This weekend I took a "Daddy Boot Camp" class and it was full of valuable information. I want to know the real valuable stuff from THP'ers to give us dads, new and old a place to go with questions from feedings to ways to keep the little ones entertained. Let me know your thoughts? Most valuable thing you learned that has helped with infants to adolesants
 
Enjoy the time when they are young. Don't wish time away especially at those early ages as it will be gone before you know it.

Oh and kids are sponges they hear and see everything lol
 
During childbirth - all eyes on the baby at all times.

Everything afterwards - just relax. Enjoy everything. There will come some times when you will get very frustrated or upset, as will your wife. Lack of sleep, lack of experience, you name it. Just take a deep breath and keep going. Time flies so quickly, just take everything as it comes. One minute you're holding a newborn in your arms, the next minute you're chasing them down the hallway.

And that advice doesn't change. I have a 14yr old and a 9yr old. It's gone by so quickly. Be there for them as much as possible, give them your attention. I remember my daughter begging me to play My Little Pony or "Princess dress up" with her, and I'm glad I always did because she's past that stage in her life now. She may give me dirty looks all the time because I dare to tell her to get off of Facetime at 8pm, but we'll still laugh and joke about those little things we did together.
 
To add to what mikedean said, they also repeat everything they hear. :D

In a word, patience. It can be rough in the beginning, especially your first. There is all kinds of advice but really you just have to feel them out. I have 5 and although there were similarities, each was different in their own way.
Oh, and sleep. Get it whenever you can. Same goes for mama. New mamas that are tired can get reallllll cranky. Another time where patience helps.
Lastly, enjoy the experience. They are a ton of work but it also fun to watch them grow.
Congrats to you and the wife.
 
Daddy Boot Camp

Everyone is going to give you "advice" smile and say thanks. You and your wife will figure it out and just because it worked for some it may not work for you.

As far as the dad part goes, just do what you can to help mom. The first few months it will be 100% focus on the new baby and while she may not admit it, mom will get tired out. I took the route of cleaning the house, laundry and cooking to take all that off her plate. Also offer to watch the baby so she can sleep. Usually they say sleep when the baby sleeps, but that's not always possible.

Congrats on your new addition and relax. It may seem overwhelming at first, but once you get a routine down it will get better.
 
Do what you can to set a routine early. The routine will most likely change, but try to get into one.


Also, hold and kiss them as much as possible.
 
First year is very hard. Or the first 8-10 months at least. Probably the hardest thing you will ever do. You'll be amazed at what you are capable of though.

Two things that I hope you'll remember. Write them down.

1. Whatever it is, it will will pass. In other words, as difficult as a situation or little moment in time may seem, in a few weeks or a month it will be gone and you'll have moved on to a new challenge.
2. Take a moment to enjoy the things you'll eventually see as a duty. I remember trying to put our youngest to bed in the summer of 2013 one night. She wouldn't fall asleep while I was rocking and I was so annoyed. Erica reminded me to stop and smell the flowers. You get so transfixed on the result (getting her to bed so you can relax after 16 hours straight) that you forget to enjoy the fact you're sitting in a chair and rocking your baby.

Schedules/routines are good. Do this at all costs and be persistent. Awake xx minutes, asleep xx minutes. You'll be counting the minutes some days :D Early on they sleep a ton. After a while it's like 90 minutes awake and then a nap. Mine always slept either 45 minutes or 90 minutes at that stage. It's the weirdest thing, but it was like clockwork. If I got 46 minutes, I knew I'd get 90. Eventually they stay awake longer and you'll go to a couple naps a day. Down the road, one.

Not much you can do to entertain a baby until they can sit up and move around a little. 8-10 months or so they get a little more mobile and they get a lot happier in my experience. I honestly think they get bored of just laying around not being able to move lol. Makes them crabby sometimes.

If you share the work, you'll both be tired and need some rest. The 'take care of mommy' thing should be take care of take care of each other in my opinion. Give each other the opportunity to get away or get some sleep. Everybody is happier and a better parent when they have a chance to recharge, even if it's only for an hour. No use having both of you around 24/7 and miserable. Encourage her to leave the house and get out yourself. At night we tended to take shifts (I'd usually just stay awake until midnight while she went to bed at 8pm), other switch off nights.
 
"The days are long, the years are short".

You will understand this truism in no time flat.

Also, in the spirit of what this thread is intended for, advice is good but your child is not anyone else's child. I have a lot of things I could offer as advice, but every single one would be caveated by "This worked for my children". Every child is different, and just remember that.

To that end, the one thing we did that paid off in spades was to ingrain a sleep schedule from the beginning. Bedtimes for everyone were no later than 7pm for the first few years. It has paid off for us in that we have had four awesome sleepers and to this day they have bedtimes between 7:30 and 8:30 and have been getting 10+ hours of sleep through the night since they were a few months old. We have made a routine that every day dinner is at 5, then playtime/homework until bedtime. Routines are good for us.
 
