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Are we too hard on our own Golf Game?

I think you're only too hard on yourself if it effects you negatively. If the worst it does is want you to be better, I see nothing wrong with that. We all know the potential based on the good shots and expect/want it knowing we can do it.
 
Probably the thread I needed to see today. Sometimes my score may not reflect on how well I played or vice versa.. I am definitely to hard on myself but at the end of the day I know I can play better. 9/10 times the wife and kids go with me (which is nice) I never pair up with people unless I play an open tournament, point is its become a family affair. At times I just don't have enough concentration with them there which then reflects on my score. The only time I get is early morning 6am weekends, that's when I hit the range, then we go play in the mid morning afternoon. Some evenings I go out by myself but most of the time 1 of the kids goes also. I do play a lot. At the end of my round I reflect with my wife and get some sort of input.. I know I can do better. As the season is winding down it makes me think of everything throughout the season good and bad.
Good thread for the day.
Thanks.
 
If you really want to be humbled go to a pga tour event and get to the practice range. Not a shot is mishit, no fats, no thins, just pure strikes. The sound is something, thwack after thwack, up and down the range.
Now some of these guys you don't recognize and then you realize how hard this game really is. But, that doesn't mean I take it easy on myself. There are plenty of things I can do to make my game better. I look at the good shots in a round and wonder why I can't do that the entire round. So in a sense I am hard on myself but want to have fun playing the game. Set realistic goals for yourself and put a plan in place to attain them, then don't be too hard on yourself. Honest self reflection is key. Enjoy the game.
 
I have played with so many golfers that hold themselves and their games in high regard. And that just is not the case. If you have game, it shows even when your bad. And I see a whole lot of bad and always caution my close friends to set their bars lower. I tell them to stop beating themselves up for hitting bad shots. They play once or twice a month and expect to have skills.

Or I play with the guy that swears he doesn't usually play this bad. I don't care if you play bad or not. I have always stood on the platform that golf is about having fun. If your out for four hours and are frustrated and unhappy then maybe it's time to step away or step back. Reset expectation, embrace the poor swings and poor course management. That is until you take steps to get better.
 
I think im way hard on myself. Not for the fact that I cant shoot par or a few strokes above but just playing consistent golf. What frustrates me is what ever im doing at the time is something so minor that's causing havoc with my round that when I find out what im doing wrong its like damn that was stupid why couldn't I have figured that out? But, with that said its apparent im not to the point in my game to be able to consistently diagnose on the fly during a round.

My biggest problem this year has been blow up holes. Its brutal to be sitting on the green in 4 on a par 4 or 5 on a par 5 then two putting or sometimes three putting. I have heard multiple times when playing with guys I have never played with say "You sure your a 13 hcp?" "I think your baggin"....then here comes a couple triples and sometimes a quad. "ahhhh, now I see where it comes in"

Last Monday I lost 7 balls off the tee box......7 balls. Iv NEVER done that since I started playing this game. Trust me, that would frustrate anyone on this site or in the golf world that's not a beginner.
 
Good Post.....totally agree.
 
I know that I am extremely tough on myself. When I control my mind and processes, I play well. When I let frustration get into the picture, I have a difficult time digging my way out of a bad round. This game is extremely mental once you have the basics of striking the golf ball.


SMILE! GOLF IS FUN!
 
Being hard on myself has always been my biggest downfall. Not in just golf or other sports but in everything. It is something that I have learned to deal with as I have gotten older. But my early years were bad on the golf course because I expected way to much of myself and was not happy when I could not live up to it.
 
Interesting thread... I fall in line with everyone else and my expectations each time I tee it up are high -- especially when I've been in a groove and scoring well. What I need to get better at is accepting a bad shot and remaining focused on the next shot. Even the pros make bad shots and they play this game for a living. So for the guy that plays a couple times a week (at best...) or 4 times a month, how can I expect to always score low??? In short, it's all about keeping things in perspective. Expect some bad shots, enjoy the great shots, stop trying to make the "hero" shot, and limit the damage when a bad shot is made. Making a bogey is not the end of the round and does not mean I need to make swing changes. Accept it for what it was -- a bad shot.
 
