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Country Club Member Impressions/Advice

The perceived "holier than thou" attitude at a lot of CC's are exactly why I would not join one.....well, that and the money.

I have two very good friends that belong to one of the most prestigious CC's on this side of the state.
They are both down to earth folks that have been members to that CC for years and years (Steve for over 40 years). They both talk about the "too cool for school" attitudes at their club.
They do play a lot of golf at their club, but I'll bet 40% of their golf is played elsewhere due to the snootiness.
 
Shakey said:
When we joined our club, the pro told me about all the different groups & offered to introduce me to any of them I'd be interested in joining.

It really helped break the ice & I've been playing with a regular group ever since.
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I did the same and have really enjoyed the different groups I joined up with. All in all, really good group of folks just have to put forth a little effort.
 
My club is the same with a standoff-ish mens group. I've never played with them or attempted to, nor do I have any desire to. I was fortunate enough to know a few members before joining, so I play with them more often than not. I'm also lucky that I have a son that plays golf so I take him out to play more than I golf with anyone else.

I've never been a big fan of public courses and getting paired up with someone I don't know. When I play public courses I try to have four players lined up ahead of time so that we don't run into any issues. Mostly because you never know how it's going to go. So playing alone isn't a deal breaker for me.
 
I am a bit confused with the idea of a group being stand-off'ish as a whole.

When I book a tee time at my club, I usually reach out to my preferred playing partners. I rarely go to the club with the intent of getting paired with another group, and that's simply by choice. It doesn't make me standoff'ish or snooty. Most men's groups have originated in smaller groups that decided to create a regular game for the people they prefer to play with -- Often times with a buck or thirty on the line.

They don't owe anyone the right to join them. It's not their job to be a formal welcoming committee to random new members. They golf with the members they have befriended in a structured, weekly manner. Like msot courses, there is a men's league at my course every Tuesday night that anyone can join. It's a great place to meet people and have fun with different golfers once a week.
 
brianmk24 said:
I'm guessing vagabond.
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I actually think it is an intentional golfish word play on the word vagabond. by changing the "v" to "b" it makes the start "bag". Admittedly, it is missing the "d" at the end but which of us hasn't had a typo here.
 
Canadan said:
I am a bit confused with the idea of a group being stand-off'ish as a whole.

When I book a tee time at my club, I usually reach out to my preferred playing partners. I rarely go to the club with the intent of getting paired with another group, and that's simply by choice. It doesn't make me standoff'ish or snooty. Most men's groups have originated in smaller groups that decided to create a regular game for the people they prefer to play with -- Often times with a buck or thirty on the line.

They don't owe anyone the right to join them. It's not their job to be a formal welcoming committee to random new members. They golf with the members they have befriended in a structured, weekly manner. Like msot courses, there is a men's league at my course every Tuesday night that anyone can join. It's a great place to meet people and have fun with different golfers once a week.
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To be fair, the OP said the group was the men's club - not just a group of guys that regularly play together - with scheduled games 3 times a week. If you showed up to play in your Tuesday night men's club and they told you there was a vetting process and they'd get back to you in a week, you wouldn't be put off? I think it is entirely reasonable to expect that as a paying member of the club you are going to have access to club events.
 
tequila4kapp said:
To be fair, the OP said the group was the men's club - not just a group of guys that regularly play together - with scheduled games 3 times a week. If you showed up to play in your Tuesday night men's club and they told you there was a vetting process and they'd get back to you in a week, you wouldn't be put off? I think it is entirely reasonable to expect that as a paying member of the club you are going to have access to club events.
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if this "Mens Club" was run by the club or Golf Staff, It would be off putting, but OP said in a reply to me that it's run by the member's & not the Professionals/staff which to me indicates its a "clique" of guys who want to play together.
 
tequila4kapp said:
To be fair, the OP said the group was the men's club - not just a group of guys that regularly play together - with scheduled games 3 times a week. If you showed up to play in your Tuesday night men's club and they told you there was a vetting process and they'd get back to you in a week, you wouldn't be put off? I think it is entirely reasonable to expect that as a paying member of the club you are going to have access to club events.
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Hah, probably not. The men's league at my course has historically taken too long to complete (2.5-3 hour 9s) so I've never bothered with it. I prefer to spend time at the club lounge introducing myself through beers with the membership I don't know. As a long standing member of 16 years, my biggest struggle is helping them understand I'm not a 16 year old kid any longer. I know it's excluded me from a handful of groups in the past and I honestly couldn't care less.

My course has loads of groups who are inclusive and play at scheduled times. I've gotten invites from some and the cold shoulder from others, and I couldn't be less bothered by it.
 
I joined a club in August and have been very happy with the choice. Because of my schedule the times I go play are usually when the course is fairly empty, but the people I do see on there are very friendly. The course itself is far and away better than any of the area public offerings - and there are some nice public courses in the area - so that alone sells itself. Add in that with the flat rate monthly fee means that I don't feel pressured into getting 18 in every time which is really nice. I can play what I want for as long as I want, and if I want to drop out and either go home or hit the practice areas then so be it. I can take my kids out in the evenings with almost no worry of bothering anyone, and they sometimes will play and sometimes just want to run around on the course (being very mindful of not bothering any other golfers we see). They are family oriented and encourage bringing the kids out in fact.