Lots of good advice here. Spend as much time with them as you can - playing, family vacations, coaching their teams, etc. The cliche that it goes super fast is true. Mine are 17, 15, and 9 now and it's very hard for my wife and I to grasp that one is leaving next summer and the other will be moving out in 3 years. We just spent the weekend doing college visits with my oldest so my last bit of advice is start saving for college in a 529 plan when they are still in diapers.
 
Lot's of great advice form everyone, here is one that has not been said unless I missed it, yes it is all about the baby and doing everything you can for your wife but never ever forget, don't stop "DATING YOUR WIFE"! Make time for the both of you to just go out to dinner without your baby from time to time. As hard as it is in the beginning, this is something you both will need.

Oh and two months ago mine were in their teens, one year age they were in grade school, now they are in their 20's.....It goes by just like that.
 
Lots of good advice here. Spend as much time with them as you can - playing, family vacations, coaching their teams, etc. The cliche that it goes super fast is true. Mine are 17, 15, and 9 now and it's very hard for my wife and I to grasp that one is leaving next summer and the other will be moving out in 3 years. We just spent the weekend doing college visits with my oldest so my last bit of advice is start saving for college in a 529 plan when they are still in diapers.

Great advice. I think my kids have more in savings than I do at the point.
 
I know this is going to sound odd. But every once in a while, try to see the world in their eyes. I wish I could explain it better. But you will see them get excited at all kinds of small stuff. Get excited to. It won't be hard. But simple things will blow their mind. Popping popcorn, sunlight through a window, or a pet that licks them for the first time. Simple and easy stuff like that. their excitement is contagious. Don't become jaded.
 
I know this is going to sound odd. But every once in a while, try to see the world in their eyes. I wish I could explain it better. But you will see them get excited at all kinds of small stuff. Get excited to. It won't be hard. But simple things will blow their mind. Popping popcorn, sunlight through a window, or a pet that licks them for the first time. Simple and easy stuff like that. their excitement is contagious. Don't become jaded.

I spent 10 minutes looking out the window at birds fly around the backyard on Saturday. C'mon dad. C'mon!
 
Lots of good advice here. Spend as much time with them as you can - playing, family vacations, coaching their teams, etc. The cliche that it goes super fast is true. Mine are 17, 15, and 9 now and it's very hard for my wife and I to grasp that one is leaving next summer and the other will be moving out in 3 years. We just spent the weekend doing college visits with my oldest so my last bit of advice is start saving for college in a 529 plan when they are still in diapers.

totally agree... my oldest is 21, finishing up her Junior year of college. We are cash flowing college right now... it's not fun! Save as much as you can early on for college. My other daughter is turning 13 next Friday. Enjoy every second of each stage as they will be grown up before you know it.
 
Being a dad is the absolute best thing ever. Although many have said here, it cannot be overstated....enjoy every single moment, even the ones that don't seem enjoyable at the time (dirty diapers, rocking them to sleep in middle of night, etc). Make sure that you step up and help your wife, she will appreciate it and your kids will grow to know that you are a go-to for them also. Practice your funny faces and noises, little kids eat that stuff up. Most of all, just be there for them....make them meals and snacks, play with them, punish them fairly, etc.

One last tip I just thought of, I subscribed to emails from All Pro Dad. I get a couple of emails a day about a variety of topics. Those are great reminders and help keep in perspective what really is important in life.

Congrats and best of luck to you and your wife!
 
Before we had our first I asked my friend who had two kids what it was like. He said when you think of having a child you are probably thinking of a 5-7 year old, throwing ball, taking to Disney, etc. He was right.

Like someone said earlier the first 8 or so months are pretty bad, but enjoy it. Those first couple of months don't last forever, and you will think that they are. The lack of sleep is a b*tch. You won't get much back in terms of playing with, smiling, laughing for the first 6 or so months. Makes it hard as a guy, the mother will get most of that bonding. One things I would recommend is try to stay rational about the breast nazis. Your wife is going to feel so much pressure to breast feed it is at an unhealthy level in society right now, IMO. Having the baby able to take a bottle (be it breast milk pumped, or formula) will be a huge convenience to both of you. You will be able to bond/feed the baby and give your wife a break at times. Alternating nights up, or taking naps is key early on.

I have a 2 year old and a 7 month right now. It is crazy how fast it goes by while dragging at times. I know that sounds weird but you will understand it soon enough. It is probably the hardest yet most rewarding/wonderful experience you will go through. I look forward to my 2 year olds bed time routine every day. Usually one of the best moments of my day. She now picks the books she wants me to read her or we sing songs together while we rock in our chair. Just wonderful.

Read to your kids, studies are pretty definitive how much that helps. Tell them you love them all the time.
 