I think we sometimes expect too much from ourselves. I played with a guy last week, from our league, who I'd never played with before. He's around a 95 shooter, and his game supports that score. All during the round I heard him moan and complain that if he could sink more putts, not sky so many drives, and hit his irons straight consistently he could break 80. DUH!
 
I think it's very true, we all expect to do better. Heck, even the pros will comment after a good round that they "left a few shots out there."

Also I find many people don't understand handicaps, they think it means their "typical" amount over par when in fact it's based on their *potential*, i.e. their best scores, not the average. And even though I do understand handicaps, I still find myself getting into that trap. If I'm playing a course with a low rating/slope, I find myself expecting to score better than I probably should.

Then there's one friend of mine who's always complaining that he doesn't get any better and in fact has gotten worse over the past few years. I have to bite my tongue, but I'm not sure why he expects to get better when he never practices, doesn't take lessons or do anything that would actually cause improvement. Yet he still has that expectation....
 
This game is all ego. We are all capable of fantastic shots at times, so you think you can do that all the time. We also spend a lot of money on the game between clubs, greens fees, balls etc. And we play in front of friends or just strangers and don't want to embarrass ourselves.

Best thing to do is let the ego go, understand you're going to hit a LOT of poor shots every round, accept them, and try to make the next shot better. I go in with the expectation of 10 bad shots per round and try not to exceed that. Sometimes it means leaving a club like driver or even hybrid at home and hit 3-wood/6 iron and get to that par 4 in 3 shots instead of two and make a bogey and look for the pars where you can.

What I see a lot if hero ball of guys that hit their 3 wood 260 that one time from the fairway and try the impossible and then yell at themselves for not making the shot.
 
Post-round I think we're fine. If we were all really too hard on our games, we wouldn't still be playing. Nobody can handle an extended mental beat down. So maybe we're just a little more realistic about the state of our games and have a stronger desire to improve as a whole than the average monthly hacker. That's not necessarily good or bad. It just is what it is.

Now if we're talking during the round, then I say yeah I'm very hard on my game. The best thing I did was take a lesson and then play a round knowing that I was going to suck for awhile. And boy did I. Allowing myself an excuse made my in-round critique much softer than normal. Now that I'm feeling more comfortable with the changes I expect to be better but I'm hoping I'm also better about critiquing my game during the round. Unless I can't get off the tee, then cover your ears. lol
 
Yeah, I beat myself up.
I can have a 6 on a par 4 from a terrible drive.
Instead of being glad it wasn't worse, I remember the other times I've played this hole and had par or birdie.
At one time or another, I've birdied each of the holes at my home course.
But, that doesn't mean you can birdie all of them in one round.
I've shot some real ugly 38's and 39's for 9 holes.
Also, I've shot some fantastic 45's .
On the 45's I made recovery shots that did what I wanted, and were beyond my normal skill level.
The bad part of reality is:
If I can shoot an ugly 38, the next time I play with my normal game, I should shoot par. Right?

Nope. After a 38, I will shoot a 48 with my over confidence.
Golf is fun to hate sometimes.
 
Canadan said:
I just had a really good conversation about this with a friend yesterday.

At some point we need to take ownership of what we're readily capable of. If we aren't improving, and we aren't really doing anything to improve it, it's probably time to accept and enjoy the game we play.
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And what about when one is doing things (a lot of things and time and money and efforts) and still sees only a slight improvement. Its not so easy to accept. Not when all the excuses like.....you don't play enough, you don't practice enough, you don't take lessons, don't get fitted, don't work on short game enough, practice with a purpose and don't just pound balls, etc, etc.. are all exhausted because you done and do those things. And when all the other things are also followed like....don't let the last shots get to you, don't get down, manage with good decisions, think positive, don't over think, don't expect too much, keep it fun and enjoyable, etc,etc...

Its hard (even disheartening) to accept that having done all that and understanding all that and applying it has still lead to only minimal improvement. Its hard to accept that so many players havnt done half that, nor follow half that, if any at all nor have been doing it half as long and yet are able to play better and more consistently.