As we are very new, getting to know people takes some time. I would like to find a group of golfers to play with there but at this point in my life my golf is a slave to my schedule, not vice versa. When the pool opens up next summer, we will be there a lot and that's when hopefully we will make some new friends there. I also may try and move my golf to Saturday mornings (if possible) when the course is busy and maybe find a group that way. Plus there is this brand new member with a locker right next to mine, has the same name as me but is 30 years older. He might be worth a try to play with. :)
 
Canadan said:
As a long standing member of 16 years, my biggest struggle is helping them understand I'm not a 16 year old kid any longer.
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I would have pegged you as 19, I can see the problem. :alien:
 
I joined my first country club this fall and I've been paired with strangers everytime I played. I haven't met anyone that I've taken any issue with. I played the Mens Club this past Saturday and everyone seemed fine. I'm new to the country club and I explain that to my partners each time, everyone seems pretty welcoming so far. I consider myself to have a laid back personality and just mind my own business, seems to have worked out so far.

The mens club is a bit strict about the pace of play, which is nice. The starter marks what time you tee off at and marks the time you hand your card in. You are expected to play in under 4 hours, if you go over, your name is listed on the "board" and you are the last person to tee off the following week. I think we can all appreciate getting rounds in on Saturday/Sunday mornings in under 4 hours, especially when between 60-100 people are playing.
 
rbarthle17 said:
I would have pegged you as 19, I can see the problem. :alien:
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I do tend to have a young face. Usually it's not the people that deter me from a group, it's the money involved. Don't need to be dropping 50 on a Saturday morning round, especially when i give out strokes like candy. Bet me a beer and let's roll! Oh, and his this driver you never heard of and tell me what you think. #CaseStudy #Research
 
If I had to guess the average age of the membership of the CC I am a part of, I'd say it's 65 (or greater). Lots of old retired men and women, most of whom have been set in their ways and groups for decades longer than I have ever played the game. When I take part in the club's Sun-Downers games I've always been welcomed and they've never said an ill word about my high handicap. With that said, on most days they'll tool around in their five-somes taking six hours to play a round, oblivious to the world around them. No point in getting upset about it, and I learned pretty quickly to just skip a hole and make my way back to it at the end of the round.

You get out of it what you put into it. Sometimes it takes a bit of effort to do so. For me, I'm content playing my rounds either before the club opens*, or walk nine after work on my own. If I wanted to socialize, I'd have to put more effort into it, and wouldn't expect it to necessarily be easy to start, being as I have almost nothing in common with my fellow members ... most of whom have children my age.


*Made it a point early to make friends with the head groundskeeper and club manager.
 
I joined a club in May and it's been quite an adjustment for me but I've definitely learned some thing about meeting members and playing with them. The first is you have to have a good attitude all the time. Nobody wants to play with someone who isn't pleasant to be around on the course(I'm in no way saying this is you I'm just saying in a general rule). You're almost putting yourself on show at the start saying to everyone, here I am, notice me.

As people see you around the club and you or they make a comment in two in passing, over time people will start to open up a little more.

The applying to be in a group thing is honestly not a bad thing. Nobody wants a jerk in a long running group of friends to come in and ruin their good time. They don't need you and are already having a good time, so they want to be careful about who they let in. It makes some sense.

Almost all clubs have new member socials that are worth the time.

Look for groups of two or three on the tee sheet and just sign up to join them. Most members don't mind and it is THE best way to meet people and get noticed.

I've been a member for 6 months now and only now is that hard work starting to pay off. People recognize me now, I have a couple people who are happy to have me in their group if I see them on the tee sheet and another member who actively looks to play with me. As well as several others who stop to talk with me whenever they see me.

All clubs run on course events. Often with random pairings. Join in on those and be a great partner. It will pay off in time.

The other key thing to remember: People are jerks all over. Country clubs have their fair share of jerks just like anywhere else in the world. Just avoid them and let it be water off your back if they're jerks to you. Find membership that aren't jerks and look out for them.

You'll get out of the club what you put into it, and with the attitude you use to do it. So be patient, be thankful and be cool to play with and it will all work out great!
 
mikeg_74 said:
If I join a club it's because I want access to golf on my schedule and enjoy the benefits. I'm not joining a club for the social aspect or to be accepted by the reigning men's group. I'm fully confident I'll make friends and eventually be asked to join a group if I were a member somewhere. If I wasn't it wouldn't be the the end or a reason to not renew.
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I agree w this set of statements.
I joined late last year, and I play golf around my schedule. I am always open to have someone join me, but I end up playing alone more often than not. I sign up on line, I have had people join.
As far as the men's group, I figure that I will join when I have time. I know there are always groups to join (and ones not to join), so it isn't a big deal now.
To the OP - see how things go in the spring, when you can get into the men's group "from the beginning" so to speak. Then you won't be the guy who showed up at the end if the year.


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I just joined a club for the first time as well. Specifically to find others to play with year round. Been out 3 times so far and have always been invited to play along. Even got asked to join the weekly money game. Glad I joined.
 
Double check your bill. Most bills I've gotten from a CC had "extra" charges.
 
tequila4kapp said:
To be fair, the OP said the group was the men's club - not just a group of guys that regularly play together - with scheduled games 3 times a week. If you showed up to play in your Tuesday night men's club and they told you there was a vetting process and they'd get back to you in a week, you wouldn't be put off? I think it is entirely reasonable to expect that as a paying member of the club you are going to have access to club events.
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To be fair the men's club are not usually sanctioned by clubs. As Dan said, they start as small groups and grow larger. Anyone can join our group, just have to ask. I was invited to play in the Bayhill men's group years ago and did for a bit. I know guys that are members that asked to join and were let in. It's a process in some clubs and not in others.

I find it interesting that the folks that have had issues had preconceived fears. Not all but some. I always find that if you go into something with your guard up, you give off a vibe that others respond to. Just what I've observed not hard facts just observations
 
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