Before we had our first I asked my friend who had two kids what it was like. He said when you think of having a child you are probably thinking of a 5-7 year old, throwing ball, taking to Disney, etc. He was right.

Like someone said earlier the first 8 or so months are pretty bad, but enjoy it. Those first couple of months don't last forever, and you will think that they are. The lack of sleep is a b*tch. You won't get much back in terms of playing with, smiling, laughing for the first 6 or so months. Makes it hard as a guy, the mother will get most of that bonding. One things I would recommend is try to stay rational about the breast nazis. Your wife is going to feel so much pressure to breast feed it is at an unhealthy level in society right now, IMO. Having the baby able to take a bottle (be it breast milk pumped, or formula) will be a huge convenience to both of you. You will be able to bond/feed the baby and give your wife a break at times. Alternating nights up, or taking naps is key early on.

I have a 2 year old and a 7 month right now. It is crazy how fast it goes by while dragging at times. I know that sounds weird but you will understand it soon enough. It is probably the hardest yet most rewarding/wonderful experience you will go through. I look forward to my 2 year olds bed time routine every day. Usually one of the best moments of my day. She now picks the books she wants me to read her or we sing songs together while we rock in our chair. Just wonderful.

Read to your kids, studies are pretty definitive how much that helps. Tell them you love them all the time.

lol lots of truth here
 
Try not to stress yourself out. Easier said than done yes but there's something that clicks inside of you and Dad Mode kicks in. Right now if you were woken up by something at 2am you would be furious but once it's by your own child, there's a sense of "man on a mission" to tend to the child. You will find yourself doing things you had no clue you were capable of.

Best advice I can give you without being too repetitive of others is to always think 3 steps ahead of the baby. Especially when the baby starts crawling. They can get into something so quickly it'll happen before you know it. So don't look at where the baby is now, look at what they could possibly get into.

Other than that, just remember that when the baby is crying, it's usually for something. Rarely will they cry just to cry. The baby may be hungry or tired or teething but it's gonna be something. So don't get frustrated if the crying doesn't stop. You just have to keep searching for the answer
 
I'm 5 months in to being a new dad. As I write this, I'm sat here alone with my daughter, Poppy, as she cries at my rubbish attempts to keep her entertained. The first couple of months are a breeze. All they do is eat, sleep and poo. Then all hell breaks loose LOL. You literally see them change daily. One day, they are all floppy and wobbly. Literally, then next day they are sitting up looking at you to entertain them. I play daddy day care 2 days a week, and bloody hell, it can be hard, but wouldn't change it for a thing. As my wife says, it's no fun and all joy.
 
What I've learned about being a Dad:
  • No matter what the boo-boo, kids bounce back into shape like Rubbermaid. Don't make a big deal about every little thing, and your kid will laugh it off, and go right back to playing.
  • Time is the most important thing you can give your kid. My daughter and I don't always like the same things, but we drag each other to stuff pretty often.
  • Having a tea party with your daughter won't kill you, and anybody who thinks it will make you less of a man, is not qualified to make that assumption
  • It's a good thing my wife is a good influence, else my kid would be on TV saying "hey y'all, watch this!"
  • They are funny, and get funnier as they get older
  • I wish I could let some things slide, that is my worst flaw. Small things make me bananas, like shoes left in the middle of the living room floor.
  • I learn everything about being a dad the hard way, and my parents think that is hilarious.
  • Grandparents will spoil your kid rotten, then send her home to you and laugh about what they've done.
  • I'm nervous about the teenage years, they are right around the corner...
 
Here is what I have in my 13 months as a dad.

1. Make sure your fingernails are cut all the time. Their skid is soft and you may scratch them with longer nails

2. Do all you can to give your wife a break. When mine was able to start pumping and bottle feeding, I got up at night every night to do it. It did not matter that I had to go to work I was just trying to let her get some rest, and she needed it.

3. Make sure you know how to swaddle

4. When you get mad/frustrated switch with her. Give each other breaks

5. Give as many kisses as you can and enjoy it all.
 
When you new baby gets a cold and your wife has been up all night tending to the sick child, DON'T leave in the morning to go hunting anyway. That son is graduating here in about 3 weeks and I STILL hear about that.
 
Not sure I can add to the great advice already given, but be sure to visit the parenting thread and read/share some stories!
 
Prolly the worst os that they cannot tell you they are sick. My oldest was about 15 mos old when all of a sudden it seemed she couldnt hear us. Sure enough she needed temp ear tubes that just fell out when they were no longer needed. Other than that ur instincts will take over. I was really nervous with my first, but she turned out great
 
1. Your job is to be their parent, not their friend. There's a difference.
2. Hugs and letting them know they are loved are invaluable, yet free to give. Don't be stingy with them.
3. Be consistent.
4. They aren't you. They will develop their own interests and ways of doing things. You may have been an all state baseball player. They may hate sports and love theater. Embrace it not because you like theater but because it is THEIR passion.
 
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