I have no choice but to accept it but honestly it sucks to know it. It sucks to own up to the fact that you've done everything you can within your means and still just cant be consistent enough yet to only be just a few strokes better than you were before it all and still not as good as so many who havnt taken on barely any of that stuff. Don't play as much., nor for as long, don't practice as much if at all, never fitted, don't even no what to manage, and yet show up and shoot 83's and 85's while I struggle to keep things under 90. It kind of sucks to know and accept that your just not as lucky and even after making great efforts. I mean I have to accept it because otherwise I would enjoy myself out there and then there would be no reason to play. But I wont lie, Im human and there are rounds once in a while where it eventually gets to me. Especially after knowing all those excuses are exhausted because I have done them so I no longer have them to blame. That why I went and did them and listened to it all and applied it all. So that I would improve if I did all that. But only to then see improvement be minimal at best? Not easy to accept...lol...but as said, I have to.
 
rollin said:
And what about when one is doing things (a lot of things and time and money and efforts) and still sees only a slight improvement. Its not so easy to accept. Not when all the excuses like.....you don't play enough, you don't practice enough, you don't take lessons, don't get fitted, don't work on short game enough, practice with a purpose and don't just pound balls, etc, etc.. are all exhausted because you done and do those things. And when all the other things are also followed like....don't let the last shots get to you, don't get down, manage with good decisions, think positive, don't over think, don't expect too much, keep it fun and enjoyable, etc,etc...

Its hard (even disheartening) to accept that having done all that and understanding all that and applying it has still lead to only minimal improvement. Its hard to accept that so many players havnt done half that, nor follow half that, if any at all nor have been doing it half as long and yet are able to play better and more consistently.

I have no choice but to accept it but honestly it sucks to know it. It sucks to own up to the fact that you've done everything you can within your means and still just cant be consistent enough yet to only be just a few strokes better than you were before it all and still not as good as so many who havnt taken on barely any of that stuff. Don't play as much., nor for as long, don't practice as much if at all, never fitted, don't even no what to manage, and yet show up and shoot 83's and 85's while I struggle to keep things under 90. It kind of sucks to know and accept that your just not as lucky and even after making great efforts. I mean I have to accept it because otherwise I would enjoy myself out there and then there would be no reason to play. But I wont lie, Im human and there are rounds once in a while where it eventually gets to me. Especially after knowing all those excuses are exhausted because I have done them so I no longer have them to blame. That why I went and did them and listened to it all and applied it all. So that I would improve if I did all that. But only to then see improvement be minimal at best? Not easy to accept...lol...but as said, I have to.
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For me I hold nothing against a guy that is visibly frustrated with his game after putting in tons of time, money and effort to get better. In fact I consider these guys the "real golfers" regardless of overall skill level.
The guys that drive me crazy are the guys that put in zero effort to improve but then mope and whine their way around the course as they shoot the same scores they always shoot.
 
Yes, definitely. I try not to be as hard on myself as I used to be as I really just want to play well, but specifically enjoy the game while I play. If the game goes really south I'll be mad but I've gotten better at moving on to the next shot after a bad one when I play.
 
ArmyGolf said:
For me I hold nothing against a guy that is visibly frustrated with his game after putting in tons of time, money and effort to get better. In fact I consider these guys the "real golfers" regardless of overall skill level.
The guys that drive me crazy are the guys that put in zero effort to improve but then mope and whine their way around the course as they shoot the same scores they always shoot.
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I hear that...
And now think how it feels for this scenario..lol.. But to be the one putting all he can into it without significant enough results , and then also have to hear the moping and whining from those who ddidnt put in but yet still are playing better than you who did. I mean talk about having to learn acceptance huh.

But on another note along similar lines of what you speak. Its like hearing the crying over and over about bad shots the person has no business taking. Playing the hero shots while not being good enough to do so and yet they still insist on punishing themselves by continuing to do it and also continue to curse and cry about it. I mean you want to play such shots cause you find it fun even though you only make like 10% of them? That's all great and go right ahead and enjoy taking your hero golf shots you have little business completing but then just don't constantly b*tch and moan in misery over the other 90% of the time about it.
 
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